Ok, I know there have been many times in my life when I have proved the chunky, yet fluid nature of my intelligence. By that I mean sometimes it's really there, and sometimes it's really, really not. I can normally tell it's not there, because it's when my Madre gives me a look as if to say (or just blatantly says) "You take advanced classes and get such better grades than I did, but do you actually have any common sense whatsoever?" Instances of this include: me lacking any sense of direction and still not knowing how to get to places I've been millions of times, cleaning by essentially relocating dirt, and running into those big concrete pillars in the mall that some silly architect thought it would be beneficial to put right in the middle of the hallway. (Seriously- who does that? And especially when everyone knows the mall was half made for socializing. I firmly uphold that people should be able to talk to their friends without the perpetual fear of being rendered unconcious by a stone pillar that could just as easily have been put somewhere else.)
I'm not really sure if today was one of those days- but it definitley feels like one. After pulling an all nighter (a sucessful one this time, I might add) to study to finer points of series, infinite sums, and power series (really cool stuff, by the way) I go to take the math midterm I forgot I had, not only to muddle up the most basic method of determining convergence, but also confusing it with the divergence test, and referring to it as that the entire time. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask koops, he's probably wiki'd it already). Luckily I realized I had no idea what to do, and used probablity to answer accordingly, but we can still safely say I'll be lucky if I passed. The worst bit is- if I hadn't confused this incredibly simple principle, it really would have been the easiest exam we've had yet by far. And now if I don't get an A on the final, then I quite possibly just threw away an A in the easiest class I've had all semester.
I shant continue to bore you with the details of my academic life, or how, like an infinite series with partial sums that continue to increase (which apparently means, I should probably now add, that it might infact still converge) it seems to be diverging off into the world of infinitley bad. But since I already feel like enough of a * in that regard, lets look at a few other thoughts on my mind, and maybe I can reap what few infintesimally small grains of grey matter I have left, and share them with my devoted (?) readership. I always liked a good English class, so let's make this like a vocab list:
Antimatter- the equivalently massive but oppositley charged particle of every particle in our known universe. Whenever antimatter gets in contact with actual matter, in reacts to form a photon, and then essentially dissapears. For some unknown reason, when our universe was being created, matter had a tendency to be produced far more than antimatter, and so everytime antimatter was created, it dissapeared. But I can't help but wonder- given the proposal made by string theory, that there are many dimensions in existance far beyond our comprehension, in addition to my Madre's Spiritualist New Age babble, could this actually be a scientific definition for heaven? Given that, as I said before, Antimatter will immidiatly react with matter (like, surrounding air for example) to form light, and that in the Bible Jesus in his heavenly form was described as a light so blinding one could barely look it him (in addition to the idea of light that surrounds alot of other spiritual entities) is it possible that he was just presenting himself (albeit at the slight risk of self anniahlation, but hey he's Jesus) in his antimatter form that exists free from matter in the other dimension that is actually the "other side" And what about ghosts? What are they made of? They're supposed to be detectable by disturbances in the electromagnetic field, and isn't light an electro magnetic wave? It makes sense also that their presence in this world would be a weak and futile one, if once they appear in it they need to worry about not quickly reacting away to nothingness.
Big Brother- Orwell long predicted that as time progressed, the government would start peering more and more into our personal lives. But with the advent of reality TV, facebook/my space stalking, and internet blogs/journals, is this really what we want after all? Is it an added sense of security for the author? Or perhaps it's more driven by the masses that are intruiged to read it? Never mind the government, are we becoming Big Brother ourselves?
Cosmeceuticals- (Sp?) A word I heard in an infomercial around 4 or 5 am- clearly demonstrates the direction of society without any further analysis from yours truly.
Eighteen to Drink, Twenty-One to Buy- So the days are long gone when I realistically dream of toasting to the end of the drinking age in America, but this is my proposed compromise: Make it illegal for anyone under 21 to buy alchohol, but not illegal for anyone over 18 (or an even lower age, younger the better) to consume it. You see, if we were to follow the current law (which over 90 percent of the population disobeys anway- isn't that reason enough to reasses the situation?) then people would technically have full access to all the alcohol they wanted at 21 with no actual drinking experience. This, as anyone who remembers their own "first time" knows that this is not a very good thing. By making the age to buy alcohol older than the age required to drink it, the government would ensure that there is most likely someone older and more experienced aware of what is going on, and also ensure that by the time people are old enough to buy for themselves, they will not lose control or go overboard. This would also prevent government money from being spent on frivolous law suits against teenagers and college students, not to mention save college students a shitload of disciplinary trouble which- let's face it- is never actually going to stop college students from drinking in the majority of our country's higher institutions. Plus, our driver's licenses are graduated, why not the drinking age?
Married With Children- My guilty pleasure. It seems that no matter how old or fem-nazish I get, there is something classically good about a "NO MA'AM" (National Organization for Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) or life/wife hating, "Peg, make me a sandwhich" joke at 3 am. True, the majority of the stuff probably flew over my head back when I watched it at the age of 7 (and has probably scarred me for life in ways I really don't even want to think about now) but it's still somehow just as entertaining...go figure.
Roswell- Hmmm....a bunch of short, flat eyed life forms are found dead in a desert on a vehicle with "heiroglyphic style" writing right after WWII let out and the government stopped forcing Asian people into their Japanese "Internment camps"...hmm...yes, definitley Aliens. And it would make perfect sense for the government to try and cover up the existence of extraterrestrial beings too. I mean, essentially all releasing the information would do would be to increase nationalism as a planet/country thus rallying more populist support, and give them another reason to make us feel like we need to depend on them for security. Yup, that would be horrible for them. Like I said, definitley Aliens that the government is trying to cover up.
(If I don't blog for awhile, the unmarked white van came...I'll miss you all)
Monday, December 10, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
The Eight Months of Hanukkah
In the spirit of the holiday season upon us, I have decided to recognize a little miracle I take for granted everyday. No, it's not my family, friends, socio-economic status, or good health; it's my shampoo.
You see, back in high school I went to boarding school. This is great if you want to wear skirts and ties everyday, conform, and please "The Man," but a very unfortunate circumstance when you need to procure basic necessities (such as shampoo) and lack a car. Around April or early May of this year, I managed to persuade (and by that I half mean blatantly manipulate, but hey it did him lots of good too) my licensed day student friend (JV) to do my grocery shopping.
It has been about eight months since that excursion. The food has been consumed, the shower poof thing has disintegrated, and I'm pretty sure I went through the body wash and the conditioner. But yes pious followers, even throughout these tough and freakishly extended times, the shampoo still remains. In fact, despite retaining the same cleanly habits as always, I still have over 1/3 of the bottle left. As much as I don't want to jinx this great, cost efficient phenomena, I simply cannot understand it. Never have I known a product that I used so much excess of on such a regular basis to last this long. The only explanation- a miracle: The Miracle of The Hanukkah Shampoo.
Now as in the case of all great, holy relics, even though we cannot understand their miraculous preservation, we can learn from them by letting them remind us of things on a daily basis. Here, the message is clear:...Ok, maybe not so much, unless you count "keep clean hair." But whatever it is, if my math serves me correctly, it is also teaching us something else: that the great spirit of Hair Hanukkah is not limited to its eight months, but quite possibly, a celebration that should be kept in our hearts all year long.
Head Banging Hora anyone?
(While both technical difficulties and religious authorities prevent me from actually photographing the holy relic, here is a quality imitation) :
You see, back in high school I went to boarding school. This is great if you want to wear skirts and ties everyday, conform, and please "The Man," but a very unfortunate circumstance when you need to procure basic necessities (such as shampoo) and lack a car. Around April or early May of this year, I managed to persuade (and by that I half mean blatantly manipulate, but hey it did him lots of good too) my licensed day student friend (JV) to do my grocery shopping.
It has been about eight months since that excursion. The food has been consumed, the shower poof thing has disintegrated, and I'm pretty sure I went through the body wash and the conditioner. But yes pious followers, even throughout these tough and freakishly extended times, the shampoo still remains. In fact, despite retaining the same cleanly habits as always, I still have over 1/3 of the bottle left. As much as I don't want to jinx this great, cost efficient phenomena, I simply cannot understand it. Never have I known a product that I used so much excess of on such a regular basis to last this long. The only explanation- a miracle: The Miracle of The Hanukkah Shampoo.
Now as in the case of all great, holy relics, even though we cannot understand their miraculous preservation, we can learn from them by letting them remind us of things on a daily basis. Here, the message is clear:...Ok, maybe not so much, unless you count "keep clean hair." But whatever it is, if my math serves me correctly, it is also teaching us something else: that the great spirit of Hair Hanukkah is not limited to its eight months, but quite possibly, a celebration that should be kept in our hearts all year long.
Head Banging Hora anyone?
(While both technical difficulties and religious authorities prevent me from actually photographing the holy relic, here is a quality imitation) :
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Journey To El Dorado
I would just like to announce to you al, comrades, that I have infact, found the fountain of Youth. (Well, actually it's more like the fountain of productivity, but it's all about accomplishment and ability in the end, isn't it?)
First, comrades, you must go deep into the caves of mystery (the library basement) and find a quiet, private space inwhich to practice this ritual. When you feel your deep exertions starting to catch up to you, you must take a break and travel. On your quest, you must procure the drink made from the mystical buzz-giving bean (coffee) and consume it. This is to be accompanied by a tasty, sugary snack.
When the caves of mystery nolonger produce their artificial light by which you work, journey back to your place of residence. Here, you will briefly rest your mind and body by means of gossip, in preparation for the long night ahead.
Around 1 am, you must travel again downwards- this time, to El Dorado, also known as the realm of residential relaxation (TV room), and begin to forge that which you designed in the caves of mystery. Here, ladies and gentleman, is the great discovery of our time: Hockey Games and VH1. With such amusing, musical, yet essentially mindless noise being emitted from the box of hypnosis(TV), your mind will not be tempted to wander in the ways it might wish to in the wee hours of the morning. While the plush couch accomadates comfort, you will be immune to your bed's tempting call. When combined with the mystical buzz-bringing bean's more condensed potion of stamina (an energy drink), some great phenomenon in the very essence of this programming will keep you running and focused until the wee hours of the morning. Even when 6 am comes, not once will you have felt the urge to run down the path of cowards into the land of the dormant. Instead, you will be amazed at your own abilities. At 7, a refreshing trip to the warm springs that fall from the ceiling (a shower) will have you energized, purified, and ready for the day to come.
But here comrades, is where even I failed. Alas, I stole too much from the Great Golden City. I was too productive, did too much. Had I finished my work even an hour later, I would not have wondered what to do with these odd two hours before class. I let my eyes rest, I was concious at first, so concious....but No. I failed you comrades, I failed you all. Though I saw with my own eyes the chronological arrival of my intellectual commitments ("The Man") I instead defected to the dark land of the dormant. For this, I am deeply sorry, and only hope you can forgive me, and that you shall have better succes than I in the journeys to come.
First, comrades, you must go deep into the caves of mystery (the library basement) and find a quiet, private space inwhich to practice this ritual. When you feel your deep exertions starting to catch up to you, you must take a break and travel. On your quest, you must procure the drink made from the mystical buzz-giving bean (coffee) and consume it. This is to be accompanied by a tasty, sugary snack.
When the caves of mystery nolonger produce their artificial light by which you work, journey back to your place of residence. Here, you will briefly rest your mind and body by means of gossip, in preparation for the long night ahead.
Around 1 am, you must travel again downwards- this time, to El Dorado, also known as the realm of residential relaxation (TV room), and begin to forge that which you designed in the caves of mystery. Here, ladies and gentleman, is the great discovery of our time: Hockey Games and VH1. With such amusing, musical, yet essentially mindless noise being emitted from the box of hypnosis(TV), your mind will not be tempted to wander in the ways it might wish to in the wee hours of the morning. While the plush couch accomadates comfort, you will be immune to your bed's tempting call. When combined with the mystical buzz-bringing bean's more condensed potion of stamina (an energy drink), some great phenomenon in the very essence of this programming will keep you running and focused until the wee hours of the morning. Even when 6 am comes, not once will you have felt the urge to run down the path of cowards into the land of the dormant. Instead, you will be amazed at your own abilities. At 7, a refreshing trip to the warm springs that fall from the ceiling (a shower) will have you energized, purified, and ready for the day to come.
But here comrades, is where even I failed. Alas, I stole too much from the Great Golden City. I was too productive, did too much. Had I finished my work even an hour later, I would not have wondered what to do with these odd two hours before class. I let my eyes rest, I was concious at first, so concious....but No. I failed you comrades, I failed you all. Though I saw with my own eyes the chronological arrival of my intellectual commitments ("The Man") I instead defected to the dark land of the dormant. For this, I am deeply sorry, and only hope you can forgive me, and that you shall have better succes than I in the journeys to come.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Funny Nose People*
Most teenagers and children eagerly await the day that they will smile infront of a digital camera at the DMV (without a hat or dark glasses) and get their inevitably shitty picture taken. But as is often the case, my life has taken an unusual and somewhat dysfunctional twist. Yes ladies and gentleman, as of thanksgiving break, I now own a Non-Drivers Identification Card. (AKA an easy way to spot a loser.)
Now, we have before us a very bittersweet situation if there ever was one. On one hand, I got this card because I turned 18 (and thus, legally became a person) and need to prove this regularly without lugging around my passport, or using my year old highschool student ID. Yay adulthood! On the other hand, it only continues to rub in the fact that after 2 years of practice and procrastination (namely the latter) I STILL CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE! Seriously, if I need to ask my parents for a ride somewhere one more time I might just die of shame. And here's another thing: it looks exactly like a driver's license, so much to the point where I actually temporarily forgot I didn't have one and got exceptionally giddy, only to be reminded I'm just not that cool yet.
If this event was any indication, When I actually get my license I swear to God I will sleep with it on my pillow and cuddle it all night long for at least several days. (By the way, that date has now been pushed up to January)
As for other things going on in my life? Not much to a sad degree. The lack of recent posts is due to my laptop having been swiped clean because it got a virus and my inability to get it back on the network, in addition to a horrendous workload that overnight when from unbeleivably easy to kicking me in the ass. (perhaps this is because I don't go to class, but that's just a guess) In short- I cannot wait for this semester to end. And just when I thought things were already bad: My lover raped me. legitimatley. It was horrible. I would post a picture of it but my webcam is on my laptop which...you know. (not to mention it's a little graphic)
Screw my lover, I need winter break, NOW! And here's another thought on that: The other day I realized that the majority of my favorite Christmas Songs ("and so this is christmas?", "do they know it's christmas time at all?") are sad ones. How does that reflect on my character? I dunno, the other ones I really like either don't really have audible words ("Silver Bells" preferably the electric guitar version) or are cutesy ("All I Want for Christmas Is You"), the latter of which mainly just makes me feel depressed because I don't really want anyone at the moment that much (with one possible exception, but he's Jewish so I guess I don't have to worry about the season.) Also on that parenthetical note- my room has now turned into Hannukah (sp? like anyone can...) land. Thank you my deeply jewish roomate. (Mmmm....latkas)
* what my mom calls what most would refer to as "snowmen" eg- I love those funny nose people!
