Thursday, February 28, 2008

Conquoring The Great Divide (The Footnotes Are Priceless)

Who said the Humanities and Sciences were so different anyways? You know, I think they were deeply mislead. In fact, I am currently reporting to you live from my room at around 4am where I can assert to you that I am, in the great style of good English students everywhere, completely bullshitting a lab report. Yes, slinging the old bull for dear life as far as it will go. Maybe this is all substantiated, maybe not, but what do we really know about science anyway? Yeah we can prove theories with numbers and experiments but we never actually get to see it (at least at the 200 level). There is absolutley no reason why Unknown sample E can't be whatever I assert it to be. Further more, who said you needed multiple chromatograms anyway? I have one, it's pretty. In fact, it's symbolic of my monogamous relationship with the subject (at least as far as it knows). The fact that it took me two tries to get a good strip parallels my own personal development as a Chemist: I had to take two chemistry classes to realize how much I enjoy the subject. The strip itself also happenns to be part of a process abbreviated as TLC, which is an allusion to the common saying "TLC" as in "Tender Love and Care" which is what Chemistry and I need to give each other if our relationship is going to suceed. To add a third layer of meaning, it is also the name of a pop group who wrote a song about waterfalls. What better way to bring both Chemistry, love, and chemsexuality into the mainstream than hydrogen bonding and fluid dynamics?*

Yes, if all else fails, I will turn that in. (after you've cited more than two times, I don't think you can really stoop much lower...)

*Wow, I didn't even do that on purpose....

Monday, February 25, 2008

One Of Those Mornings

I walk in to my room to grab the remains of my homework, jealous of my comfortably dozing roomate illuminated by the earliest of pink pre-dawn light. I didn't actually have that much to do, but there was the sleeping late, then the oscars, then the me losing my concentration around 2am, but most of all, there were the documentaries...

heres part 1, the rest is on you tube too...

9/11- a corporate conspiracy? Could it have been prevented? This documentary was actually pretty intruiging, then again that comes with the nature of the material. I always thought there was something odd about the footage: plane crashes into tower, tower remains standing, then proceeds to crash floor by floor to the ground. If it was the velocity of the plane that caused such a mass of troubles in the buidling, wouldnt it act more like a domino falling down sideways than crashing downwards? The theory given, of course, is that the steel was so overheated that it either bent or broke, allowing the building to implode in on itself. This documentary claims that the steel was tested to temperatures well over those the fire could have maximally burned to in the building, (and wouldnt this have happenned immidiatley with no pause? wouldnt heat only subtract with time?) along with mentioning some bizarre construction occuring about a week before the attacks, and the random explosion building 7. Overall it was a very convincing documentary, at least until the end when they were like "come down the rabbit hole, welcome to the new wave, its OK..." Creepers. Way to kill a quality program, plus the website screams "send us money." And there are some other questions too- like if it was a corporate demolition, why even bother with planes in the first place? if a jet plane couldn't get that hot, what's to say chemical explosives could? Anyway, they make some good points, and I consider it my responsibility to spread the word just in case they are on to something. (which it seems like they might be) I bet all the fishy things are just people being bought off from AlQaeda. I doubt the US govt's intention is to go that far for a war and authortarian shits and giggles, but who knows. It's worth a peek.

