7am: FUCK!!!

Common knowledge is that one does a better job of reflecting on their life and distancing themseleves from their problems after a solid night's sleep. But this is not always the case. After you have spent seven hours behind your own closed, flittering eyes, you start to think about things you never even knew were on your mind. During a normal night, once your mind could rest, it would first turn to the things that give it most pleasure- dreams about life goals, certain people, etc. etc. But when your trail of thought fails to slowly collapse into the random absurdity that is a dream sequence, you find yourself going far more in depth in your concious thought and reflection. You analyze your wishes and anything else on your plate, you run these things through your mind more vividly, and ponder their knitty-gritty realities and unexpected consequences. The issues of your life that you would normally suppress or simply choose not to think about rise to the surface and become mentally verbalized, and (if you're me) attempt to resolve themselves (again if you're me) often in the form of exceptionally clear, organized, eloquent, and detailed letters and/or speeches to major figures in your life. By the time 7am rolls around and the sun comes up, chances are you have already accepted your grim fate for the next day, and have reached a place of extreme zen (also partially brought about by sleep deprivation and its related insanity) and wisdom. True, it has been scientifically hypothesized is that the less sleep we get the more wisdom we lose, and thus turn into zombies. (trust me, I was once assimilated...) but I don't think sleep is always the answer. We all need these long, thoughtful nights and quiet morning moments, especially those of us who are always too lazy to wake up for them.

One thing you start to wonder about is fate, and the fate of your life. You wonder if it's all some great merciful (or serendipitous but initially cruel) "nexusy" coincidence that just as you saw the red digits turn on your bedside clock, the morning bell rang signalling the day off from school. (I screamed Fuck because I was hoping for Tuesday, but this might work even better...minus my lack of abilities due to sleep deprivation, of course. Then again, if it's really all about the sleep 2 nights before the exam, let's face it, I'm fucked.) It might also be another bizarre "nexusy" coincidence that after spending hours drafting a letter to your parents (one in particular) about how you're getting older, namely when it comes to relationships with other people, your roomate decides to celebrate the holiday with an episode of Sex and the City. And as you sit and enjoy your morning cold pizza, you watch an episode, randomly picked, called "Hot Child in the City." And guess what it was about.

The Most Depressing Thing You Will Read Today (But People Still Keep Watching...)

It all started with ER and General Hospital, then Scrubs, then House, then Grey's Anatomy, and lord knows how many more there are to come. Why are people so obsessed with medical dramas? Frankly, every time I watch one I start to wonder what bizarre tumours and diseases are lurking inside me, undiscovered until a part of my stomach or brain spontaneously combusts, thus turning me into one of the poor patients on the show. I think about death: when will I die? Will I have a heart attack? Will it be nice and quick? Or perhaps I will experience the slow, sometimes pleasant but often terrifying and utterly sickening to those around me death of the self: Alzheimer's. (only of course, to forget about it 5 min later.) Will I ever become a parapalegic? Or maybe I will have a brain tumor, thus forcing me to choose between an operation that could save my life and the risk of losing my entire personality. Is everything I've known and cherished in my entire life really that easy to chemically erase? Everyone thinks "it can't happen to me" but it could all change in a second. Before you know it, you could be a vegetable, or worse...no, I don't even want to think about it.

I guess the general populace watches shows like these because they make their own day to day problems seem trivial in the face of cancer and heart problems. Meanwhile, the personal issues of the characters on the show are far more interesting than everyone else's. There's also probably the ability to relate, to a certain extent, I mean, there are a hell of a lot of doctors and interns around, right? I enjoy these shows to a certain extent, but as you can see from my last paragraph, I can only do so in limited quantities before I start getting depressed, paranoid, and even more of a hypochondriac. Because really, this shit is happenning to thousands of people every day. And what if the brilliant Dr. House wasn't in charge of my case? I could be done.

But steps can be taken to avoid this. (Isn't it funny how everything in life just seems to tie together?) Today I scheduled the second installement of my HPV vaccination, and felt very mature (I refuse to use "grown-up" as an adjective but we all know that's really what I'm implying) because theyre sending me the bill directly and I have to submit it to my insurance provider. Once I figure out exactly how this system works (and maybe once I turn 18, just to be safe privacy-wise) I'll probably take up some new, healthy habits. (And no repeats of last weekend...ever...) Because really, it could happen to you.