Now, we have before us a very bittersweet situation if there ever was one. On one hand, I got this card because I turned 18 (and thus, legally became a person) and need to prove this regularly without lugging around my passport, or using my year old highschool student ID. Yay adulthood! On the other hand, it only continues to rub in the fact that after 2 years of practice and procrastination (namely the latter) I STILL CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE! Seriously, if I need to ask my parents for a ride somewhere one more time I might just die of shame. And here's another thing: it looks exactly like a driver's license, so much to the point where I actually temporarily forgot I didn't have one and got exceptionally giddy, only to be reminded I'm just not that cool yet.
If this event was any indication, When I actually get my license I swear to God I will sleep with it on my pillow and cuddle it all night long for at least several days. (By the way, that date has now been pushed up to January)
As for other things going on in my life? Not much to a sad degree. The lack of recent posts is due to my laptop having been swiped clean because it got a virus and my inability to get it back on the network, in addition to a horrendous workload that overnight when from unbeleivably easy to kicking me in the ass. (perhaps this is because I don't go to class, but that's just a guess) In short- I cannot wait for this semester to end. And just when I thought things were already bad: My lover raped me. legitimatley. It was horrible. I would post a picture of it but my webcam is on my laptop which...you know. (not to mention it's a little graphic)
Screw my lover, I need winter break, NOW! And here's another thought on that: The other day I realized that the majority of my favorite Christmas Songs ("and so this is christmas?", "do they know it's christmas time at all?") are sad ones. How does that reflect on my character? I dunno, the other ones I really like either don't really have audible words ("Silver Bells" preferably the electric guitar version) or are cutesy ("All I Want for Christmas Is You"), the latter of which mainly just makes me feel depressed because I don't really want anyone at the moment that much (with one possible exception, but he's Jewish so I guess I don't have to worry about the season.) Also on that parenthetical note- my room has now turned into Hannukah (sp? like anyone can...) land. Thank you my deeply jewish roomate. (Mmmm....latkas)
* what my mom calls what most would refer to as "snowmen" eg- I love those funny nose people!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Untitled
Ever since I stopped taking English classes, it seems that my unused analytical abilities have decided to seep into other areas of my life. As a result, on any given night the margins of my homework assignments are scrawled with the odd poetic observation or life metaphor. A few nights ago, for example, I thought that spilling my coffee over my agenda pad (which caused all the ink to run) could be considered a metaphor for my work ethic junior year (so consumed with caffeine that I was unable to actually function) or any general break down- when what's keeping you going is preventing you from actually "going" anywhere. When I went to use Wite Out in my lab notebook, I thought about how Wite Out related to perfection- when applied it is even more perfectlty white (and incredibly hypnotizing...Wite Out nails anyone?) than the paper it is covering. The fact that it is too good (or in this case, too white) to be true only brings more attention to the fact that it is a phony covering for a blaring error.
More recently, I desperatly needed a study break but had already exhausted all that facebook and the blogosphere had to offer. It was then I decided to revisit an old friend. Yes folks, for the first time in ages, I played TextTwist.
Once I got over the immidiate rush of senior year nostalgia, I let my mind enter the franticly paced yet, in many ways quite monotonous mode required to play this game successfully. (for those of you not in the loop- TextTwist is an online game inwhich you are given a scrambled six letter word and given 2 minutes to rearrange it into every possible other word you can think of, but none shorter than 3 letters) Obviously I was incredibly rusty, but one thing hadn't changed: I almost always got the six letter word first. When it comes to figuring out the dozens of little three letter word combinations I'm hopeless, but I've never had a problem getting the six letter word almost instantaneously. It was then that I realized that the way I play TextTwist actually relates quite well to the way I play life- rarely concerned with details, I look at the bigger picture. I may cause myself a lot of small setbacks, but I never really fret too much, because I know I always get where I need to be in the end. (Though that attitude mixed with the freedom of college academics is probably not the best way to go about things, in case you were wondering. Perhaps I am a little too laid back?)
I don't really have a larger frame inwhich to analyze this (unless I factor in the Nexusyness of getting an out of the blue phone call from the person who introduced me to the game a few days later) or anything further to derive (though I'm sure it exists) But I guess I have learned one other thing: stop illegibly scribbling on your margins and buy a friggen note book.
More recently, I desperatly needed a study break but had already exhausted all that facebook and the blogosphere had to offer. It was then I decided to revisit an old friend. Yes folks, for the first time in ages, I played TextTwist.
Once I got over the immidiate rush of senior year nostalgia, I let my mind enter the franticly paced yet, in many ways quite monotonous mode required to play this game successfully. (for those of you not in the loop- TextTwist is an online game inwhich you are given a scrambled six letter word and given 2 minutes to rearrange it into every possible other word you can think of, but none shorter than 3 letters) Obviously I was incredibly rusty, but one thing hadn't changed: I almost always got the six letter word first. When it comes to figuring out the dozens of little three letter word combinations I'm hopeless, but I've never had a problem getting the six letter word almost instantaneously. It was then that I realized that the way I play TextTwist actually relates quite well to the way I play life- rarely concerned with details, I look at the bigger picture. I may cause myself a lot of small setbacks, but I never really fret too much, because I know I always get where I need to be in the end. (Though that attitude mixed with the freedom of college academics is probably not the best way to go about things, in case you were wondering. Perhaps I am a little too laid back?)
I don't really have a larger frame inwhich to analyze this (unless I factor in the Nexusyness of getting an out of the blue phone call from the person who introduced me to the game a few days later) or anything further to derive (though I'm sure it exists) But I guess I have learned one other thing: stop illegibly scribbling on your margins and buy a friggen note book.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Crazy Bitch
So today I don't really have any blog worthy thoughts, but I do have the most fantastic story I have heard in ages, made even more fantastic by the fact that it proves that fantastic things like this actually happen:
So my friend was hanging out at her boyfriend's house when all of a sudden, a horrible blizzard struck up, and her parents forbade her to drive home. When they tried to come and get her, the snow was so bad they couldn't even get out of the driveway. Her boyfriends parents were also unable to get home, and the two ended up being left alone in his house...for three days.
Two words: eighteen times.
Don't tell me you've never thought about that....
So my friend was hanging out at her boyfriend's house when all of a sudden, a horrible blizzard struck up, and her parents forbade her to drive home. When they tried to come and get her, the snow was so bad they couldn't even get out of the driveway. Her boyfriends parents were also unable to get home, and the two ended up being left alone in his house...for three days.
Two words: eighteen times.
Don't tell me you've never thought about that....
Monday, November 12, 2007
CERN, You Broke My Heart
So despite my recent infatuation with the physical sciences, my own laziness and the dreaded phrases "this material is not in the book" and "will be on the exam" have turned a once steamy, somewhat secretive affair into outright domestic abuse. And as if that weren't reason enough to give up on this whole relationship all together (in addition to familial disapproval for such unorthodox behavior), I'm starting to wonder what drew me to Organic Chemistry in the first place. That is, I started to wonder, once I met Elementary Particle Physics...
I used to think that Chem could satisfy my needs- lord knows we bother enough with positive and negative psi charges (Psi= greek letter denoting the wave function of an electron) to throw me for a spin (haha...God that was lame. No wonder Chem is hating on me) and I thought that Quantum Chemistry would be enough- all the concepts, no math. But then I got curious. Too curious. I was just browsing the science library, that's all, it's not my fault I did some searching and HAPPENNED upon Quarks and Gluons: A Century Of Elementary Particle Physics. It's not my fault that it was so light to carry and to the point and plainly written, making it what I read in my free time. It's not my fault I want to start taking notes. And then there was the fantasy. You know, they say they're perfectly harmless and healthy, everyone has them. Mine was no different: Me, my JYA, parlaying the Francais in Sweeden at CERN. Nothing wrong with that...
That is, until my poor little heart strings were crushed: "positions open to undergraduates having completed at least 3 years of study with a concentration in Engineering, Physics, or Computer Science." Is this it? Has it really come to this? Will Quantum Chemistry, even though it did give me such joy, still really be able to sate my urges with its orbitals and wave functions, while I know that within the nucleus a dozen other types of unheardof infintesimal particles bounce around at the will of forces that we still just barely understand? In Short: Should I go all out and spend 2 precious years attempting to reconquor my fear (and hatred) of intro Physics, or should I just quit this whole thing while I'm ahead? I could deal with two lovers easily enough...but three? I'm not that good.
I used to think that Chem could satisfy my needs- lord knows we bother enough with positive and negative psi charges (Psi= greek letter denoting the wave function of an electron) to throw me for a spin (haha...God that was lame. No wonder Chem is hating on me) and I thought that Quantum Chemistry would be enough- all the concepts, no math. But then I got curious. Too curious. I was just browsing the science library, that's all, it's not my fault I did some searching and HAPPENNED upon Quarks and Gluons: A Century Of Elementary Particle Physics. It's not my fault that it was so light to carry and to the point and plainly written, making it what I read in my free time. It's not my fault I want to start taking notes. And then there was the fantasy. You know, they say they're perfectly harmless and healthy, everyone has them. Mine was no different: Me, my JYA, parlaying the Francais in Sweeden at CERN. Nothing wrong with that...
That is, until my poor little heart strings were crushed: "positions open to undergraduates having completed at least 3 years of study with a concentration in Engineering, Physics, or Computer Science." Is this it? Has it really come to this? Will Quantum Chemistry, even though it did give me such joy, still really be able to sate my urges with its orbitals and wave functions, while I know that within the nucleus a dozen other types of unheardof infintesimal particles bounce around at the will of forces that we still just barely understand? In Short: Should I go all out and spend 2 precious years attempting to reconquor my fear (and hatred) of intro Physics, or should I just quit this whole thing while I'm ahead? I could deal with two lovers easily enough...but three? I'm not that good.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
What's My Age Again?
In two days, I'm gonna be 18. But when this oncoming milestone first hit me at the start of the week, I was surprised to find that in lieu of being excited, I actually felt a definite sense of regret.
You see, it is a commonly held to be true that at 18 your criminal record is swiped, because you are now a responsible adult who has learned better and no longer liable for your foolish actions as a child. Like it says in this fabulous piece of wisdom (which I actually gleaned from my math text book, of all places) "In Sequences (as often in life) a few indiscretions early on can be overlooked when dealing with the sequence as a whole" But what did I do with my get out of jail free time?* Nothing. Now it hasn't been a total shit show- there was the quasi food fight in 7th grade, the poem/fight the man incident, trying to find every possible dresscode loophole in the book, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting. But seriously, there I was with 18 perfectly good years (I've been well aware of this and intent on using it for as long as I can remember) to do something awesome and not have to deal with the legal implications, and what did I really accomplish? Zilch.
Normally I wouldn't even care about getting arrested for a minor infraction (If it didn't make my parents look bad) but these days with people able to access your math grades in 3rd grade with the click of a mouse you can never be too careful, even if some things are meant to be swiped after a few years. I also doubt everyone else on the ACLU team has a clean record (Cuz seriously, it's the ACLU) but this is my career we're talking about here, plus getting kicked out of college would blow.
So here I am. Two days left of "But I'm young and stupid!" (at least in the eyes of the law and my parents) and I'm thinking: Hmm...If you get arrested so close to/on your 18th birthday, does it still count?
Clearly I'm ready for adulthood.
*I would also like to inform you that there is actually an association of policman that distribute real "get out of jail free cards" for minor infractions and you can get one if you know a cop very well. Who knew?
You see, it is a commonly held to be true that at 18 your criminal record is swiped, because you are now a responsible adult who has learned better and no longer liable for your foolish actions as a child. Like it says in this fabulous piece of wisdom (which I actually gleaned from my math text book, of all places) "In Sequences (as often in life) a few indiscretions early on can be overlooked when dealing with the sequence as a whole" But what did I do with my get out of jail free time?* Nothing. Now it hasn't been a total shit show- there was the quasi food fight in 7th grade, the poem/fight the man incident, trying to find every possible dresscode loophole in the book, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting. But seriously, there I was with 18 perfectly good years (I've been well aware of this and intent on using it for as long as I can remember) to do something awesome and not have to deal with the legal implications, and what did I really accomplish? Zilch.
Normally I wouldn't even care about getting arrested for a minor infraction (If it didn't make my parents look bad) but these days with people able to access your math grades in 3rd grade with the click of a mouse you can never be too careful, even if some things are meant to be swiped after a few years. I also doubt everyone else on the ACLU team has a clean record (Cuz seriously, it's the ACLU) but this is my career we're talking about here, plus getting kicked out of college would blow.
So here I am. Two days left of "But I'm young and stupid!" (at least in the eyes of the law and my parents) and I'm thinking: Hmm...If you get arrested so close to/on your 18th birthday, does it still count?
Clearly I'm ready for adulthood.
*I would also like to inform you that there is actually an association of policman that distribute real "get out of jail free cards" for minor infractions and you can get one if you know a cop very well. Who knew?
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Pwning the Cyclops
One life-changing day in Juicy's sophomore year of highschool, she realized that she could arrive a little late to class and hand in a better quality paper than had she arrived on time. She figured this was at no cost to her except for a lateness report that would probably never come back to haunt her on her report card. This worked well, until Juicy's professor was grading her, remembered the day she showed up to class 15 minutes late, and knocked what should have been a perfect 100 to a 99. "The Man" (via my advisor) spent the rest of highschool trying to knock this attiude out of me. They tried to teach me that teachers actually took it offensivley when I was late to class (even for just five minutes, really that is such bull...) and that I could not live my life leaving things off to the last minute.
They clearly failed.
If bragging about my genius discovery sophomore year cost me my perfect score, then I have a few words for Neptune in hopes of giving me a much needed kick in the ass:
It seems everytime I think I've really dug myself into an academic hole in college, things turn out just fine. As time progresses, the scare tactics wear off, and I don't see any bad results. Now, for example, I haven't gone to monday classes for at least a month, but I have never gotten better grades. That paper I thought was BS that I wrote at 5am? A-. The Astro HW I didn't do the reading for? even better. Math? same. Honestly, the last time I did this well academically was middle school. Eventually, limits get pushed and it becomes easier and easier to get by on doing even less. Whereas in highschool the system probably would have found some way to guilt me into working for them, college has no such process. I nolonger "feel bad" about any of this, so long as it doesn't hurt my grade. (Though it was a little embarassing when my gov professor emailed me to ask me where I'd been all week, and I didn't really have a quality answer.And she might factor in attendance after all. Note to self- go to class) I know that this is supposed to be where finals come in, and that anyone else in college would tell me that I am clearly disillusioning myself, and soon will be confronted with a test worth half my grade that I did little-to-no reading for and have learned my lesson to late. But here's the catch: The final in the class I have done minimal reading for and skipped several times is take home. This means I have a day or two to do the test while using my books, notes, and possibly the internet, just solong as I don't ask anyone else about it. Same for the math midterm I have coming up. Seriously, how am I supposed to know when to buckle down and learn stuff when, for at least half of my major exams, I don't really have to?!?
And then there was today. Today I watched Sex and the City for three hours. THREE HOURS in the middle of the week. Since when is this possible? Where's my frantic rush to get stuff done? Where's the energy-drink-inspired sense of an impending heart attack at any moment? This cannot be right. I know that it has been postulated that everything in the universe tends towards entropy (and by that I mean the opposite of energy) but I am starting to scare myself. I could have read for pleasure, I could have filled out a variety of forms I need to get done at some point, I could have cashed a check or done laundry, I could have done multiple things I enjoy doing that are productive and even non-academic. But no- I just sat there for THREE HOURS. Shame. What will I ever amount to in life if, when I do have free time, I don't do anything with it?