The second one wasn't so mindblowing so no link. It was pretty much everything we already know about how the music industry is comprised of profit driven corporate robber barons who will only sign artists who would rather sell alot quickly than invest in quality acts that could do well with the same amount of pushing but who won't get the support simply because they don't fit the mainstream bracket of what corporations know will sell. (Yes, OSK, I was thinking of you)They also went on to explain (and essentially criticize) how large corporations will group together to promote an artists through every company under its umbrella. (eg. record label does record, artist promoted in partner subsidiary magazine, sell their cd at correlated chain store, etc) Honestly, I don't have a huge ethical problem with this. People wouldn't develop "mainstream only" music if people didn't like it. People are easily bought idiots with poor taste, but essentially the companies are really just profiting off of making them happy. It's a win-win situation between the seller and the consumer. Furthermore, using a profitible aspect of one of your companies to increase the value of your other companies or only doing buisness with artists you know will be successful isn't ethically wrong by any standard, it's good buisness. If you want to be into music because you like the art form and want to take risks, sign with an indie label and be happy with a small cult following. If you wanna be a big star, dress like P Diddy, and be on TRL, sell your creative soul to the devil. The idea of being famous is a corporate entity within itself- not a hard core indie one. You can't really have both, at least not in the same way. It's capitalism, we have a choice. If Indie labels didn't exist that would be another story, but they do, embrace their awesomeness and stop complaining just because the rest of the world hasn't caught on yet. They're also complaining about TV commercials using music. Dude, it's good advertising for both the product and the song simultanously. What's not to love? I know if you're an artist you don't wan't to forever be "the song on the [insert brand here] commercial" but it's a great gateway, and if you're any good you'll out grow your commercial reputation soon enough. I personally consider commercials a prime way to hear good songs. Maybe I am a corporate dominated Zombie, but hey at least my music makes me happy.

But they did make one point- even big names get treated like crap from a mainstream label. Did you know that a band on average has to sell 300,000 records just to break even after what they owe their label/producer from doing a record and video? let alone make a profit...OK, the guilt got me, I'm never illegally downloading ever again. It's also watching things like that that make me incredibly proud to live in the day and age that we do (despite my musical bitching and complaining) because there are now actually a bunch of internet record labels helping lesser known artists promote themselves. Yay technology! Yay globalization! Yay equal-footing on a world-wide platform! Yay Friedman! Yay blogosphere! I am excited to see what the future holds, especially considering that the "in" thing now is really alternative and bazarre stuff (then again, that might just be because I go to a women's college in Mass)

wohooo post 111. Oh, and in the style of Gavrich, I was listening to this song earlier today and couldn't help but add it in:

Hooker with a Penis by Tool

I met a boy wearing vans,
501 s, and a Dope beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he
Was ogt, From 92, The first EP.
And in between sips of coke
He told me that he thought
We were sellin out,
Layin down,
Suckin up
To the man.

Well now Ive got some Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger You should know that Im the man,
And if Im the man, Then youre the man, and Hes the man as well
so you can Point that fuckin finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what Ive sold you,
Dumb fuck. I sold out long before you ever heard my name.
I sold my soul to make a record, Dip shit, And you bought one.
So Ive got some Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger You should know that Im the man,
If Im the fuckin man Then youre the fuckin man as well
So you can point that fuckin finger up your ass.

All you read and Wear or see and Hear on tv
Is a productBegging for yourFatass dirtyDollar
So...shut up and Buy my new record
Send more money Fuck you, buddy.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Mailbox Usage: 69%

Ever since I started doing work at the library, I got into the habit of taking little study breaks on the public-use computers in the foyer. After about a month of doing this, I realized that the same guy (old, balding, never takes off his coat, fanny pack, odd strap around the back of his eyeglasses) is on the same computer all the time. I'm assuming he doesn't actually have any affiliation to the school, because if he did he could just log-in on a computer in the lab like everyone else does when they're planning on being online for hours on end, as he often is. This didn't really seem too odd to me until finals week. Usually the library closes at 12, but during finals week it's open till 2 AM. Yes ladies and gents, 1:30 AM on a weeknight, and he's still there. What is his job exactly? Lord knows. What's even wierder is that every time I look over his shoulder, he's always reading something in Russian. Now I don't actually have a problem with random people using my college's computers (even if they might be commies) so long as another student doesn't need one, but last night, he crossed the line.