And on a final note: if I ever am completley incoherent and strapped to a wheel chair, or stuck in dementia-land, etc. etc. I have one request: Please, put some cyanide in my soup and D-N-FUCKING-R!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Talk About Feelings!

Well I'm still recovering from my dysfunctional weekend, and should probably spend this time working, but I was about to make another comment on JVs blog when I realized this was an incredibly worthy (and long, sorry) post within itself.

Can you ever "just be yourself?" do you inevitably have to choose a clique? and when this choice is made, though perhaps not conciously, how much does it affect your own sense of identity?

It's true, having a more normalized sense of identiy will immidiatley give you an easier time socially- you know what your "group" looks like, what they care about, what they do on weekends, and you will probably click with them immidiatley, before you've even realized the subtle social psychology at work.

But what if your sense of identity hasn't fit a predictable stereotype since middle school? What if your group of friends since lord-knows-when contains a beloved, bizarre type of diversity? What if you could see yourself being friends with all sorts of people? In other words, what if you're me?

Let's start at the begginning- middle school. Very predictable group of friends defined simply by the fact that we were all unpopular girls who didn't wear Abercrombie and Fitch or listen to Britney. Me: the artsy girl wearing the skirt over pants or a sparkly top hat (im serious-it was an awesome look) on any given day because she thought it looked cool and didn't really care about what anyone else thought. Sortof punk, but not too hard core aesthetically.

Now I get shipped off to prep school- total culture shock, pushing me to stick even more faithfully to my punk/alternative roots, even if they were not so strong to begin with. (I do still love some of that music though, and I am forever a flaming activist liberal). Needless to say, I was completely antisocial for that year excluding a junior (who was equally crazy she just hadn't discovered it yet, shout outs, you're welcome :) ) a nice sophomore, and my roomate who hated me but warmed up eventually.

My second year of prepschool- all my hardcore-not-giving-a-shit-about-anything attitude somehow magically becomes converted to work ethic, and I get intouch with my inner nerd. Apparently I love school....who knew. Meanwhile, I change dorms and get to know some cooler, more alternative people that I genuinley become friends with. As much as I love my new dorm-mates, I also meet another group of artsy/nerdy newcomers. And this is where I find myself stuck between a similar dichotomy that JV describes: you can have lots of friends, but inevitbly, if its a solid group you're looking for, the choice is inevitble. You will end up spending more time with some people than others. Luckily, it wasn't really a concious decision. The reason I'm not really worried about my current situation (which I'll describe in a minute) is because if prep school taught me one thing: the best things in life just sort of happen. You don't have to worry about who you are friends with, because eventually that choice will be made for you in a completely natural and organic way. And as for the others, they're still some of my besties, so really, don't worry about it.


It is that experience- from lots of random friends, to no friends, to lots of demi-friends, to an arguable clique of close friends, to an arguable clique plus the roadtrip crew, that is currently keeping me sane.

Now, I am in college. I have met lots of people I genuinely like, but I can't really say I have a set group. While most people in my dorm found others they clicked with and created their own social sub group, I tended to click with one or two people per group across multiple cliques, so I still feel like I'm testing the waters socially. (This is made harder by the fact that I can be an incredibly judgemental person, and even though the best friendships-god, I sound like OSK- happen organically, I still put a decent amount of effort into deciding who I want to bother to socialize with. Oh, and I'm naturally self-sufficient, fine with being alone, and untrusting of people, so needless to say adjusting will take me awhile, but I'm ok with that.) Plus my school has so many people I want to get to know and that seem cool, I am depressed at the thought that I could have met my best friend ever but just didn't bump into her.

Now let's take this back to sense of self- I am still figuring this out. during the week, I am a hardcore nerd/dork, but I turn into the biggest rebel/party girl on weekends. (There's social dichotomy #1 right there. Eg- last weekend) At times I can be artsy and creative, other times more intellectual and straightforward. I can be very, very girly at times, and other times not so much at all. (This perpetual hybridization and redefinition of sense of self, if you were wondering, is why I have so many clothes.)

So, When I have found my clique, (if I ever do- I'm in no rush and by no means stressed about it having survived my sophomore year of prep school) will this crazy smorgasbord of personality traits and styles magically fall into line? It is inevitable that some end up getting more stressed than others, but isn't college supposed to be all about personal growth?