Oh- and as I promised, I must shout out my roomie who has apparently decided to stalk me and read every post since August. My first impression when I heard that was to ask "where do you find that kind of time?" but then I remembered, we're in college.
They clearly failed.
If bragging about my genius discovery sophomore year cost me my perfect score, then I have a few words for Neptune in hopes of giving me a much needed kick in the ass:
It seems everytime I think I've really dug myself into an academic hole in college, things turn out just fine. As time progresses, the scare tactics wear off, and I don't see any bad results. Now, for example, I haven't gone to monday classes for at least a month, but I have never gotten better grades. That paper I thought was BS that I wrote at 5am? A-. The Astro HW I didn't do the reading for? even better. Math? same. Honestly, the last time I did this well academically was middle school. Eventually, limits get pushed and it becomes easier and easier to get by on doing even less. Whereas in highschool the system probably would have found some way to guilt me into working for them, college has no such process. I nolonger "feel bad" about any of this, so long as it doesn't hurt my grade. (Though it was a little embarassing when my gov professor emailed me to ask me where I'd been all week, and I didn't really have a quality answer.And she might factor in attendance after all. Note to self- go to class) I know that this is supposed to be where finals come in, and that anyone else in college would tell me that I am clearly disillusioning myself, and soon will be confronted with a test worth half my grade that I did little-to-no reading for and have learned my lesson to late. But here's the catch: The final in the class I have done minimal reading for and skipped several times is take home. This means I have a day or two to do the test while using my books, notes, and possibly the internet, just solong as I don't ask anyone else about it. Same for the math midterm I have coming up. Seriously, how am I supposed to know when to buckle down and learn stuff when, for at least half of my major exams, I don't really have to?!?
And then there was today. Today I watched Sex and the City for three hours. THREE HOURS in the middle of the week. Since when is this possible? Where's my frantic rush to get stuff done? Where's the energy-drink-inspired sense of an impending heart attack at any moment? This cannot be right. I know that it has been postulated that everything in the universe tends towards entropy (and by that I mean the opposite of energy) but I am starting to scare myself. I could have read for pleasure, I could have filled out a variety of forms I need to get done at some point, I could have cashed a check or done laundry, I could have done multiple things I enjoy doing that are productive and even non-academic. But no- I just sat there for THREE HOURS. Shame. What will I ever amount to in life if, when I do have free time, I don't do anything with it?
Oh- and as I promised, I must shout out my roomie who has apparently decided to stalk me and read every post since August. My first impression when I heard that was to ask "where do you find that kind of time?" but then I remembered, we're in college.
Monday, October 29, 2007
She's Super Freaky!
There are actually quite a few blog worthy thoughts on my mind this week (though expect a lull perhaps, my lap top crapped out on me) but here is the most immidiate, and come to think of it, has an almost Halloween-esque feel:
It has long been established that I am a Nexus of Fate (perhaps you think the joke's old, but seriously, this stuff keeps coming up) which means that the fates work through me to have thier bidding done. This is not always to my benefit, nor are my "nexus powers" really something I can control, but it does mean that my life is chock full of very specfic coincidences, the odd premonition (realized in hindsight of course- so no, I am not really telepathic), and most notably, a wierd connectedness among many things that happen to me. (yeah, I know, it's probably pure psychology, but just flow with me here...) The one example of this that continues to astound me more than others is the Fortune Cookie Application on facebook. Seriously, everytime I use it (save maybe once or twice) it manages to pull out something directly relevant to what ever is on my mind at the time. Hopefully this blog entry will not jinx such a useful Nexus tool, but here is every reading it's ever given me (this strange phenomenon actually promoted me to track its progress) and how it directly related to my life. Really, it's freaky.
(start at the bottom, the start of summer)
"Much of the world is shallow. Roll with it"- Juicy is currently feeling both judged, and extra judgemental for a variety of reasons
"Your friend needs you."- Juicy debates cutting off a friend in need due to excessive clingyness and feelings issues
"Good timing will be critical for you next week"- this was the first day of the week Juicy had 3 major things due, and ended up staying up till 5 to finish a paper
"Don't live with the brakes on"- nothing unless you really stretch it, and even then it was bad advice
"your life will be happy and peaceful"- juicy worries about college
"it is better to look good than feel good''- juicy thinks she needs to lose weight, and is feeling a little down, but is glad to have nice new college clothes
"your money worries are over!"- Juicy ran into another girl who was obsessed with getting ahead in the world financially and seemed to be perpetualy planning ahead (just like juicy's dad wants her to do). despite this pressure from dad, Juicy tries to remain in the moment and not too focused on carreer oriented decision making.
"a warm smile is charicteristic of a generous nature"- Juicy seeks out friends in college
"It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?"- can't remember, possibly another TP thing...
"make that overseas journey"- Juicy debates nagging her parents about going to Canada/Korea, or staying home.
"you will find a new love"- again, can't remember, either TheKaitzer or the kid I met at the party
"Don't be afraid to share power"-Juicy argues with her dad over control of her life
"use your knowledge to achieve immortality"- can't remember at all, was only minimally relevant
"you will recieve an important invitation"- either a week before the party or some other thing I went to over the summer, can't remember exactly, probably the former
"never be too busy to meet someone new"- TheKaitzer is fully considered
"a new outfit will brighten your day"- Juicy was thinking "i should get nicer clothes"
"call an old friend"- Juicy starts to talk to TP kid again, and also got in contact with someone else from her past minimally, can't remember who...
"Indecision can kill a deal"- forget, but it was relevant
"Keep your mouth shut"- trust me, this was good, relevant advice
It has long been established that I am a Nexus of Fate (perhaps you think the joke's old, but seriously, this stuff keeps coming up) which means that the fates work through me to have thier bidding done. This is not always to my benefit, nor are my "nexus powers" really something I can control, but it does mean that my life is chock full of very specfic coincidences, the odd premonition (realized in hindsight of course- so no, I am not really telepathic), and most notably, a wierd connectedness among many things that happen to me. (yeah, I know, it's probably pure psychology, but just flow with me here...) The one example of this that continues to astound me more than others is the Fortune Cookie Application on facebook. Seriously, everytime I use it (save maybe once or twice) it manages to pull out something directly relevant to what ever is on my mind at the time. Hopefully this blog entry will not jinx such a useful Nexus tool, but here is every reading it's ever given me (this strange phenomenon actually promoted me to track its progress) and how it directly related to my life. Really, it's freaky.
(start at the bottom, the start of summer)
"Much of the world is shallow. Roll with it"- Juicy is currently feeling both judged, and extra judgemental for a variety of reasons
"Your friend needs you."- Juicy debates cutting off a friend in need due to excessive clingyness and feelings issues
"Good timing will be critical for you next week"- this was the first day of the week Juicy had 3 major things due, and ended up staying up till 5 to finish a paper
"Don't live with the brakes on"- nothing unless you really stretch it, and even then it was bad advice
"your life will be happy and peaceful"- juicy worries about college
"it is better to look good than feel good''- juicy thinks she needs to lose weight, and is feeling a little down, but is glad to have nice new college clothes
"your money worries are over!"- Juicy ran into another girl who was obsessed with getting ahead in the world financially and seemed to be perpetualy planning ahead (just like juicy's dad wants her to do). despite this pressure from dad, Juicy tries to remain in the moment and not too focused on carreer oriented decision making.
"a warm smile is charicteristic of a generous nature"- Juicy seeks out friends in college
"It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?"- can't remember, possibly another TP thing...
"make that overseas journey"- Juicy debates nagging her parents about going to Canada/Korea, or staying home.
"you will find a new love"- again, can't remember, either TheKaitzer or the kid I met at the party
"Don't be afraid to share power"-Juicy argues with her dad over control of her life
"use your knowledge to achieve immortality"- can't remember at all, was only minimally relevant
"you will recieve an important invitation"- either a week before the party or some other thing I went to over the summer, can't remember exactly, probably the former
"never be too busy to meet someone new"- TheKaitzer is fully considered
"a new outfit will brighten your day"- Juicy was thinking "i should get nicer clothes"
"call an old friend"- Juicy starts to talk to TP kid again, and also got in contact with someone else from her past minimally, can't remember who...
"Indecision can kill a deal"- forget, but it was relevant
"Keep your mouth shut"- trust me, this was good, relevant advice
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Cutting It Close
Just incase y'all were starting to think that college was actually helping me improve at life...
Thursday Evening
5pm- Juicy goes to extra credit chem lecture, and runs into professor.
Juicy: Oh, and our take home quiz is due monday, right?
Prof: No, it's due tomorrow
Juicy: Oh...wow....that was fortuitous....
12:30 am- Juicy actually starts take home quiz (blame this massive procrastination on canoes, full on nudity, school-sponsored mud wrestling, the Red Sox, and a spontaneous conversation that lasted over 2 hours)
1 am-friend calls, Juicy is distracted
2 am- Juicy decides she is too tired too work, and will do this tomorrow morning
Friday Morning:
6:30 am - Juicy's alarm goes off
6:40 am- Juicy's absent roomate's alarm BLARES, forcing her to really wake up, get out of bed, and shut it off.
7 am- Juicy still somehow manages to fall back asleep
7:15 am- the time Juicy told herself she would originally start working
8:15 am- the time juicy actually started working
9 am- the time her class starts.
10:10 am- juicy BSs the last section enough to make it look like she finished the quiz.
10:11 am- Juicy thinks "hmm...it's a good thing I started going to the gym again yesterday" as she, in a great feat of athleticism, SPRINTS down the street to class, covering a 20 minute walk in under ten minutes. (all the while still wearing bright pink pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and the quickest shoes she could find: cutsie brown flats)
10:20 am-(the end of class) Juicy comes to class, turns in her quiz with another clump of students up there, and leaves.
Happy weekend everybody.
Thursday Evening
5pm- Juicy goes to extra credit chem lecture, and runs into professor.
Juicy: Oh, and our take home quiz is due monday, right?
Prof: No, it's due tomorrow
Juicy: Oh...wow....that was fortuitous....
12:30 am- Juicy actually starts take home quiz (blame this massive procrastination on canoes, full on nudity, school-sponsored mud wrestling, the Red Sox, and a spontaneous conversation that lasted over 2 hours)
1 am-friend calls, Juicy is distracted
2 am- Juicy decides she is too tired too work, and will do this tomorrow morning
Friday Morning:
6:30 am - Juicy's alarm goes off
6:40 am- Juicy's absent roomate's alarm BLARES, forcing her to really wake up, get out of bed, and shut it off.
7 am- Juicy still somehow manages to fall back asleep
7:15 am- the time Juicy told herself she would originally start working
8:15 am- the time juicy actually started working
9 am- the time her class starts.
10:10 am- juicy BSs the last section enough to make it look like she finished the quiz.
10:11 am- Juicy thinks "hmm...it's a good thing I started going to the gym again yesterday" as she, in a great feat of athleticism, SPRINTS down the street to class, covering a 20 minute walk in under ten minutes. (all the while still wearing bright pink pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and the quickest shoes she could find: cutsie brown flats)
10:20 am-(the end of class) Juicy comes to class, turns in her quiz with another clump of students up there, and leaves.
Happy weekend everybody.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I feel Stupid and Contagious...
There's something about wearing a Tool T-shirt, even if it does rarely leave the back of my drawer, that always brings me back to my middle school, pseudo-badass roots. And that wasn't all that reminded me today either; oddly enough, it's been a collection of things recently. Today one of my friends was hosting a prospective student, and they jokingly cut me off when I started to talk about all the classes I'd skipped. Seeing OSK's new profile picture proudly sporting a red and black graffitti A (which, by the way, is the symbol for Anarchism, for all of you who did not have the enlightening middle school experience that I did) reminded me of the days when I was just begginning to embrace the full ideology of moral relativism. Even the song playing on my laptop as I went to blog was oddly relevant.
I Used to think that I was only a pseudo-badass, but I'm starting to wonder about that. True, badassism is in the eye of the beholder, and my hallmate was probably being excessivly patronizing when she referred to me as "Oh, Juicy, you rebel you..." (because really, how bad ass can you be for blatanly disobeying a teacher on a daily basis in elementary school for snacking) But then I realized- maybe I'm more of a badass than I thought. Of all my highschool friends, I'm probably the most likely to skip a commitment (then again sleeping because I was up all night working might counteract the badass effect), engage in illegal activities/mischief, convince others to engage in illegal activities/mischief, generally have a very minimal amount of respect for authority, and moreover, not feel particularly bad about any of the consequences of my actions. Plus, I did get Ad Hoc'd (albeit under VERY unusual circumstances, again, counteracting the badass effect). Before I was never too hasty to refer to myself as a badass because I knew both that there were many far more respectably disrespectable than me, and because I am capable of being a very considerate person. But perhaps I am a little more of a badass than I thought in the sense that It's not that I lack rules to live by, I just live by my own rules.
It seems that whenever major change rolls around in my life, or I am faced with having to find a new identity for myself relative to those around me, I tend to cling to these badass roots- regardless of how legitimate they actually were. As I have found myself with increasing collegiate freedom, I find myself thinking "What would the 9th grade Juicy have done?" and "When you graduate, Will you have made yourself from from 4 years ago proud?" The reason I have for not doing a lot of things is because of the possibility that my future self will regret it, but we haven't met her yet, now have we? And who is to say that my future self is any more or less legitimate a guide in life than my former self?
While at the end of the day this resolution may end up being no different than a 30 year old buying a Harley, perhaps it might also help me never get to that point in the first place. I know that one day I will have to face the fact that I am nolonger in middleschool/highschool/college (though I can still hope that grad school and early adulthood is secretly the biggest party of them all) and confess that I have infact "matured" at least a little. (*shudder*) But until then, it's not like I'm gaining any time. It's time to put a new spin on carpe diem, bitches.
Now, about scheduling that haircut....
I Used to think that I was only a pseudo-badass, but I'm starting to wonder about that. True, badassism is in the eye of the beholder, and my hallmate was probably being excessivly patronizing when she referred to me as "Oh, Juicy, you rebel you..." (because really, how bad ass can you be for blatanly disobeying a teacher on a daily basis in elementary school for snacking) But then I realized- maybe I'm more of a badass than I thought. Of all my highschool friends, I'm probably the most likely to skip a commitment (then again sleeping because I was up all night working might counteract the badass effect), engage in illegal activities/mischief, convince others to engage in illegal activities/mischief, generally have a very minimal amount of respect for authority, and moreover, not feel particularly bad about any of the consequences of my actions. Plus, I did get Ad Hoc'd (albeit under VERY unusual circumstances, again, counteracting the badass effect). Before I was never too hasty to refer to myself as a badass because I knew both that there were many far more respectably disrespectable than me, and because I am capable of being a very considerate person. But perhaps I am a little more of a badass than I thought in the sense that It's not that I lack rules to live by, I just live by my own rules.
It seems that whenever major change rolls around in my life, or I am faced with having to find a new identity for myself relative to those around me, I tend to cling to these badass roots- regardless of how legitimate they actually were. As I have found myself with increasing collegiate freedom, I find myself thinking "What would the 9th grade Juicy have done?" and "When you graduate, Will you have made yourself from from 4 years ago proud?" The reason I have for not doing a lot of things is because of the possibility that my future self will regret it, but we haven't met her yet, now have we? And who is to say that my future self is any more or less legitimate a guide in life than my former self?