You see, the most notorious aspect of this man is this: he wreaks. I'm not just talking about post-gym bad BO, oh no, this is a legitimate stench. Perhaps he's one of those people that needs to carry around a bag to pee in or wears diapers or something? I am almost tempted to get a little closer simply because it is by far the most pungent smell I have ever encountered on another human being in my entire life. That is, until I remember it's friggen gross. How did he cross the line exactly? Well, usually I only have to bear light whiffs of this perfume if I happen to be using the adjacent computer, but last night it was too much. By some extension of his super human powers of aromatic radiation, I could not only smell it as I walked by him, but I had to walk down another computer or two, across the main lobby, and then use the computers in the other half of the foyer inorder to evade the stench. Really, if you're going to mooch off of facilities that you in all probability don't pay for at least be subtle about it. And just when I thought that he couldn't have out done himself, it gets worse. I'm leaving the library at 1 AM (yay, extended hours this semsester! I'm so lame...) after they've kicked most other people out (including our friend) and the room still smelled. Ouch.

How does he do it?!?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Yay! Procrastination!

Please, if you find yourself with 10 minutes to spare, humor me....

let me know what you get!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

If This Blog Had Any Credibility, I Think I Just Killed It...

Here it is, Mango Addicts, Juicy's first, last, and only, attempt at a rap. I'm not sure whether to be sorta proud or a little embarassed...Tell me what you think. The working title is 'Life Lacks Epic'

Life lacks epic
Its like an epidemic
people all around me
kept down by the TV
kept down by the police

kept down by the fears of what's comin to be
I swear its the end of the last generation
sometimes wish I was around before the age of information
its like im waiting for some soulful detonation
or at least an excuse to get loose and make a little mayehem
that wont show up on my record when i need to get a job
sick of living for my future life all day long

The other day I went to buy my friend some cigarettes
I had the money and the license but they carded her instead
I said woman this is crazy im 18 and theyre for me
she said sorry honey thats the way it gotta be
Now they wouldnt have pulled that bull back in our parents day
clerk might ask you youre age, but took your word it was Ok
I had a teacher once said he need to 'pologize
i said why you aint done no wrong in my eyes
he says i grew up in the 70s doin all crazy shit
thanks to my generation every thing you do gotta be much more legit
once i heard of a girl goin to school and workin hard
wanna be a lawyer, take the LSAT, pass the BAR
on the weekend shed relax toke some weed with her friends
once the cops busted a party, yah you bet it was the end
one spot on your record they wont never let it go
now she cant be a lawyer and who's to blame? the popo!


Every now and then in highschool id be gettin pretty bored
id say hey lets go out but theyre all playin' 64
then i got to college it was pretty much the same
all itunes and you tube and internet games
now i love a cozy night being lazy just as much as any other
but everynow and then i say come on lets blow this mother fucka
theres a whole world out there and theres stories to be told
crazy fuckas to meet and were only gettin more old
back in the days when you was bored you would make your own joy

get out and about, go on adventures, maybe make a little noise
but today all you need coming to you on a screen
via sattelite and cable and your ISP
now i respect all this has done to make things more comfortable and nice
but i have to wonder what were losing when its all we ever do in life


Once i met a man interviewing me for college
went to Harvard i thought wow bet you amassed a lot a knowledge
he said oh there's not much to say, 'fact I pity you kids today
back when I was accepted I took just 1 AP, barely passed, infact i got a 3
my science project was a bean sprout, and Iwas pretty proud
but nowadays its nothing that would stand out in a crowd
I've interviewed kids taken ten APs, writing their own books, volunteering good deeds
kickin ass on the now 10 section SAT
I've seen everything that was most impressive but I still had to say
you just ain't gonna cut it in this age and day
And you think it's bad here?

Go on East it gets worse overe there
my friend been drinkin coffee every day, skimpin sleep since she was 12
doing standardized test prep, being tutored, and trying to do well
another little girl, she was only six
killed herslef because the pressure wanna make her call it quits.