And then there are people like my roomate- people who magically seem to immidiatley become best friends with everyone, while silmontaneously creating their own little clique of besties and having the most incredible social networking skills you've ever seen in your life, while also being an incredibly chill, confident, person. Are people like that just "being themselves?" or secretly do they to wonder what's going on and where they fit? Having lived with one I doubt it, but this really isn't relevant to me seeing as I obviosly lack that gene. (Or I do just minus the social-networking and everyone-wants-to-hang-with-me-all-the-time chromosomes)

Here's a final thought: At the very start of middle school my best friend was really preppy. Some days at lunch I sat with her and her friends at one table, and on other days I sat with some of my other friends. One day, one of her friends said to me "Oh my god, can't you just choose one already?" with the bitchiest tone ever. I didn't sit at that table very much after that. Don't be that bitch.

Milestones

You know a certain experience was mediocre when you only have 2 remarks to make about it, and one if them is "Yes, I actually got my sweatshirt back!"


that+grass= my weekend



And that's all I have to say 'bout that.

I Love My School

This is describing an officially sponsored event at my school to "celebrate sexuality in all its forms"



"...After the performances, there is a “parade” to the campus center. The pathway is lined by tables hosted by orgs or non-quad houses that offer everything from condoms and dental dams to lap dances and head shaving. At the end of the route, to cap of the night, is a party in the Carroll Room."

Happy Holidays

Everyone knows that in every lab group there are three types of people: the leader who actually knows what's going on, the drone who helps them measure stuff, and the lazy ass who just continually asks what's going on and copies down the other two's notes. Guess who I usually am. If you haven't figured it out yet, here's a hint: Yesterday was the slumpiest day of my life. Seriously, it was disgusting, even by senior-year of high school standards. If my old advisor knew about this, she would probably drive an hour just so she could yell at me. I showed up to my first class 15 min late in my pajamas, and have never tried harder in my life to stay awake. In my second class I was in the same attire, and actually did fall asleep. I got back to my room at noon, and slept until fucking 4. Woke up, ate my only meal, did somewhat productive things, kept up with TheKaitzer, and did not start my work due to next day till a record 1:30 AM. Clearly, I need some serious motivation to get ahead again. (Once I finish this blog post, of course)

But today, that motivation may just have come. You see, as a young child my parents gave me lots of nice presents, like puzzles, a computer, books, a microscope, and a dress up kit (can you tell?). What I never did get from my hippie mom and buisness-savvy dad was a Chemistry Set. (Which is surprising cuz in kindergarten my favorite activity was pouring water into beakers) But today was Christmas. (Well, technically it was talk-like-a-pirate day, but who cares about that?) Yes, today I got my own little locker in a lab containing about 2 dozen test tubes, a dozen or so beakers, lots of flasks, and scores of other bizarre utensils and containers that I cannot even begin to list. Two whole plastic bins worth!!! They're not "mine" so to speak, but they are all locked in my locker for my personal use. (Hopefully whenever I want, having already entertained several fantasies of sneaking back into the lab in the middle of the night and mixing lord knows what....mwhahah, any ideas?) Looking around the lab is equally exhillirating....lots and lots of bottles labeled with all sorts of compouds just sitting on open shelves waiting to be mixed! One even looked like it was from the 60's, and had this incredibly sexy old-school Poison label on it, complete with all sorts of compounds one could use for antidote. How hot is that!

And not to be outdone by JVert's awesome use of web-cam...

We Live in MA, Dumbass...

So today I was at the Barnes&Noble waiting around for a taxi (long, boring story) and I saw that they were selling postcards, so I went over to take a gander. It seemed expectable at first: Hartford, Yale U, some Dino museum, but then it hit me...toto, we're not in CT anymore! Seriously, is MA so lame that it has to resort to selling it's little southern neighbor's postcards? This can't be possible...I mean, who cares about Boston, the Smithsonian, a ton of colleges, the Sox, let alone our Nation's epicenter of colonial history, when just a few miles south, there's a government building with a pretty gold dome on top of it!!! ooooh.....! Seriously, none of them were from the 01--- zipcode. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to diss my home state (too much) but everyone knows that Massachusetts is simply 10x cooler...what's with the lamo postcards?

So the rest of this blog post is going to be devoted to all the little things (such as that above) that are worth noting but hardly strong enough to carry the weight of their own title.