While at the end of the day this resolution may end up being no different than a 30 year old buying a Harley, perhaps it might also help me never get to that point in the first place. I know that one day I will have to face the fact that I am nolonger in middleschool/highschool/college (though I can still hope that grad school and early adulthood is secretly the biggest party of them all) and confess that I have infact "matured" at least a little. (*shudder*) But until then, it's not like I'm gaining any time. It's time to put a new spin on carpe diem, bitches.
Now, about scheduling that haircut....
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!
Last night, I saw a movie called "Secretary." In this film, a girl is recently released from an institution (where she was placed because she loves to inflict pain on herself) into the real world, and starts cutting again once she has to return to all of her same old family problems. In search of something to do, she gets a job as a secretary for a local lawyer. She stops cutting, only to replace the act with being his sexual submissive. (getting off from doing everything exactly as he tells her, then making mistakes on purpose so he can spank her, etc.) Just when I thought the film couldn't get any more bizarre, this kinky relationship comes to a halt because the lawyer realizes he is actually falling in love with her, and v.v. At the end of the film (WARNING SPOILER) the submissive secretary proves her to love to him up to a point where he cannot just ignore her (it was sorta gross...)and so finally he acknowledges that he loves her, they have a really hot sex scene, then get married. (If you were wondering, this film is rated R, has a shitload of nudity and I've never seen more scenes of a chick jerking off....anyway...) The main point of the ending narration was something about how they both understood each others' love for acknowledging the pain in life, and understanding how the other one enjoyed being loved.
As my friend was crooning over their adorable loving relationship and how incredibly cute it was, I found myself thinking "What the fuck? How could a movie that spends half of its time acting as porn- S&M porn at that- actually have led to a sweet and romantic ending?" (Another line also stood out, one from the tapes the protagonist listened too when she was coming out about being a submissive- "Who said love has to be soft and gentle all the time?" hmm...)
Sex is a biological necessity, but it's good for the species to do it with people they care about because that ensures better chances that the child will be well cared for. On the same note, It has also developed into a medium for showing affection for others, while silmuntaneously becoming a way to overpower and dominate them. And on the other end of the spectrum, lots of people will hava amazing sex with people they don't even know. (which perhaps brings this whole thing full circle, back to biological necessity) This is definitley not the first movie ever made inwhich something that started out as very sexually base actually devleoped into something more, but what exactly is the relationship between sex and, well, relationships?
I guess everyone's different- our class couple back in the day barely french kissed, but perhaps that stored up sexual tension (if it existed) resulted in their fighting on a daily basis? My friend said that when her parents met, they just knew they were meant for each other. They didn't really want to have sex, infact, the only reason they did was to have kids. (Ironically enough, that kid turned out to be sortof a horndog....perhaps its a recessive gene?) Another friend of mine once saw a documentary made about married asexual couples- that's right, couples that are married but have never actually had sex. They're reasoning? One woman said "things are so good now! why risk messing that up?" True, adding a sexual level to a relationship can complicate things, and that's one theory (according to another friend of mine) for why friends don't have sex. Then again, it can also enhance them. I was talking to another friend of mine who described having a deep emotional relationship with someone, in addition to a fantastic physical one, while still just being friends and dating other people. (Though I'd like to see where that relationship ends up in a few years...) When Odysseus was stuck with Calypso, he missed his wife dearly, but the goddess sugessted that they use sex as a medium to develop a positive relationship between them, and it did work up to a point.
As you can see, I don't really have an answer for all of this, Nor do I beleive that one exists that could be applied to the majority of the population, but until then, we may have at least figured out one thing...
About that halloween costume....
As my friend was crooning over their adorable loving relationship and how incredibly cute it was, I found myself thinking "What the fuck? How could a movie that spends half of its time acting as porn- S&M porn at that- actually have led to a sweet and romantic ending?" (Another line also stood out, one from the tapes the protagonist listened too when she was coming out about being a submissive- "Who said love has to be soft and gentle all the time?" hmm...)
Sex is a biological necessity, but it's good for the species to do it with people they care about because that ensures better chances that the child will be well cared for. On the same note, It has also developed into a medium for showing affection for others, while silmuntaneously becoming a way to overpower and dominate them. And on the other end of the spectrum, lots of people will hava amazing sex with people they don't even know. (which perhaps brings this whole thing full circle, back to biological necessity) This is definitley not the first movie ever made inwhich something that started out as very sexually base actually devleoped into something more, but what exactly is the relationship between sex and, well, relationships?
I guess everyone's different- our class couple back in the day barely french kissed, but perhaps that stored up sexual tension (if it existed) resulted in their fighting on a daily basis? My friend said that when her parents met, they just knew they were meant for each other. They didn't really want to have sex, infact, the only reason they did was to have kids. (Ironically enough, that kid turned out to be sortof a horndog....perhaps its a recessive gene?) Another friend of mine once saw a documentary made about married asexual couples- that's right, couples that are married but have never actually had sex. They're reasoning? One woman said "things are so good now! why risk messing that up?" True, adding a sexual level to a relationship can complicate things, and that's one theory (according to another friend of mine) for why friends don't have sex. Then again, it can also enhance them. I was talking to another friend of mine who described having a deep emotional relationship with someone, in addition to a fantastic physical one, while still just being friends and dating other people. (Though I'd like to see where that relationship ends up in a few years...) When Odysseus was stuck with Calypso, he missed his wife dearly, but the goddess sugessted that they use sex as a medium to develop a positive relationship between them, and it did work up to a point.
As you can see, I don't really have an answer for all of this, Nor do I beleive that one exists that could be applied to the majority of the population, but until then, we may have at least figured out one thing...
About that halloween costume....
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
This Is The Day, My Life Will Surely Change?
There's something shitty about wedsnesdays, but today was extra disfunctional. I practically slept through my alarm, and when I saw I had to be leaving at that time inorder to get to class on time, I just thought "being late would suck, I'll just skip." This is a decision I have been making WAY too often lately. It is the third time in a row I have skipped chem class (yes, I know, my poor abused lover...) and factoring in a cancellation and break, I haven't been in that class for over a week. Then I told myself that this was for the better, I would sleep in for both chem and math, thus procuring more time to work on my lab. (this is also the umpteenth time I've skipped math) Since I'm a lazy ass, I only ended up with an extra 20 minutes of time to work on my lab report before I was 1o minutes late to lab. I finished up my shitty ass lab report (cuz I seriously had no idea what was going on for that entire experiement...) and handed it in. After lab, I found out I got a B on my chem midterm (*hides face in absolute SHAME*)* told my math teacher I was sick this morning (which is true but not at all why I didn't come to class) and sat down to blog before I have to deal with a week and a half's worth of undone government reading. Oh, and I'm starving.
I was just thinking to myself what an incapable, disfunctional fuck up I am (but shh! don't tell my parents!) and procrastinating emailing back my old advisor when I realized...wasn't I bitching about this last year? Yeah, I'm in college now, but has anything really changed?
True, senior year did teach me alot about dealing with work (or rather, procrastinating and faking sick) and limits (or rather, pushing them) but am I making the same mistakes all over again? Should I actually start eating breakfast? Or should I feel no shame in being able to get by on showing up to half of my required classes in PJs 10 minutes late if I'm doing just fine in the class?
And then there's my personal life. I still spend the majority of my time working, but being in a different environment I lack the solid group of friends I could fall back on when the weekend rolled around. (Though weekends still manage to be a lot more fun if something good is going on) However, if I ever am really missing the old days of hanging out with people who actually know me (well, one at least) it's only a free bus ride (and maybe some trippy movies and half a bottle of rum) away.
Is this wierd because it's not what I expected, or is it wierd because (unlike many things in life) it's exactly what I was expecting without even realizing it?
*got an A in math though...wtf?
I was just thinking to myself what an incapable, disfunctional fuck up I am (but shh! don't tell my parents!) and procrastinating emailing back my old advisor when I realized...wasn't I bitching about this last year? Yeah, I'm in college now, but has anything really changed?
True, senior year did teach me alot about dealing with work (or rather, procrastinating and faking sick) and limits (or rather, pushing them) but am I making the same mistakes all over again? Should I actually start eating breakfast? Or should I feel no shame in being able to get by on showing up to half of my required classes in PJs 10 minutes late if I'm doing just fine in the class?
And then there's my personal life. I still spend the majority of my time working, but being in a different environment I lack the solid group of friends I could fall back on when the weekend rolled around. (Though weekends still manage to be a lot more fun if something good is going on) However, if I ever am really missing the old days of hanging out with people who actually know me (well, one at least) it's only a free bus ride (and maybe some trippy movies and half a bottle of rum) away.
Is this wierd because it's not what I expected, or is it wierd because (unlike many things in life) it's exactly what I was expecting without even realizing it?
*got an A in math though...wtf?
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Oxi-Nation Reactions!
This is how you know you've been doing too much studying and not nearly enough sleeping:
Juicy [thinking to herself]: Yeah...I wanna be a chem minor, I'm taking orgo chem for fun!
Imaginary Conversational Adversary: You're crazy, you realize this has no relevance to what you want to do with your life? (Which, btw, is become and ACLU lawyer)
Juicy: well....actually, it relates quite well. The electrons in an atom are like people, and it takes energy to free them from the oppressive nucleus!
ICA: But don't electrons enjoy being in a state of least energy, eg bound to the nucleus?
Juicy: Well, perhaps it's because they've never known anything else, like how people in authoritative governement systems will stick to such systems simply because they find security in what they are familiar with, and do not know how to govern themselves. Besides, how do the electrons really know what they want?
ICA: So you're with Plato now? That's elitism.
Juicy: True... ouch, my bad. But the analogy still holds...You have to add energy to compunds to decompose/ionize them and release element's electrons, like how angry energy surrounding a political clevage can polarize a society and also make people more politically active. Once the atoms become free floating ions, they can form compounds different from the ones they were just split from, and then return to a lower energy state. This is similar to the way people en masse (because ionic compounds cannot form on the individual level) will revolt from the status quo, search for a different kind of government, then eventually settle down again once they are happy (If ever). The more electrons there are that attempt to attach themselves to a nucleus (or certain kind of government) the less the energy of the authoritative nucleus will affect them due to shielding. (even though this difference is minimal because they would all be in the same subshell...but bear with me) Thus, people are more likely to choose democratic governements, and the fact that the people have infact chosen this government makes it more accountable to their liberties and desires, just as Locke outlined in his Social Contract theory....Dude, I think we have the workings of a senior thesis!
ICA: *rolls eyes*
This is why I was chuckling to myself on my walk home tonight. Yeah....
Juicy [thinking to herself]: Yeah...I wanna be a chem minor, I'm taking orgo chem for fun!
Imaginary Conversational Adversary: You're crazy, you realize this has no relevance to what you want to do with your life? (Which, btw, is become and ACLU lawyer)
Juicy: well....actually, it relates quite well. The electrons in an atom are like people, and it takes energy to free them from the oppressive nucleus!
ICA: But don't electrons enjoy being in a state of least energy, eg bound to the nucleus?
Juicy: Well, perhaps it's because they've never known anything else, like how people in authoritative governement systems will stick to such systems simply because they find security in what they are familiar with, and do not know how to govern themselves. Besides, how do the electrons really know what they want?
ICA: So you're with Plato now? That's elitism.
Juicy: True... ouch, my bad. But the analogy still holds...You have to add energy to compunds to decompose/ionize them and release element's electrons, like how angry energy surrounding a political clevage can polarize a society and also make people more politically active. Once the atoms become free floating ions, they can form compounds different from the ones they were just split from, and then return to a lower energy state. This is similar to the way people en masse (because ionic compounds cannot form on the individual level) will revolt from the status quo, search for a different kind of government, then eventually settle down again once they are happy (If ever). The more electrons there are that attempt to attach themselves to a nucleus (or certain kind of government) the less the energy of the authoritative nucleus will affect them due to shielding. (even though this difference is minimal because they would all be in the same subshell...but bear with me) Thus, people are more likely to choose democratic governements, and the fact that the people have infact chosen this government makes it more accountable to their liberties and desires, just as Locke outlined in his Social Contract theory....Dude, I think we have the workings of a senior thesis!
ICA: *rolls eyes*
This is why I was chuckling to myself on my walk home tonight. Yeah....
Monday, October 01, 2007
7am: FUCK!!!
Common knowledge is that one does a better job of reflecting on their life and distancing themseleves from their problems after a solid night's sleep. But this is not always the case. After you have spent seven hours behind your own closed, flittering eyes, you start to think about things you never even knew were on your mind. During a normal night, once your mind could rest, it would first turn to the things that give it most pleasure- dreams about life goals, certain people, etc. etc. But when your trail of thought fails to slowly collapse into the random absurdity that is a dream sequence, you find yourself going far more in depth in your concious thought and reflection. You analyze your wishes and anything else on your plate, you run these things through your mind more vividly, and ponder their knitty-gritty realities and unexpected consequences. The issues of your life that you would normally suppress or simply choose not to think about rise to the surface and become mentally verbalized, and (if you're me) attempt to resolve themselves (again if you're me) often in the form of exceptionally clear, organized, eloquent, and detailed letters and/or speeches to major figures in your life. By the time 7am rolls around and the sun comes up, chances are you have already accepted your grim fate for the next day, and have reached a place of extreme zen (also partially brought about by sleep deprivation and its related insanity) and wisdom. True, it has been scientifically hypothesized is that the less sleep we get the more wisdom we lose, and thus turn into zombies. (trust me, I was once assimilated...) but I don't think sleep is always the answer. We all need these long, thoughtful nights and quiet morning moments, especially those of us who are always too lazy to wake up for them.
One thing you start to wonder about is fate, and the fate of your life. You wonder if it's all some great merciful (or serendipitous but initially cruel) "nexusy" coincidence that just as you saw the red digits turn on your bedside clock, the morning bell rang signalling the day off from school. (I screamed Fuck because I was hoping for Tuesday, but this might work even better...minus my lack of abilities due to sleep deprivation, of course. Then again, if it's really all about the sleep 2 nights before the exam, let's face it, I'm fucked.) It might also be another bizarre "nexusy" coincidence that after spending hours drafting a letter to your parents (one in particular) about how you're getting older, namely when it comes to relationships with other people, your roomate decides to celebrate the holiday with an episode of Sex and the City. And as you sit and enjoy your morning cold pizza, you watch an episode, randomly picked, called "Hot Child in the City." And guess what it was about.
One thing you start to wonder about is fate, and the fate of your life. You wonder if it's all some great merciful (or serendipitous but initially cruel) "nexusy" coincidence that just as you saw the red digits turn on your bedside clock, the morning bell rang signalling the day off from school. (I screamed Fuck because I was hoping for Tuesday, but this might work even better...minus my lack of abilities due to sleep deprivation, of course. Then again, if it's really all about the sleep 2 nights before the exam, let's face it, I'm fucked.) It might also be another bizarre "nexusy" coincidence that after spending hours drafting a letter to your parents (one in particular) about how you're getting older, namely when it comes to relationships with other people, your roomate decides to celebrate the holiday with an episode of Sex and the City. And as you sit and enjoy your morning cold pizza, you watch an episode, randomly picked, called "Hot Child in the City." And guess what it was about.