Yeah, sick of living in this future life all day long...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

How Exactly Do You Talk Dirty in IUPAC?

Now at first, I wasn't sure if I really should be publishing this on the internet, especially with so many eager minors reading...

But I guess we can let that slide, after all, it is Valentines Day. So here is a lovely photo for you all, even if you're not old enough to buy it for yourself yet...

Oh, and if you're wondering, the technical name for that, Alex, is [insert Jeapordy Music here] ...3-methyl-2,3-dibutene-1-al? OK I have no clue. Effing double bonds. Happy V Day everyone, and remember to use some (1-methylethyl)benzene!!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Love and Lies

My lover lied to me. It was horrible. Truly horrible, as if my world was turned upside-down in an instant, and my stomach wished only to do the same. I couldn't belive it. Ever since we were but wee children in middle school and even only mildly acquainted, with no need for lies and deception, I always knew that if there was one thing about Chemistry that I could count on, it was the Octet rule. Sure, any elements beneath the 3rd row can expand octets, and Nitrogen (with its annoying odd number of valence electrons) is better off having less of a full octet than too many, but I always knew that if I wanted to draw a legit Lewis structure, I had to make sure that every atom had 8 electrons associated with it in order to be "happy." Well apparently, that was a lie. All my time spent trying to please my beloved and it was worth nothing, NOTHING! Hmph! All these years I've been decieved, lied to, mistreated, it's really quite unfathomable. To think that you have to draw out almost every possible resonance structure regardless of satisfying the octet rule or holding to the same formal charge, and to think that these could be considered legitmate and add to the stability of an atom. And the worst bit? They can even be counted when trying to determine the most stable product of a reaction. LIES! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE LIES!

It's times like this if I really wonder if we have the strength to go on. I mean, can an infatuation, even one so deep and passionate as ours was, really make it in the real world beyond a few semesters? And the falsehood....Oh God, I can't even think about it. I have been betrayed, truly betrayed. But perhaps there is some hope for us after all, as if the Fates have stepped in to rescue us from our dishonest past and give us a new chance. Yes, a horrible truth was revealed this week, but it's also the week of Valentine's Day, and then we are finally starting nomenclature. Nomenclature: the reson I fell in the first place, the reason I strove so hard to get us here. It might be a quick fix to a long term problem, I know, but nomenclature, Oh Baby....

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Mama, I Love You...

A not so famous psychiatrist once told me that in our romantic relaitonships, we are striving to correct problems we had with our relationships with our parents. (that's probably where Freud comes in.) I would just like to say that I honestly think that that is a load of bull crap. Yes, your parents are the first members of both genders you encounter, and from that you will learn what you like and don't like. But as you meet more people you will gain a more complex understanding of people, and you will gain a more complex view of what you want in a person. Freud says that we look for a partner that is either very similar to or the exact of opposite of our mother or father (depending on your gender and perhaps orientation) but surely this only works on a quality by quality level. Some qualities you might wish to be the same, others the opposite. To make a vast generalization for all of them is completely wrong. (OK i've met my fair share of guys with mommy-complexes, but that's not everyone. Thank God.) In addition, I don't think that people who were abused as children are into S&M, but that's just a hypothesis.

However, someone abused as a child might choose to not have kids so that they never become the evil parent they once had. I think that is the place where we truly seek to rectify the relationships we had with our parents: the relationships we have with our own children. Personally, the only time I find myself wondering about my future offspring or even wanting to create them is when I'm pissed at my 'rents, and I think this makes sense. For starters, how many times have you sworn under your breath that you'll "never do this to my kids." Furthermore, every parent wants to "give their kid what they never had" often times whether the kid wants it not. For example, a parent that felt their parent never gave them enough freedom will give their child far more freedom than they ever had. This child might then grow up to wish they had stricter parents in the long run, be strict with their kids, and the vicious cycle continues. It's like interlocking puzzle pieces of well intentioned compensation and overcompensation all forming the leaves of the family tree.

