The Spoon Doesn't Lie...

I've spent the past two years (well, ok, more like one-and-a-half) working my butt off to ensure I have every option and advantage possible when it comes to making this decision, and I finally narrowed it down to two very different (but both freakishly Nexusy) choices. The mild panic attack I just had over making such a big decision in the first place didn't help, nor has my reoccurring volition to base it solely on maximizing radical change in my life. Hell, once I thought I made the decision, and then turned against it solely because everything just seemed to be moving too well in that direction. To be honest, I'm not sure if I will love where I am going, in fact, I figure there is a chance I will leave. But there is also a chance that it will be one of the best times of my life, and the more I think and ask about it, the more encouragement I get, even from many fortuitously placed strangers. In the long run I really feel it's for the best, so ladies and gentlemen, without further ado...The spoon doesn't lie. See you in Massachusetts.

Ski More College

...yeah... that was on a bumper sticker on a car with roof racks...thought it was clever...Anyway, so the quest for JuicyU continues and I think we can safely cross Skidmore off the list...It was nice (in a summer camp meets eco-friendly big prep school in the very pretty middle of nowhere kind of way) and the people were OK (in a preppy meets hippy sorta way) But I don't know if i could see myself there for a solid 4 years without losing my mind, or at least half of my brain cells because, um...party school much? I was walking around the senior housing and every appartment had a recycling bin filled over the top with beer crates, and I looked inside one of them and it was just all bottles all along the counter. This was thursday afternoon. The freshman dorm also breaks several doors/windows a semester.

While the college itself wasn't so amazing, (PS who was smart enough to put accepted candidates day on 4/20?) the 2.5 hour ride up there actually was. My dad got a guy that works for him (early 20s?) to drive me up, and even though we had never met before we spent the entire time bonding and talking about feelings. (yay!) It was highly enjoyable, and I learned some interesting things:

1. I am a severely harsh realist
2. His ex girlfriend is a bitch
3. If you think someone is lying, they probably are
4. If you do not know if a guy or a girl is lying, trust the guy
5. His ex girlfriend is a bitch
6. Guys hurt more after a break up...they may rarely get attached, but when they do, they really do...
7. Dating two guys simontaneously and just not telling one about the other is apparently a really bitchy thing to do (who knew?)
8. His ex girlfriend is a BITTCHHH!!!
9. Number 4 is void if the guy is a player
10. You may think that your life is at a horrible point, but it really could be worse...You have a lot to be thankful for.
11. When looking at a prospective mate, you can learn a lot about them from their family
12. being the youngest and only guy with 9 older sisters is...interesting
13. When you realize that your serious girlfriend of 3 yearswhom you almost married has been dating another guy for 4 months, and the other guy finds out that she's been tagging you along for 3 years, plotting together on an elaborate confrontation inwhich to humiliate the bitch is the thing to do!

Yeah, learned a little more from that than I probly would have at the anatomy class i slept through...

Senior Spring....Or Not....

Dad: I don't wanna hear any more of this senioritis bullshit...if you don't try your best to get back on superus you're going to summer school.

( Juicy's thinking: Isn't this how bad movies are started? oh god...)

Juicy: dad...it's senior spring...these grades don't matter.

Dad: yes, they do! they will be on your record for the rest of your life. Trust me, I am an employer and if I'm going to spend $150,000 on someone I want to know they always did their best.

Juicy: But dad, do you have any idea how hard i worked junior year? i was like a hypochondriac caffeine addict. it was not healthy!!!

Dad: well, go back to the caffeine then! i've been doing the caffeine for 50 years and look where I got

Juicy: your Doctor says your at high risk of a heart attack...

Dad: well at least I know I gave it my all

Juicy: true...

What Juicy wanted to say but kindly didnt to avoid her father's midlife crisis:

Gave it your all for what, huh? for a huge, empty house and a boat that's never big enough? You're never happy. to pay for my education so I could grow up to be just like you? for a highschool average you still remember 30 years later? everytime I talk to you you regret not being a Bill Gates so some part of you clearly feels like you failed something. All you care about is "success" that you measure in social status. Whatever happenned to just enjoying your life? What if I don't mind just being average? I don't need all that. You've been alive for fifty years, how could you not have seen that you can't always give it your best 24/7? That hard work doesn't always pay off? C'mon I know you know that. Yeah maybe I am giving up, and maybe you're not proud of me. But sorry for not jumping back in the ring to fight the good fight when I don't have anything left to fight for.

What Juicy Then Said: Dad...when was the last time you stopped perpetually thinking about the next step and just enjoyed the present?

Dad: You can never stop thinking about the next step; it'll be there before you know it.


That, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of childhood.

Breast Fest

hah...hah...rape. Ok, actually no. So i was only at Smith for 24 hours, but apparently that was long enough for me to absorb the fem nazi PC vibe (and get antsy as hell, and accidentally check out a transexual, and meet lots of lesbians) Anyway, there was an exhibit on the in the quad. Every rape victim or friend/family member of a rape victim decorated a t shirt and hung it up. There were over 200 shirts (which is pretty disturbing within itself) and here were a few of the most shocking writings:

"I'm 20 years old and still waiting for my first kiss because of you"

"I came to you for help after I had just been raped. I was still shaking. You raped me again"

"big brother, how does it feel to have your 3 year old sister suck your 18 year old cock?"

"daddy, how could you do that to me?" (like 1/3 of them were peoples dads)

"yeah, but you didn't get raped like i got raped, a random guy on the street with a knife, you knew him, it doesn't count"

yeah...rape...not so funny. But before I get too serious, let's give you mango addicts something else to (consentually) suck on...
ok yeah couldn't think of anything, we'll just have to stick with rape for now...later!

I'm Sorry I Byrned My Toast

So pretty much the stupidest little thing can lead to the worst most disproportionate consequences, and I am clearly not to be trusted when it comes to self-restraint. My mom, being the eternal optimist that she is, said that things always work out for the best, and sometimes in life the worst things can lead to the very best things. I'm not really sure of that myself, or rather, if it's always true, but i really hope it is. And when it comes to people who arguably risked their ass to save mine, I hope it comes true pretty damn quickly.

Shout Outs. BB.