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Most Depressing Thing You Will Read Today (But People Still Keep Watching...)
It all started with ER and General Hospital, then Scrubs, then House, then Grey's Anatomy, and lord knows how many more there are to come. Why are people so obsessed with medical dramas? Frankly, every time I watch one I start to wonder what bizarre tumours and diseases are lurking inside me, undiscovered until a part of my stomach or brain spontaneously combusts, thus turning me into one of the poor patients on the show. I think about death: when will I die? Will I have a heart attack? Will it be nice and quick? Or perhaps I will experience the slow, sometimes pleasant but often terrifying and utterly sickening to those around me death of the self: Alzheimer's. (only of course, to forget about it 5 min later.) Will I ever become a parapalegic? Or maybe I will have a brain tumor, thus forcing me to choose between an operation that could save my life and the risk of losing my entire personality. Is everything I've known and cherished in my entire life really that easy to chemically erase? Everyone thinks "it can't happen to me" but it could all change in a second. Before you know it, you could be a vegetable, or worse...no, I don't even want to think about it.
I guess the general populace watches shows like these because they make their own day to day problems seem trivial in the face of cancer and heart problems. Meanwhile, the personal issues of the characters on the show are far more interesting than everyone else's. There's also probably the ability to relate, to a certain extent, I mean, there are a hell of a lot of doctors and interns around, right? I enjoy these shows to a certain extent, but as you can see from my last paragraph, I can only do so in limited quantities before I start getting depressed, paranoid, and even more of a hypochondriac. Because really, this shit is happenning to thousands of people every day. And what if the brilliant Dr. House wasn't in charge of my case? I could be done.
But steps can be taken to avoid this. (Isn't it funny how everything in life just seems to tie together?) Today I scheduled the second installement of my HPV vaccination, and felt very mature (I refuse to use "grown-up" as an adjective but we all know that's really what I'm implying) because theyre sending me the bill directly and I have to submit it to my insurance provider. Once I figure out exactly how this system works (and maybe once I turn 18, just to be safe privacy-wise) I'll probably take up some new, healthy habits. (And no repeats of last weekend...ever...) Because really, it could happen to you.
And on a final note: if I ever am completley incoherent and strapped to a wheel chair, or stuck in dementia-land, etc. etc. I have one request: Please, put some cyanide in my soup and D-N-FUCKING-R!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess the general populace watches shows like these because they make their own day to day problems seem trivial in the face of cancer and heart problems. Meanwhile, the personal issues of the characters on the show are far more interesting than everyone else's. There's also probably the ability to relate, to a certain extent, I mean, there are a hell of a lot of doctors and interns around, right? I enjoy these shows to a certain extent, but as you can see from my last paragraph, I can only do so in limited quantities before I start getting depressed, paranoid, and even more of a hypochondriac. Because really, this shit is happenning to thousands of people every day. And what if the brilliant Dr. House wasn't in charge of my case? I could be done.
But steps can be taken to avoid this. (Isn't it funny how everything in life just seems to tie together?) Today I scheduled the second installement of my HPV vaccination, and felt very mature (I refuse to use "grown-up" as an adjective but we all know that's really what I'm implying) because theyre sending me the bill directly and I have to submit it to my insurance provider. Once I figure out exactly how this system works (and maybe once I turn 18, just to be safe privacy-wise) I'll probably take up some new, healthy habits. (And no repeats of last weekend...ever...) Because really, it could happen to you.
And on a final note: if I ever am completley incoherent and strapped to a wheel chair, or stuck in dementia-land, etc. etc. I have one request: Please, put some cyanide in my soup and D-N-FUCKING-R!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Let's Talk About Feelings!
Well I'm still recovering from my dysfunctional weekend, and should probably spend this time working, but I was about to make another comment on JVs blog when I realized this was an incredibly worthy (and long, sorry) post within itself.
Can you ever "just be yourself?" do you inevitably have to choose a clique? and when this choice is made, though perhaps not conciously, how much does it affect your own sense of identity?
It's true, having a more normalized sense of identiy will immidiatley give you an easier time socially- you know what your "group" looks like, what they care about, what they do on weekends, and you will probably click with them immidiatley, before you've even realized the subtle social psychology at work.
But what if your sense of identity hasn't fit a predictable stereotype since middle school? What if your group of friends since lord-knows-when contains a beloved, bizarre type of diversity? What if you could see yourself being friends with all sorts of people? In other words, what if you're me?
Let's start at the begginning- middle school. Very predictable group of friends defined simply by the fact that we were all unpopular girls who didn't wear Abercrombie and Fitch or listen to Britney. Me: the artsy girl wearing the skirt over pants or a sparkly top hat (im serious-it was an awesome look) on any given day because she thought it looked cool and didn't really care about what anyone else thought. Sortof punk, but not too hard core aesthetically.
Now I get shipped off to prep school- total culture shock, pushing me to stick even more faithfully to my punk/alternative roots, even if they were not so strong to begin with. (I do still love some of that music though, and I am forever a flaming activist liberal). Needless to say, I was completely antisocial for that year excluding a junior (who was equally crazy she just hadn't discovered it yet, shout outs, you're welcome :) ) a nice sophomore, and my roomate who hated me but warmed up eventually.
My second year of prepschool- all my hardcore-not-giving-a-shit-about-anything attitude somehow magically becomes converted to work ethic, and I get intouch with my inner nerd. Apparently I love school....who knew. Meanwhile, I change dorms and get to know some cooler, more alternative people that I genuinley become friends with. As much as I love my new dorm-mates, I also meet another group of artsy/nerdy newcomers. And this is where I find myself stuck between a similar dichotomy that JV describes: you can have lots of friends, but inevitbly, if its a solid group you're looking for, the choice is inevitble. You will end up spending more time with some people than others. Luckily, it wasn't really a concious decision. The reason I'm not really worried about my current situation (which I'll describe in a minute) is because if prep school taught me one thing: the best things in life just sort of happen. You don't have to worry about who you are friends with, because eventually that choice will be made for you in a completely natural and organic way. And as for the others, they're still some of my besties, so really, don't worry about it.
It is that experience- from lots of random friends, to no friends, to lots of demi-friends, to an arguable clique of close friends, to an arguable clique plus the roadtrip crew, that is currently keeping me sane.
Now, I am in college. I have met lots of people I genuinely like, but I can't really say I have a set group. While most people in my dorm found others they clicked with and created their own social sub group, I tended to click with one or two people per group across multiple cliques, so I still feel like I'm testing the waters socially. (This is made harder by the fact that I can be an incredibly judgemental person, and even though the best friendships-god, I sound like OSK- happen organically, I still put a decent amount of effort into deciding who I want to bother to socialize with. Oh, and I'm naturally self-sufficient, fine with being alone, and untrusting of people, so needless to say adjusting will take me awhile, but I'm ok with that.) Plus my school has so many people I want to get to know and that seem cool, I am depressed at the thought that I could have met my best friend ever but just didn't bump into her.
Now let's take this back to sense of self- I am still figuring this out. during the week, I am a hardcore nerd/dork, but I turn into the biggest rebel/party girl on weekends. (There's social dichotomy #1 right there. Eg- last weekend) At times I can be artsy and creative, other times more intellectual and straightforward. I can be very, very girly at times, and other times not so much at all. (This perpetual hybridization and redefinition of sense of self, if you were wondering, is why I have so many clothes.)
So, When I have found my clique, (if I ever do- I'm in no rush and by no means stressed about it having survived my sophomore year of prep school) will this crazy smorgasbord of personality traits and styles magically fall into line? It is inevitable that some end up getting more stressed than others, but isn't college supposed to be all about personal growth?
And then there are people like my roomate- people who magically seem to immidiatley become best friends with everyone, while silmontaneously creating their own little clique of besties and having the most incredible social networking skills you've ever seen in your life, while also being an incredibly chill, confident, person. Are people like that just "being themselves?" or secretly do they to wonder what's going on and where they fit? Having lived with one I doubt it, but this really isn't relevant to me seeing as I obviosly lack that gene. (Or I do just minus the social-networking and everyone-wants-to-hang-with-me-all-the-time chromosomes)
Here's a final thought: At the very start of middle school my best friend was really preppy. Some days at lunch I sat with her and her friends at one table, and on other days I sat with some of my other friends. One day, one of her friends said to me "Oh my god, can't you just choose one already?" with the bitchiest tone ever. I didn't sit at that table very much after that. Don't be that bitch.
Can you ever "just be yourself?" do you inevitably have to choose a clique? and when this choice is made, though perhaps not conciously, how much does it affect your own sense of identity?
It's true, having a more normalized sense of identiy will immidiatley give you an easier time socially- you know what your "group" looks like, what they care about, what they do on weekends, and you will probably click with them immidiatley, before you've even realized the subtle social psychology at work.
But what if your sense of identity hasn't fit a predictable stereotype since middle school? What if your group of friends since lord-knows-when contains a beloved, bizarre type of diversity? What if you could see yourself being friends with all sorts of people? In other words, what if you're me?
Let's start at the begginning- middle school. Very predictable group of friends defined simply by the fact that we were all unpopular girls who didn't wear Abercrombie and Fitch or listen to Britney. Me: the artsy girl wearing the skirt over pants or a sparkly top hat (im serious-it was an awesome look) on any given day because she thought it looked cool and didn't really care about what anyone else thought. Sortof punk, but not too hard core aesthetically.
Now I get shipped off to prep school- total culture shock, pushing me to stick even more faithfully to my punk/alternative roots, even if they were not so strong to begin with. (I do still love some of that music though, and I am forever a flaming activist liberal). Needless to say, I was completely antisocial for that year excluding a junior (who was equally crazy she just hadn't discovered it yet, shout outs, you're welcome :) ) a nice sophomore, and my roomate who hated me but warmed up eventually.
My second year of prepschool- all my hardcore-not-giving-a-shit-about-anything attitude somehow magically becomes converted to work ethic, and I get intouch with my inner nerd. Apparently I love school....who knew. Meanwhile, I change dorms and get to know some cooler, more alternative people that I genuinley become friends with. As much as I love my new dorm-mates, I also meet another group of artsy/nerdy newcomers. And this is where I find myself stuck between a similar dichotomy that JV describes: you can have lots of friends, but inevitbly, if its a solid group you're looking for, the choice is inevitble. You will end up spending more time with some people than others. Luckily, it wasn't really a concious decision. The reason I'm not really worried about my current situation (which I'll describe in a minute) is because if prep school taught me one thing: the best things in life just sort of happen. You don't have to worry about who you are friends with, because eventually that choice will be made for you in a completely natural and organic way. And as for the others, they're still some of my besties, so really, don't worry about it.
It is that experience- from lots of random friends, to no friends, to lots of demi-friends, to an arguable clique of close friends, to an arguable clique plus the roadtrip crew, that is currently keeping me sane.
Now, I am in college. I have met lots of people I genuinely like, but I can't really say I have a set group. While most people in my dorm found others they clicked with and created their own social sub group, I tended to click with one or two people per group across multiple cliques, so I still feel like I'm testing the waters socially. (This is made harder by the fact that I can be an incredibly judgemental person, and even though the best friendships-god, I sound like OSK- happen organically, I still put a decent amount of effort into deciding who I want to bother to socialize with. Oh, and I'm naturally self-sufficient, fine with being alone, and untrusting of people, so needless to say adjusting will take me awhile, but I'm ok with that.) Plus my school has so many people I want to get to know and that seem cool, I am depressed at the thought that I could have met my best friend ever but just didn't bump into her.
Now let's take this back to sense of self- I am still figuring this out. during the week, I am a hardcore nerd/dork, but I turn into the biggest rebel/party girl on weekends. (There's social dichotomy #1 right there. Eg- last weekend) At times I can be artsy and creative, other times more intellectual and straightforward. I can be very, very girly at times, and other times not so much at all. (This perpetual hybridization and redefinition of sense of self, if you were wondering, is why I have so many clothes.)
So, When I have found my clique, (if I ever do- I'm in no rush and by no means stressed about it having survived my sophomore year of prep school) will this crazy smorgasbord of personality traits and styles magically fall into line? It is inevitable that some end up getting more stressed than others, but isn't college supposed to be all about personal growth?
And then there are people like my roomate- people who magically seem to immidiatley become best friends with everyone, while silmontaneously creating their own little clique of besties and having the most incredible social networking skills you've ever seen in your life, while also being an incredibly chill, confident, person. Are people like that just "being themselves?" or secretly do they to wonder what's going on and where they fit? Having lived with one I doubt it, but this really isn't relevant to me seeing as I obviosly lack that gene. (Or I do just minus the social-networking and everyone-wants-to-hang-with-me-all-the-time chromosomes)
Here's a final thought: At the very start of middle school my best friend was really preppy. Some days at lunch I sat with her and her friends at one table, and on other days I sat with some of my other friends. One day, one of her friends said to me "Oh my god, can't you just choose one already?" with the bitchiest tone ever. I didn't sit at that table very much after that. Don't be that bitch.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Milestones
You know a certain experience was mediocre when you only have 2 remarks to make about it, and one if them is "Yes, I actually got my sweatshirt back!"
that+grass= my weekend
And that's all I have to say 'bout that.
that+grass= my weekend
And that's all I have to say 'bout that.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I Love My School
This is describing an officially sponsored event at my school to "celebrate sexuality in all its forms"
"...After the performances, there is a “parade” to the campus center. The pathway is lined by tables hosted by orgs or non-quad houses that offer everything from condoms and dental dams to lap dances and head shaving. At the end of the route, to cap of the night, is a party in the Carroll Room."
"...After the performances, there is a “parade” to the campus center. The pathway is lined by tables hosted by orgs or non-quad houses that offer everything from condoms and dental dams to lap dances and head shaving. At the end of the route, to cap of the night, is a party in the Carroll Room."
Happy Holidays
Everyone knows that in every lab group there are three types of people: the leader who actually knows what's going on, the drone who helps them measure stuff, and the lazy ass who just continually asks what's going on and copies down the other two's notes. Guess who I usually am. If you haven't figured it out yet, here's a hint: Yesterday was the slumpiest day of my life. Seriously, it was disgusting, even by senior-year of high school standards. If my old advisor knew about this, she would probably drive an hour just so she could yell at me. I showed up to my first class 15 min late in my pajamas, and have never tried harder in my life to stay awake. In my second class I was in the same attire, and actually did fall asleep. I got back to my room at noon, and slept until fucking 4. Woke up, ate my only meal, did somewhat productive things, kept up with TheKaitzer, and did not start my work due to next day till a record 1:30 AM. Clearly, I need some serious motivation to get ahead again. (Once I finish this blog post, of course)
But today, that motivation may just have come. You see, as a young child my parents gave me lots of nice presents, like puzzles, a computer, books, a microscope, and a dress up kit (can you tell?). What I never did get from my hippie mom and buisness-savvy dad was a Chemistry Set. (Which is surprising cuz in kindergarten my favorite activity was pouring water into beakers) But today was Christmas. (Well, technically it was talk-like-a-pirate day, but who cares about that?) Yes, today I got my own little locker in a lab containing about 2 dozen test tubes, a dozen or so beakers, lots of flasks, and scores of other bizarre utensils and containers that I cannot even begin to list. Two whole plastic bins worth!!! They're not "mine" so to speak, but they are all locked in my locker for my personal use. (Hopefully whenever I want, having already entertained several fantasies of sneaking back into the lab in the middle of the night and mixing lord knows what....mwhahah, any ideas?) Looking around the lab is equally exhillirating....lots and lots of bottles labeled with all sorts of compouds just sitting on open shelves waiting to be mixed! One even looked like it was from the 60's, and had this incredibly sexy old-school Poison label on it, complete with all sorts of compounds one could use for antidote. How hot is that!