But back to the topic of relationships. Yup, it's that time of year again, peaches. It was about a month ago when I first took a stroll in target only to see everything from heart-themed dinner wear and kitchen utensils (wouldn't you only use them once a year anyway?) to candy packs from every decade to pretty much any product you could ever imagine in pink and red. I was just about to sigh and start the traditional oh-so-fabulous wallowing in self pity that goes along with the holiday when I realized: "Wait a minute, I really have no reason to be doing this, wtf?" Well that was an indicator if there ever was one. Bummer. (But maybe the mommy complex should have been a red flag after all?) Anyway, till then we can always celebrate Anti-Valentines Day (the 13th before the dreaded day for many) and revel in the color scheme and candy on the day itself just for kicks. Truth be told, I think this is going to be least eventful Valentines day I've ever had. I'm not emo about being eternally alone but there's really no one to make the holiday a total landmark occasion either. (And I already got into college, not that that wasn't fun last year) Oh well, I have a current fling going with all MA radio stations (seriously, they're amazing!) and TRUE Love lasts a lifetime....

Tomorrow bitches! and they BETTER still be dressed like that!!!

Sunday, February 03, 2008


Perhaps I'm breaking the silence on some sort of unspoken truth amongst nerdy gamers everywhere, but you can tell a shitload about a person by thier Dungeons and Dragons character. The type of creature they are, each added little quirk of personality, the powers they choose, their weaknesses, all reflect (conciously or not) facets of major personalities in the creators own life, hyperbolized and made even more whimsical on the Fantasy RPG playing field.

So just who is Trixie "VonBadass"? I shant bore you with a long, deep, introspective rant. (As I essentially already have, though if you're in the mood OSKs blog will not fail you) but this is a question worth pondering. Come to think of it, I know alot about Trixie, she's been around for awhile. But who are my other characters? And furthermore, which one of them leapt up, cracked her back from lying low for so long, and started to dance around when I found myself sitting around a table of "mostly n00bs, but a few hardcore fantasy geeks and gamers" playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I admit it, I played Dungeons and Dragons. And fuck you VH1, I loved it. Infact, I wish I had discovered it when I was nine (then again, coming up with your own fantasy world is ten times more fun than following someone elses rules, but if I was ever looking for something a little more surprising...and hey, maybe there's a direct correlation between D&D and math skills? I so could have used that.)

Oh, and for the record: Amelita Shinestone was born into an above average, very well to do clan of Pixies. She was a smart and talented young pixie, although a bit bizarre at times. She was unusually skilled with sharp weapons, which she practiced despite her placid parents' frightened disapproval. Her parents quickly grew concerned over her inherently violent nature and quick temper, turning her hair and eyes into a flaming vermillion hue unseen in any other of her kind. In addition, she had no sense of society's laws, morales, or values, especially those of the Pixies. Though she did not torture the weak for amusement, she took pleasure in a well earned victory, and definitley took no pity on those who could not keep themselves up to par. As she grew older, her small clan's persistant, good-intentioned concern for her well being only further agigtated her. When she was 15, after her dozenth brawl with one of her poor peer pixies, her parents sent her to the local PixieShrink. Just before he could utter his diagnosis from what little conversation he could glean out of her, he found himself knocked to the ground. Just before he lost all conciousness, a towering flame buzzing in the air over him in heated rage quipped "I don't need to put up with this shit." That was the last seen of Amelita by any of the clan. A few days later, news of a brawl in a neighbouring area came back to the group. No one knew exactly who was invovled, but when rumor spread that a Pixie had cleverly tricked the unfortunate loser only before attacking him in fiery rage , none of the clan were surprised, despite such an unbeleivable description of one of their own kind. And so she was, nolonger Ameltia Shinestone, but simply that violent trickster Pixie. Trixie: Pixie Barbarian.