And not to be outdone by JVert's awesome use of web-cam...
.bmp)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
We Live in MA, Dumbass...
So today I was at the Barnes&Noble waiting around for a taxi (long, boring story) and I saw that they were selling postcards, so I went over to take a gander. It seemed expectable at first: Hartford, Yale U, some Dino museum, but then it hit me...toto, we're not in CT anymore! Seriously, is MA so lame that it has to resort to selling it's little southern neighbor's postcards? This can't be possible...I mean, who cares about Boston, the Smithsonian, a ton of colleges, the Sox, let alone our Nation's epicenter of colonial history, when just a few miles south, there's a government building with a pretty gold dome on top of it!!! ooooh.....! Seriously, none of them were from the 01--- zipcode. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to diss my home state (too much) but everyone knows that Massachusetts is simply 10x cooler...what's with the lamo postcards?
So the rest of this blog post is going to be devoted to all the little things (such as that above) that are worth noting but hardly strong enough to carry the weight of their own title.
For starters- My nexus powers. Now if you don't know who I am you are probably going to think I am crazy for claiming to have powers. Then again, If you don't know me then I don't know you, so I really don't care. Anyway: at one point yesterday I was thinking to myself: what exactly is the formal definition of a focus again? if it is simply the center of a perfect circle tangent to the end of an ellipse, couldn't any number of points serve as foci? I pondered this in the back of my mind for the rest of my day until that evening when I went to do my AST hw. I opened up the text to do my reading, and there it was: an entire box devoted to the geometry of ellipses and foci right under my fingertips. Under 12 hours= an ultimate nexus record. Holy Shit! add into this the fish and the radio station (ask JV) ...maybe soon I can qualify for ESP?
Next- A very wise Verizon commercial once said that what connects us most is our need to be connected. That said, why do people never comment on my blog?!?!?! SERIOUSLY GUYS! Has my uber extensive 4 person readership dwindled even smaller? Or are my posts just so mundane that absolutley NOTHING moves anyone to speak even after I have exhausted my daily minutae for their reading pleasure? Now being in a slump is one thing (eg my wearing my PJs to class 2x this week and skipping GOV...oops...) but this is too much... I need your Juicy feedback! please! I feel so alone in the blogosphere! *bursts into tears*
So the rest of this blog post is going to be devoted to all the little things (such as that above) that are worth noting but hardly strong enough to carry the weight of their own title.
For starters- My nexus powers. Now if you don't know who I am you are probably going to think I am crazy for claiming to have powers. Then again, If you don't know me then I don't know you, so I really don't care. Anyway: at one point yesterday I was thinking to myself: what exactly is the formal definition of a focus again? if it is simply the center of a perfect circle tangent to the end of an ellipse, couldn't any number of points serve as foci? I pondered this in the back of my mind for the rest of my day until that evening when I went to do my AST hw. I opened up the text to do my reading, and there it was: an entire box devoted to the geometry of ellipses and foci right under my fingertips. Under 12 hours= an ultimate nexus record. Holy Shit! add into this the fish and the radio station (ask JV) ...maybe soon I can qualify for ESP?
Next- A very wise Verizon commercial once said that what connects us most is our need to be connected. That said, why do people never comment on my blog?!?!?! SERIOUSLY GUYS! Has my uber extensive 4 person readership dwindled even smaller? Or are my posts just so mundane that absolutley NOTHING moves anyone to speak even after I have exhausted my daily minutae for their reading pleasure? Now being in a slump is one thing (eg my wearing my PJs to class 2x this week and skipping GOV...oops...) but this is too much... I need your Juicy feedback! please! I feel so alone in the blogosphere! *bursts into tears*
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Questioning My Sexual Orientation
This blog post is dedicated to any little soon-to-be humanities major who ever had a nerdgasm reading their Chemistry text book.
Oh, you didn't want to admit it at first, I know. The library was quiet and lonely. You think: this isn't too abnormal, these things happen to everyone. You'll tell yourself: It doesn't say anything about my character, I am a Humanities person, really. I'm just a Humanities person who happenned to take the introductory level Chemistry class, followed by some classes in OChem, that's all. It's just for 3 semesters, just for fun on the side. Nothing serious. You believed yourself too, but it didn't stop there did it? No, you couldn't control it, could you? Before you know it, you hear there's only one more mild deviation that seperates you from a Quantum Chemistry class. Just one, why not, right? You have plenty of time for English and History, and you know you love them more. And that's what really matters, right? It's not a big deal.
But then one day you'll wake up: hair dishevelled, text book beneath you, stains on your sheets, (from highlighting, of course) and you'll have to look at yourself in the mirror and finally, honestly, admit to yourself: "Hello. My name is Juicy... and I have a minor in Chemistry."
Because let's face it: Everyone knows that Quantum Mechanics is just too fucking sexy.
Oh, you didn't want to admit it at first, I know. The library was quiet and lonely. You think: this isn't too abnormal, these things happen to everyone. You'll tell yourself: It doesn't say anything about my character, I am a Humanities person, really. I'm just a Humanities person who happenned to take the introductory level Chemistry class, followed by some classes in OChem, that's all. It's just for 3 semesters, just for fun on the side. Nothing serious. You believed yourself too, but it didn't stop there did it? No, you couldn't control it, could you? Before you know it, you hear there's only one more mild deviation that seperates you from a Quantum Chemistry class. Just one, why not, right? You have plenty of time for English and History, and you know you love them more. And that's what really matters, right? It's not a big deal.
But then one day you'll wake up: hair dishevelled, text book beneath you, stains on your sheets, (from highlighting, of course) and you'll have to look at yourself in the mirror and finally, honestly, admit to yourself: "Hello. My name is Juicy... and I have a minor in Chemistry."
Because let's face it: Everyone knows that Quantum Mechanics is just too fucking sexy.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Musings From The Morning After
The sky
is grey and expansive.
My soul
is similarly so:
Empty,
filled with fluff.
But at least it is nice and cool here
all the time.
My sigh reverberates on the winds
as I wonder what
has become of my friends.
~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever woken up and wondered what the hell you're doing?
is grey and expansive.
My soul
is similarly so:
Empty,
filled with fluff.
But at least it is nice and cool here
all the time.
My sigh reverberates on the winds
as I wonder what
has become of my friends.
~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever woken up and wondered what the hell you're doing?
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Wait...I Actually Have to Learn Stuff?
So I was just raising my sleepy head off of its comfy resting place (my astronomy text book) when I thought to myself: How many times have I done this? Eyes closed, open highlighter in hand, a variety of different soft bound text books beneath, snoozing away for a few minutes over the course of 3 or so years of daily reading assignments. Is this any different from high school?
When we come to college, we think we are going to celebrate the best four years of our lives and party our newly independent asses off. This is by no means untrue, but we often forget that there is also a tremendous amount of work invovled, and ignore our parents' frequent reminders of their own collegiate struggles. (After all, I went to boarding school, didn't I? I can handle this...) It is only until we walk into a class (I dunno, say, Gov 224) where fellow freshman are far and few and where we are handed a piece of paper telling us that our entire grade will be based off of an oral project, an exam, and two 5-7 page papers that we start to think "Oh...Fuck."
But I am going to keep telling myself I can do this (after all, astro seems like a breeze). And like I said before, It is by no means untrue that I do plan on celebrating the last fleeting years of my youth. It's all about figuring out what's necessary, a skill that, sadly enough, can really only come with time and experience (If I ever learn, at that).
So is this really any different than highschool? I'd like to think so. Though once again I have found myself feeling studious and a little on the outside socially, I've also found myself in underwear and bunny ears drunkenly screaming at convocation, and running to hide shot glasses in my dresser in a pitch black room after the pseudo-lesbian dance party was broken up by rumors of a roaming Area Coordinator. So yes, regardless of how much I actually like my new found friends or how much time I spend passed out over a text book, I would like to think that this will sure as hell be better than high school. And if I learned anything from my Astronomy reading today, I learned that if the entire history of the universe was condensed into a calandar, I was born about .05 seconds ago, and I'll have graduated in about another 1/90 of a second. So even if college isn't all it was dreamed up to be, in the big picture, it's not the end of the Universe.
When we come to college, we think we are going to celebrate the best four years of our lives and party our newly independent asses off. This is by no means untrue, but we often forget that there is also a tremendous amount of work invovled, and ignore our parents' frequent reminders of their own collegiate struggles. (After all, I went to boarding school, didn't I? I can handle this...) It is only until we walk into a class (I dunno, say, Gov 224) where fellow freshman are far and few and where we are handed a piece of paper telling us that our entire grade will be based off of an oral project, an exam, and two 5-7 page papers that we start to think "Oh...Fuck."
But I am going to keep telling myself I can do this (after all, astro seems like a breeze). And like I said before, It is by no means untrue that I do plan on celebrating the last fleeting years of my youth. It's all about figuring out what's necessary, a skill that, sadly enough, can really only come with time and experience (If I ever learn, at that).
So is this really any different than highschool? I'd like to think so. Though once again I have found myself feeling studious and a little on the outside socially, I've also found myself in underwear and bunny ears drunkenly screaming at convocation, and running to hide shot glasses in my dresser in a pitch black room after the pseudo-lesbian dance party was broken up by rumors of a roaming Area Coordinator. So yes, regardless of how much I actually like my new found friends or how much time I spend passed out over a text book, I would like to think that this will sure as hell be better than high school. And if I learned anything from my Astronomy reading today, I learned that if the entire history of the universe was condensed into a calandar, I was born about .05 seconds ago, and I'll have graduated in about another 1/90 of a second. So even if college isn't all it was dreamed up to be, in the big picture, it's not the end of the Universe.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Hello, My Name is Juicy!
...And welcome to college. Well, technically It's more like pre-college, or to be more specific, preorientation. (if you were wondering, it sucks) The table I was put in by fortunate mishap ended up actually meshing well, so woohoo I have people to sit at the lunch table with. But what I miss ridiculously are my old friends. Like, the kind I don't have to retell my entire (somehwat uninteresting) life story to when we talk, or with whom I can comfortably make Asian jokes. Shout outs to you allllllll.
I of course cannot help but be reminded of my first (horribly awkward and lonely) year at boarding school. If it weren't for having gone through that and knowing that I'll find my peeps eventually (even if it does take 2 years) I would probably be scared shitless right now. That, or actually bothering to be social and checking out the people who live across the hall from me. But hey, I've got a year, right?
So what exactly is it like here? Well on my first night the older students and us played a huge game of never have I ever. So while I still don't know half of the people's names, I can tell you who's been walked in doing it up the ass by their parents, (on a volvo, to be more specific) who's taken ecstasy, and who's had a threesome. Soon it will be Convocation, when we all wear as little as possible (saran wrap skirt anyone? total nudity is also a possiblity) and get drunk and scream while being spoken to by the faculty. So now I will also be able to tell you who's got a nice bod and who doesn't, but still not be able to remember half their names. Welcome to a women's college?
I of course cannot help but be reminded of my first (horribly awkward and lonely) year at boarding school. If it weren't for having gone through that and knowing that I'll find my peeps eventually (even if it does take 2 years) I would probably be scared shitless right now. That, or actually bothering to be social and checking out the people who live across the hall from me. But hey, I've got a year, right?
So what exactly is it like here? Well on my first night the older students and us played a huge game of never have I ever. So while I still don't know half of the people's names, I can tell you who's been walked in doing it up the ass by their parents, (on a volvo, to be more specific) who's taken ecstasy, and who's had a threesome. Soon it will be Convocation, when we all wear as little as possible (saran wrap skirt anyone? total nudity is also a possiblity) and get drunk and scream while being spoken to by the faculty. So now I will also be able to tell you who's got a nice bod and who doesn't, but still not be able to remember half their names. Welcome to a women's college?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Eww, It's August
About a year ago this time, I wrote a blog entry about how August is the most pointless month ever. I continue to beleive that. Seriously, what awesome thing ever happens in August??? Perhaps I'm just socially deprived in having to keep up with a group of friends that branched off into about 4 different cliques and who have been busy all week ( : ( ) but perhaps I'm not alone. And yeah, PR will be fun, but other than that it seems all I do is go on the boat with dad (mehh), work, and pack for college. I'm going on vacation in a week, which further deprives me of the opportunity to see my friends though spending quality time with the Madre should be interesting, and then I'm back here and off to college in under a week. Shit. I know this is a very pointless blog entry, but like I said, it's fucking August, so I really have nothing better to do.
Monday, August 06, 2007
"How to Spot a Manwhore" and Other Juicy Tidbits...
Well, it seems Juicy has come a a long way from her double hitter weekend. Not too far in the long run, but far enough to keep her summer interesting, and to pass on some tidbits of juicy advice to all you Mango Addicts out there. (Or just those of you with nothing better to do on the internet...)
1. How to spot a manwhore:
A. all of his facebook action is from girls
B. ok, that's all i've got for now, but it does the trick.
2. When a guy is drunk he will be slightly more prone to sexual activity. This fact will be verbally expressed many, many, many times.
3. If a guy gets so drunk he makes a complete fool of himself over your hotness, there is the slight possibility he will not call back once his friends tell him everything they will never let him live down.
4. A TRUE man will have the balls to call back anyway. Bitch.
5. When a guy doesn't call you back for 1-2 weeks but then does when there is an approaching social event involving the both of you, he is doing this in order to make things not be awkward and leave a good impression. This is all in the hopes of ass getting.
6. How to spot a manwhore who does not call you back: See section 1, then factor in a sentance involving the words "sorry" "forgot" "call" and "you." Bitch.
7. Phone tag can be very satisfying. One has the joy of being called back, but without the stress that comes from talking on the phone with people you want to impress. However, if this safety device is abused, interest will eventually fade. (unless he really, really likes you. see #10 for more info)
8. When a guy tells you about all the bad luck he's had with women and how he is often taken advantage of because he is a nice guy, this is actually a cleverly disguised ass getting tactic known as "playing the sensitive card."
9.If a guy calls you 1-3 times a day, everyday, and sometimes more often when you don't pick up (AKA more frequently than your own father) he either A.) really, really likes you; B.) has an obsessive personality; or, C.) is really really bored. Only time will tell.
10. If a guy with whom you have been slightly flirtatious hooks up with "a really hot 25 year old" within 24 hours of hearing you hooked up with someone else, he has a motive... we're not exactly sure what it is yet, but it's there...we think...
11. When you give a guy your number out of the blue, even with merely friendly intentions, he will try to use this to get him ass.
12. If a guy with whom you have not spoken in years calls you at 2am and blatanly propositions you....No, I think you all can figure that one out for yourselves. I Hope.
So that's pretty much my summer in a nutshell. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. ; )
1. How to spot a manwhore:
A. all of his facebook action is from girls
B. ok, that's all i've got for now, but it does the trick.
2. When a guy is drunk he will be slightly more prone to sexual activity. This fact will be verbally expressed many, many, many times.
3. If a guy gets so drunk he makes a complete fool of himself over your hotness, there is the slight possibility he will not call back once his friends tell him everything they will never let him live down.
4. A TRUE man will have the balls to call back anyway. Bitch.
5. When a guy doesn't call you back for 1-2 weeks but then does when there is an approaching social event involving the both of you, he is doing this in order to make things not be awkward and leave a good impression. This is all in the hopes of ass getting.
6. How to spot a manwhore who does not call you back: See section 1, then factor in a sentance involving the words "sorry" "forgot" "call" and "you." Bitch.
7. Phone tag can be very satisfying. One has the joy of being called back, but without the stress that comes from talking on the phone with people you want to impress. However, if this safety device is abused, interest will eventually fade. (unless he really, really likes you. see #10 for more info)
8. When a guy tells you about all the bad luck he's had with women and how he is often taken advantage of because he is a nice guy, this is actually a cleverly disguised ass getting tactic known as "playing the sensitive card."
9.If a guy calls you 1-3 times a day, everyday, and sometimes more often when you don't pick up (AKA more frequently than your own father) he either A.) really, really likes you; B.) has an obsessive personality; or, C.) is really really bored. Only time will tell.
10. If a guy with whom you have been slightly flirtatious hooks up with "a really hot 25 year old" within 24 hours of hearing you hooked up with someone else, he has a motive... we're not exactly sure what it is yet, but it's there...we think...
11. When you give a guy your number out of the blue, even with merely friendly intentions, he will try to use this to get him ass.
12. If a guy with whom you have not spoken in years calls you at 2am and blatanly propositions you....No, I think you all can figure that one out for yourselves. I Hope.
So that's pretty much my summer in a nutshell. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. ; )
Saturday, July 28, 2007
The Time of Your Life
I am starting college in about a month, and turning 18 somehwhat shortly after. I will spend (hopefully) 4 years in college partying it up with my friends and travelling to exotic places. After that I will go to law school, continue to party though probably a little less, and graduate (again, hopefully) when I'm about 24. After that its a few years of the party that is "your early 20s." Sounds like I have a great life ahead of me, right? But what comes after that? A solid job behind a desk, marriage, children, even if I don't everyone else will...It's all down hill from there! Everything we've been waiting for for so long, climaxing, but then slowly sloping downward. This is it kiddies, the best effing years of our lives, right infront of us. And After that, before you know it's even hit you, it's nothing but down hill from there. Enjoy it while you can.
18 means only two years left of teenagerdom, and then bam, you're an adult. Holy shit.
18 means only two years left of teenagerdom, and then bam, you're an adult. Holy shit.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Happy Birthday Mango Flavored Addiction!
Yup...Believe it or not, Mango Flavored Addiction is one year old. (Awww!) One year (and one day...oops, sorry) ago, Juicy Got Bored and Got a Blog. I don't know what exactly to give a blog for its birthday, (maybe a makeover, or perhaps some better content?) But I'm sure I'll think of something. In the Spirit of OSKs post, it only seems fitting that I use this post to reflect on all the changes that have taken place since MFA came to be...
1. The most obvious change over the past year is the type of content. MFA has seen both long, serious pieces in the past, short silly pieces more focused towards the blog buddies, and some more recent and more personal pieces. I don't really know what I would like to have more focus on, but chances are I will change my mind once I decide it anyway, so oh well.
2. My relationship with the blog buddies: around this time one year ago, DrK and I had a variety of strange late-nite induced AIM convos, Gavrich and I chatted casually, OSK was more a friend of a friend (or maybe not...can't really remember), and I didn't think I would ever talk to Vertical ever again. We also all used to check our blogs and comment religiously. (I miss that!)Now, DrK and I have slightly more sane conversations, Gavrich and I are and fellow travel buddies (yes, he went to senior parties!), OSK is one of my closest friends, as is Vertical whom I will hopefully keep up with even in college. Whod'a thunk it.
3. The Blog Buddies themselves: around this time one year ago, Drk was still a manwhore, but a far more naive and inexperienced one. It was his ex that liked him back then, now thanks to her, well, she's his ex, but they are still awesome friends. Gavrich would have probably gasped if someone told him that he would be considering drinking at senior parties, or "letting lose" a little in college. (PS I'm still glad he didn't) OSK has a whole blog entry about how he's changed. (snap snap for the darker side) Vertical was a nice (?), naive and inexperienced little line who was still dealing with all the sad things that happen to people who are nice, naive and inexperienced, while eating a lot of his lunches by himself. In one year, he also found himself in the 6 person clique, being accessory raped by like 10 girls, and getting smashed at senior parties. (at which he and gavrich looked like total pimps for escorting up 3 very lovely ladies...if I do say so myself...) Whoaza.
4. Jay-Z
5. My Self: Yes, the Juicy one herself has also experienced many changes over the past year. At the beginning of my blogging career, I was still healing from Junior year's exertions, but still had a generally over achieving attitude that flowed a little into senior year...before I found myself in a 6 person clique, would rather chill in OSKs basement than do work (having sex, of course), got tortured, got bad grades, got into major disciplinary trouble, hated life, got emo. Who knew. Now I'm not really sure how much of an overachiever/happy person I am/ever was, but I guess we'll find out soon enough in college.
6. I gave TP guy a shot, plus I might be a relationship person after all...what?
7. I'm going to a women's college, who the hell saw that coming...
Anyway, that is my short and sweet reflection on my Juicy Life and this Juicy Blog in the past year. Hope you Mango Addicts enjoyed it as much as I did, see you next time. (maybe with a nicer layout)
1. The most obvious change over the past year is the type of content. MFA has seen both long, serious pieces in the past, short silly pieces more focused towards the blog buddies, and some more recent and more personal pieces. I don't really know what I would like to have more focus on, but chances are I will change my mind once I decide it anyway, so oh well.
2. My relationship with the blog buddies: around this time one year ago, DrK and I had a variety of strange late-nite induced AIM convos, Gavrich and I chatted casually, OSK was more a friend of a friend (or maybe not...can't really remember), and I didn't think I would ever talk to Vertical ever again. We also all used to check our blogs and comment religiously. (I miss that!)Now, DrK and I have slightly more sane conversations, Gavrich and I are and fellow travel buddies (yes, he went to senior parties!), OSK is one of my closest friends, as is Vertical whom I will hopefully keep up with even in college. Whod'a thunk it.
3. The Blog Buddies themselves: around this time one year ago, Drk was still a manwhore, but a far more naive and inexperienced one. It was his ex that liked him back then, now thanks to her, well, she's his ex, but they are still awesome friends. Gavrich would have probably gasped if someone told him that he would be considering drinking at senior parties, or "letting lose" a little in college. (PS I'm still glad he didn't) OSK has a whole blog entry about how he's changed. (snap snap for the darker side) Vertical was a nice (?), naive and inexperienced little line who was still dealing with all the sad things that happen to people who are nice, naive and inexperienced, while eating a lot of his lunches by himself. In one year, he also found himself in the 6 person clique, being accessory raped by like 10 girls, and getting smashed at senior parties. (at which he and gavrich looked like total pimps for escorting up 3 very lovely ladies...if I do say so myself...) Whoaza.
4. Jay-Z
5. My Self: Yes, the Juicy one herself has also experienced many changes over the past year. At the beginning of my blogging career, I was still healing from Junior year's exertions, but still had a generally over achieving attitude that flowed a little into senior year...before I found myself in a 6 person clique, would rather chill in OSKs basement than do work (having sex, of course), got tortured, got bad grades, got into major disciplinary trouble, hated life, got emo. Who knew. Now I'm not really sure how much of an overachiever/happy person I am/ever was, but I guess we'll find out soon enough in college.
6. I gave TP guy a shot, plus I might be a relationship person after all...what?
7. I'm going to a women's college, who the hell saw that coming...
Anyway, that is my short and sweet reflection on my Juicy Life and this Juicy Blog in the past year. Hope you Mango Addicts enjoyed it as much as I did, see you next time. (maybe with a nicer layout)
Monday, June 18, 2007
The Road Trip: Part Deux...
So it seems every summer/major break we try to plan one of these and every summer/major break, it fails. But perhaps this time will be different? who knows...anyway, the Klingon and I have similar feelings about wanting to get out and about this summer, so here are some ideas:
* Visit me in Stratford (I still want to have a beach bonfire and burn all my papers)
*Spend the day in NYC (parents might want something more speciific...baseball game perhaps? random show? amusement park? filming of TV show?)
*six flags
*Ye Olde Swimming Hole
*Mission of Love: NY Style
*Visit Moose
*Visit Anne
*Visit Julie
*Visit Young (hey it was worth a shot...)
*Visit all of our friends in a giant circle
*Hang out on my dads (now) humungous boat
*Visit the eldest Z brother (and party it up)
*Go to Boston (see bball game/yell at certain admissions offices)
*Go to Rhode Island (see above, and then mooch off of OSK's having a house there)
*Use the laptop to have trek marathons in strange and unusual locations...(ok yeah that idea sucked...help me out here!)
* Visit me in Stratford (I still want to have a beach bonfire and burn all my papers)
*Spend the day in NYC (parents might want something more speciific...baseball game perhaps? random show? amusement park? filming of TV show?)
*six flags
*Ye Olde Swimming Hole
*Mission of Love: NY Style
*Visit Moose
*Visit Anne
*Visit Julie
*Visit Young (hey it was worth a shot...)
*Visit all of our friends in a giant circle
*Hang out on my dads (now) humungous boat
*Visit the eldest Z brother (and party it up)
*Go to Boston (see bball game/yell at certain admissions offices)
*Go to Rhode Island (see above, and then mooch off of OSK's having a house there)
*Use the laptop to have trek marathons in strange and unusual locations...(ok yeah that idea sucked...help me out here!)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A Time for Deep Reflection...
Seriously....so first my mom gives me a relatively new perspective on myself by calling me lazy (ok maybe she was right there...) and unhelpful, and accusing me of having an excessivley nonchalant/laid back attitude. In short, she made me feel like the spoiled brat I have always feared becoming. Glad to know your so happy with me mom. She also asked "where's the spark? the joie de vivre?" but then again, that's something i've been asking myself for awhile...maybe it'll creep back up in college, maybe not. I hope so, but of not whatever.... I should probably do more about this...but that brings us back to square one. I also have a strange aversion to obviously trying to impress people because I feel like a goody two shoes. If I'm ever doing something nice, one should generally avoid complimenting me. So now even if I wanted to be more "helpful" I would feel wierd doing it. Anyway, so as if I'm not already feeling mehh-enough about myself, TP kid starts directly hitting on me and I full frontal Spazz. Seriously, ask DrK, he said I was acting like a little girl. So while I'm worrying about the quality of person I am, we can also wonder why I am obviously severly undeveloped in certain areas and have the emotional maturity of an 8 year-old. Once we've figured that out, I can ask the doctor to take another look at the strange lump on my neck that my mom keeps bugging me about (just when I had once and for all overcome my infamous cancer-based hypochondria) and wonder why my left ring finger now cramps up whenever I type. Perhaps I should try meditation...
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Juicy Update
So once again today I found myself on a severly delayed train heading south from spending Friday night with the blog buddies, (for those of you unaware, we all live in the same tiny ass state but I live about an hour away. Said tiny ass state has horrible public transportation.) and spent about five hours trying to get home by train when the drive is only a little over and hour. (yeah, really gotta get on that whole license thing and yes I can drive dammit!) Though spending an entire day travelling (or worse: waiting to travel) is not the best way to pass time, I did find myself in the company of some interesting strangers. Namely: Jeff, a gay bartender at a club I know of who also works with autistic children. He just broke up with his boyfriend, so we talked about feelings. It's nice to know I'm not the only person who thinks they had the worst year ever. The night before this encounter, while I was watching an episode of That 70s Show in which Eric and Donna break up but still go on a date together, Jeff and his former partener John were actually doing this. The evening resulted in him getting flowers thrown at him and a drunken argument, but hey, at least they did it in comfy millenium sneakers instead of clogs. I mean really, I love the 70s....but clogs?
I also met a flight attendant and an odd Auntie and her nephew (both very nice and interesting people) and saw someone who looked exaclty like my middle school crush from behind. (Seriously, they had the same hair and walk and everything...I stopped and stared for like 5 min until he turned around and turned out be like 20 something)
If the scariest thing DrK has ever seen is me driving, then the second scariest thing he will ever see is probably me being put in a position of responsibility. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Juicy got a job. Well...she almost got a job. She was going to be hired by a pizza place (i kid you not) 5 min away from her house and it sounded great, but they only wanted her on weekends and her dad apparently needs her on the boat. Mehh, there goes that offer. I want a real job dammit, and if experience has taught me anything these are not easy to come by. The hunt continues...
In other news, the universe has been freakishly responsive to my previous blog post in the form of TP guy, except I will probably never see him again. Mission of Love to NY, anyone? (except not cuz that would be creepy, even for me and I'm the one going there...) Oh, and I'm also slowly but surley redecorating my room and have become hooked on Star Trek. Yes, I said it. After such exposure, Resistance was Futile. (But I still reserve the right to mock you all for knowing wayyyy too much about those Shows/Movies/Mini Series/ that Media Enterprise, even if it is cool.)
Random Shout outs to Brandy. (who will probably never read this) Good luck with your stalker. You have a cool name which vertical should sing to you about, (Brandy! You're a fine girl! What a good wife you would be...But my life, my love, and my Lady is the SEAAAA!) and document so I can laugh at it. To conclude this evening's update of events, there is a slight risk of me being a horrible person, but other than that the weather is looking good for the next few days. Over and Out.
I also met a flight attendant and an odd Auntie and her nephew (both very nice and interesting people) and saw someone who looked exaclty like my middle school crush from behind. (Seriously, they had the same hair and walk and everything...I stopped and stared for like 5 min until he turned around and turned out be like 20 something)
If the scariest thing DrK has ever seen is me driving, then the second scariest thing he will ever see is probably me being put in a position of responsibility. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Juicy got a job. Well...she almost got a job. She was going to be hired by a pizza place (i kid you not) 5 min away from her house and it sounded great, but they only wanted her on weekends and her dad apparently needs her on the boat. Mehh, there goes that offer. I want a real job dammit, and if experience has taught me anything these are not easy to come by. The hunt continues...
In other news, the universe has been freakishly responsive to my previous blog post in the form of TP guy, except I will probably never see him again. Mission of Love to NY, anyone? (except not cuz that would be creepy, even for me and I'm the one going there...) Oh, and I'm also slowly but surley redecorating my room and have become hooked on Star Trek. Yes, I said it. After such exposure, Resistance was Futile. (But I still reserve the right to mock you all for knowing wayyyy too much about those Shows/Movies/Mini Series/ that Media Enterprise, even if it is cool.)
Random Shout outs to Brandy. (who will probably never read this) Good luck with your stalker. You have a cool name which vertical should sing to you about, (Brandy! You're a fine girl! What a good wife you would be...But my life, my love, and my Lady is the SEAAAA!) and document so I can laugh at it. To conclude this evening's update of events, there is a slight risk of me being a horrible person, but other than that the weather is looking good for the next few days. Over and Out.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Happy Birthday Little Blonde One!!!
OK, so I was unable to get my very good friend a birthday present and cannot do something in person because she lives in Canadia, thus, I have dedicated a blog post to her. Happy Birthday Randi. I think you're turning 16- enjoy the most overrated year of your life (at least that's what it was for me, I'm sure yours will be alot better) and your pretty blonde hair.
Since I talk about feelings and emo-ness with Randi a lot, It is only fitting that this blog post do the same. For the past couple of days, I have had the strongest urge to have a huge chic-flickathon. Love Actually, the American Pies (esp #2! yes, it is a chic flick), maybe some Amelie or Accepted, (wow, lots of As there...) all watched cuddled up on the couch with lots of chocolate and a box of tissues. Sadly (or maybe fortuitously?) there is no nearby functioning DVD player so instead I settled for VH1's "40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs" (Cuz I can't fight this feeling anymore! Yes I've forgotten what I started fighting for!) which managed to mock all of the emo out of me. You see, society does not look happily on honest, strong emotions. When someone comes on very strong, it's often viewed as creepy, or a load of bull shit to just get the other person in bed. (this is especially true if the person coming on is a guy) From my experience, caution usually pays off, as the emo-ness is usually either the latter, or the result of little other emotional experience. (then again, that also just goes to show you what little experience I've had. Blogging Rule #3- If my advice fucks you over, it's not my fault. You have my condolences.) As time goes on, the more experienced people become, the more they see dating and relationships as more of a game than a deep emotional pursuit. (the epitome of this being Sex And the City) Everyone at least partially wants the honest emo that is so often shunned, but everyone is groomed to be excesssivly cautious and not get hurt. It is here where I am tempted to divide the world into a bipolar spectrum- Relationship people (who are more open and intouch with their inner emo, often searching for just a few deep relationships) and Non-Relationship people (who more prefer a variety of shorter, less meaningful affairs with far less emo). NR leaning people are not necessarily more eexperienced or in denial, they just have other prorities, or know better than to look for a deep relationship at a that point in time. Ok yeah no shit Juicy that's not rocket science, but I'm getting to my point. (and I never really liked physics anyway...) My point is that I always thought I leaned more towards the non-relationship side of the spectrum, and I am sure that after more cyncial life experience that is where I will be (or hopefully at some point in college cuz I really don't want to waste my precious college years in a serious relationship) but the more I think about it, yearn for my fav chic flicks, and compare myself to others, the more I am starting to think I might lean more towards the relationship side of the spectrum after all. That isn't to say that a one night stand is totally off limits (cuz that was pretty satisfying) but I guess if there was more on the plate id take that too.
You may wonder why it took Juicy so long to come out of the closet about such a simple matter, but like I said, society frowns on honest, strong emotions. Not to mention the more desperate for love you are, the far easier it is for people to take advantage of you. (I'm referencing all those horrible match.com adds, BS psychics, and internet predators) Ever since I was little, my mom told me a guy will say anything to get a girl in bed, and sadly enough i've rarely met people that have proven otherwise. If you just wanna screw, tell me and save me the trouble, please. That's probably how I can justify calling a movie like American Pie 2 (best known for Stiffler's gigs and a lesbian sex scene) a chic flick- the guy chooses someone he cares abiout over the girl he just wants to fuck.
Now I feel I've shared quite enough of my inner emo for today, so I will go to the ghettos of Stratford in search of a "real job." Oh, and here's a juicy fact: they've supposedly developed a pill for pregnant women to take to prevent their children from being homosexual. Bull shit. I'd say damn extremists love your kids for who they are, but then again I'd also say abort a handicapped kid, and that opens up a whole new can of worms.
Since I talk about feelings and emo-ness with Randi a lot, It is only fitting that this blog post do the same. For the past couple of days, I have had the strongest urge to have a huge chic-flickathon. Love Actually, the American Pies (esp #2! yes, it is a chic flick), maybe some Amelie or Accepted, (wow, lots of As there...) all watched cuddled up on the couch with lots of chocolate and a box of tissues. Sadly (or maybe fortuitously?) there is no nearby functioning DVD player so instead I settled for VH1's "40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs" (Cuz I can't fight this feeling anymore! Yes I've forgotten what I started fighting for!) which managed to mock all of the emo out of me. You see, society does not look happily on honest, strong emotions. When someone comes on very strong, it's often viewed as creepy, or a load of bull shit to just get the other person in bed. (this is especially true if the person coming on is a guy) From my experience, caution usually pays off, as the emo-ness is usually either the latter, or the result of little other emotional experience. (then again, that also just goes to show you what little experience I've had. Blogging Rule #3- If my advice fucks you over, it's not my fault. You have my condolences.) As time goes on, the more experienced people become, the more they see dating and relationships as more of a game than a deep emotional pursuit. (the epitome of this being Sex And the City) Everyone at least partially wants the honest emo that is so often shunned, but everyone is groomed to be excesssivly cautious and not get hurt. It is here where I am tempted to divide the world into a bipolar spectrum- Relationship people (who are more open and intouch with their inner emo, often searching for just a few deep relationships) and Non-Relationship people (who more prefer a variety of shorter, less meaningful affairs with far less emo). NR leaning people are not necessarily more eexperienced or in denial, they just have other prorities, or know better than to look for a deep relationship at a that point in time. Ok yeah no shit Juicy that's not rocket science, but I'm getting to my point. (and I never really liked physics anyway...) My point is that I always thought I leaned more towards the non-relationship side of the spectrum, and I am sure that after more cyncial life experience that is where I will be (or hopefully at some point in college cuz I really don't want to waste my precious college years in a serious relationship) but the more I think about it, yearn for my fav chic flicks, and compare myself to others, the more I am starting to think I might lean more towards the relationship side of the spectrum after all. That isn't to say that a one night stand is totally off limits (cuz that was pretty satisfying) but I guess if there was more on the plate id take that too.
You may wonder why it took Juicy so long to come out of the closet about such a simple matter, but like I said, society frowns on honest, strong emotions. Not to mention the more desperate for love you are, the far easier it is for people to take advantage of you. (I'm referencing all those horrible match.com adds, BS psychics, and internet predators) Ever since I was little, my mom told me a guy will say anything to get a girl in bed, and sadly enough i've rarely met people that have proven otherwise. If you just wanna screw, tell me and save me the trouble, please. That's probably how I can justify calling a movie like American Pie 2 (best known for Stiffler's gigs and a lesbian sex scene) a chic flick- the guy chooses someone he cares abiout over the girl he just wants to fuck.
Now I feel I've shared quite enough of my inner emo for today, so I will go to the ghettos of Stratford in search of a "real job." Oh, and here's a juicy fact: they've supposedly developed a pill for pregnant women to take to prevent their children from being homosexual. Bull shit. I'd say damn extremists love your kids for who they are, but then again I'd also say abort a handicapped kid, and that opens up a whole new can of worms.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Blog Post #50 and Happy Graduation Juicy!!!
So it seems we have stumbled across two very important milestones...the fiftieth (so small, yet so large) blog post on Mango Flavored Addiction and the highschool graduation of yours truly. (not to mention the funnest week ever with more milestones, maybe ill tell you about that later, if you're nice to me.)
graduation was fun...I mean really, you get to wear a pretty dress, get told how smart you are, and feel special for a day. After graduation was even more fun, because 2 of your best buds spend the night at your house, then go with you and more of your buds to party it up in VT and Sharon, CT over the course of 2-3 days. (They also take foreshadowing pit stops in Northampton, take advantage of their spanish speaking abilities, wear bags over their head, meet really cool limo drivers, are deprived of donuts, have deep drunken conversations, have lots of sex, pee in random places, watch Star Trek, and name their hypothetical children. As for me, I just took a faceplant into the bushes.) Reunion anyone? you bet!
Once I had slept for 16 hours and somewhat recovered from the aforementioned excursions, I spent a day with my friend exploring the new town I live in and getting my nails done/eating a humongous sandwhich that fed me for 2 days. I also considered trying to make new friends in the ghettos of Stratford, but they would probably shoot me.
After this, despite graduating and all, I once again found myself on school grounds. Except this time I was spending the night, along with the rest of the Chess Club, at OSK's house in celebration of the end of the year for all our underformer friends. (haha you still have to go to boarding school...) This being-on-campus did not disturb me though, because I could walk around campus at 4am and not get in trouble, drive without signing out, etc. etc. We also went quasi-skinny dipping (It was very awesomely old school.), drank energy drinks (what else is new?), played lots of pool, ran around a field screaming, were circled by a minivan (that I tried to jump into) and watched Anne climb on top of a bus.
As you can see, this isn't much of a blog post. It is more like a random list of events that, for the first time in awhile, I would just like to remember. And I think there might be a few more to come too, Which is why I am thinking of starting journaling again. You see, starting the summer before 7th grade up until 9th grade, I was actually a really intensive artistic journaler. (sounds so cool, I know) And I think I might take it up again to document this summer and my college years. The thought also occured to me on the last day of classes, when, despite his class being the bane of my existence, my philosophy teacher gave us some useful life lessons that I plan on sticking too so I can live a more meaningful life. I don't know what this means for Mango, but hopefully I will find some way to balance both, and this will definitley not be the last post.
But wait, did Juicy just say she actually learned something? Yes, despite slacking off more this year than she has in awhile, Juicy actually learned a lot. And seeing as I am now a highschool graduate, I can legitimatley pass on to you Mango Addicts a few of the critical life lessons I have learned this year (despite the fact that I stopped doing the reading in winter.)
1. In the present one must simply accept that not everyone gets what they want or deserve. Life is sometimes merely a series of actions and reactions with no sympathetic governing higher force. Infact, in the short term, Life is often a flaming shit hole. Deal with it. Karma is a long term thing, and something good will happen...eventually.
2. the tiniest things can have the biggest, most entirely disproportional and unjustified consequences.
3. the truth always comes out to somebody.
4. the following are physically impossible. No matter how many energy drinks you have they will not be accomplished, so do not even fool yourself into thinking they will happen:
- completeing the majority of the assigned reading and writing a paper for it in one day
- writing more than one general length paper in one day
- staying up all night and actually spending all night productivley working
- staying up all night and not falling asleep in class the next day without massive amounts of caffeinated gum.
-getting 3 major assignments done in one day, even if it is a free day
5. You are not invincible. You may well have finally screwed yourself over for the last time. Yes, It could happen to you.
6. Never say Never, ever. One night I thought to myself "wow, things could not possibly get any worse, I would almost be amused to see what fate could come up with to make my life even worse!" Guess what, it did. As I was talking to someone on the phone afterwards and explaining to them how my life now surly could not possibly get any worse, I looked out the window and usual damp spring weather had turned into a raging blizzard in about 15 min. I kid you not. Never say never. Ever.
7. If you really want something and beleive in it, fucking go for it. Accepting failure is better than perpetual false hope. And don't cop out half way, try to convince yourself it's not that important, or sit back and calculate and take the safe route. Sometimes the only way to get it is to just jump.
8. You should probly stop once you get into double digits...it's a delayed reaction. From now on, we shall no longer use the "T" word.
9. Hydration is next to Godliness.
10. Never use an Academy of Driving car. ever.
11. Amor Fati dammit.
12. Everyone's a little psycho inside.
graduation was fun...I mean really, you get to wear a pretty dress, get told how smart you are, and feel special for a day. After graduation was even more fun, because 2 of your best buds spend the night at your house, then go with you and more of your buds to party it up in VT and Sharon, CT over the course of 2-3 days. (They also take foreshadowing pit stops in Northampton, take advantage of their spanish speaking abilities, wear bags over their head, meet really cool limo drivers, are deprived of donuts, have deep drunken conversations, have lots of sex, pee in random places, watch Star Trek, and name their hypothetical children. As for me, I just took a faceplant into the bushes.) Reunion anyone? you bet!
Once I had slept for 16 hours and somewhat recovered from the aforementioned excursions, I spent a day with my friend exploring the new town I live in and getting my nails done/eating a humongous sandwhich that fed me for 2 days. I also considered trying to make new friends in the ghettos of Stratford, but they would probably shoot me.
After this, despite graduating and all, I once again found myself on school grounds. Except this time I was spending the night, along with the rest of the Chess Club, at OSK's house in celebration of the end of the year for all our underformer friends. (haha you still have to go to boarding school...) This being-on-campus did not disturb me though, because I could walk around campus at 4am and not get in trouble, drive without signing out, etc. etc. We also went quasi-skinny dipping (It was very awesomely old school.), drank energy drinks (what else is new?), played lots of pool, ran around a field screaming, were circled by a minivan (that I tried to jump into) and watched Anne climb on top of a bus.
As you can see, this isn't much of a blog post. It is more like a random list of events that, for the first time in awhile, I would just like to remember. And I think there might be a few more to come too, Which is why I am thinking of starting journaling again. You see, starting the summer before 7th grade up until 9th grade, I was actually a really intensive artistic journaler. (sounds so cool, I know) And I think I might take it up again to document this summer and my college years. The thought also occured to me on the last day of classes, when, despite his class being the bane of my existence, my philosophy teacher gave us some useful life lessons that I plan on sticking too so I can live a more meaningful life. I don't know what this means for Mango, but hopefully I will find some way to balance both, and this will definitley not be the last post.
But wait, did Juicy just say she actually learned something? Yes, despite slacking off more this year than she has in awhile, Juicy actually learned a lot. And seeing as I am now a highschool graduate, I can legitimatley pass on to you Mango Addicts a few of the critical life lessons I have learned this year (despite the fact that I stopped doing the reading in winter.)
1. In the present one must simply accept that not everyone gets what they want or deserve. Life is sometimes merely a series of actions and reactions with no sympathetic governing higher force. Infact, in the short term, Life is often a flaming shit hole. Deal with it. Karma is a long term thing, and something good will happen...eventually.
2. the tiniest things can have the biggest, most entirely disproportional and unjustified consequences.
3. the truth always comes out to somebody.
4. the following are physically impossible. No matter how many energy drinks you have they will not be accomplished, so do not even fool yourself into thinking they will happen:
- completeing the majority of the assigned reading and writing a paper for it in one day
- writing more than one general length paper in one day
- staying up all night and actually spending all night productivley working
- staying up all night and not falling asleep in class the next day without massive amounts of caffeinated gum.
-getting 3 major assignments done in one day, even if it is a free day
5. You are not invincible. You may well have finally screwed yourself over for the last time. Yes, It could happen to you.
6. Never say Never, ever. One night I thought to myself "wow, things could not possibly get any worse, I would almost be amused to see what fate could come up with to make my life even worse!" Guess what, it did. As I was talking to someone on the phone afterwards and explaining to them how my life now surly could not possibly get any worse, I looked out the window and usual damp spring weather had turned into a raging blizzard in about 15 min. I kid you not. Never say never. Ever.
7. If you really want something and beleive in it, fucking go for it. Accepting failure is better than perpetual false hope. And don't cop out half way, try to convince yourself it's not that important, or sit back and calculate and take the safe route. Sometimes the only way to get it is to just jump.
8. You should probly stop once you get into double digits...it's a delayed reaction. From now on, we shall no longer use the "T" word.
9. Hydration is next to Godliness.
10. Never use an Academy of Driving car. ever.
11. Amor Fati dammit.
12. Everyone's a little psycho inside.
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