For starters- My nexus powers. Now if you don't know who I am you are probably going to think I am crazy for claiming to have powers. Then again, If you don't know me then I don't know you, so I really don't care. Anyway: at one point yesterday I was thinking to myself: what exactly is the formal definition of a focus again? if it is simply the center of a perfect circle tangent to the end of an ellipse, couldn't any number of points serve as foci? I pondered this in the back of my mind for the rest of my day until that evening when I went to do my AST hw. I opened up the text to do my reading, and there it was: an entire box devoted to the geometry of ellipses and foci right under my fingertips. Under 12 hours= an ultimate nexus record. Holy Shit! add into this the fish and the radio station (ask JV) ...maybe soon I can qualify for ESP?

Next- A very wise Verizon commercial once said that what connects us most is our need to be connected. That said, why do people never comment on my blog?!?!?! SERIOUSLY GUYS! Has my uber extensive 4 person readership dwindled even smaller? Or are my posts just so mundane that absolutley NOTHING moves anyone to speak even after I have exhausted my daily minutae for their reading pleasure? Now being in a slump is one thing (eg my wearing my PJs to class 2x this week and skipping GOV...oops...) but this is too much... I need your Juicy feedback! please! I feel so alone in the blogosphere! *bursts into tears*

Questioning My Sexual Orientation

This blog post is dedicated to any little soon-to-be humanities major who ever had a nerdgasm reading their Chemistry text book.

Oh, you didn't want to admit it at first, I know. The library was quiet and lonely. You think: this isn't too abnormal, these things happen to everyone. You'll tell yourself: It doesn't say anything about my character, I am a Humanities person, really. I'm just a Humanities person who happenned to take the introductory level Chemistry class, followed by some classes in OChem, that's all. It's just for 3 semesters, just for fun on the side. Nothing serious. You believed yourself too, but it didn't stop there did it? No, you couldn't control it, could you? Before you know it, you hear there's only one more mild deviation that seperates you from a Quantum Chemistry class. Just one, why not, right? You have plenty of time for English and History, and you know you love them more. And that's what really matters, right? It's not a big deal.

But then one day you'll wake up: hair dishevelled, text book beneath you, stains on your sheets, (from highlighting, of course) and you'll have to look at yourself in the mirror and finally, honestly, admit to yourself: "Hello. My name is Juicy... and I have a minor in Chemistry."

Because let's face it: Everyone knows that Quantum Mechanics is just too fucking sexy.

Musings From The Morning After

The sky
is grey and expansive.
My soul
is similarly so:
Empty,
filled with fluff.
But at least it is nice and cool here
all the time.

My sigh reverberates on the winds
as I wonder what
has become of my friends.

~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever woken up and wondered what the hell you're doing?

Wait...I Actually Have to Learn Stuff?

So I was just raising my sleepy head off of its comfy resting place (my astronomy text book) when I thought to myself: How many times have I done this? Eyes closed, open highlighter in hand, a variety of different soft bound text books beneath, snoozing away for a few minutes over the course of 3 or so years of daily reading assignments. Is this any different from high school?


When we come to college, we think we are going to celebrate the best four years of our lives and party our newly independent asses off. This is by no means untrue, but we often forget that there is also a tremendous amount of work invovled, and ignore our parents' frequent reminders of their own collegiate struggles. (After all, I went to boarding school, didn't I? I can handle this...) It is only until we walk into a class (I dunno, say, Gov 224) where fellow freshman are far and few and where we are handed a piece of paper telling us that our entire grade will be based off of an oral project, an exam, and two 5-7 page papers that we start to think "Oh...Fuck."


But I am going to keep telling myself I can do this (after all, astro seems like a breeze). And like I said before, It is by no means untrue that I do plan on celebrating the last fleeting years of my youth. It's all about figuring out what's necessary, a skill that, sadly enough, can really only come with time and experience (If I ever learn, at that).


So is this really any different than highschool? I'd like to think so. Though once again I have found myself feeling studious and a little on the outside socially, I've also found myself in underwear and bunny ears drunkenly screaming at convocation, and running to hide shot glasses in my dresser in a pitch black room after the pseudo-lesbian dance party was broken up by rumors of a roaming Area Coordinator. So yes, regardless of how much I actually like my new found friends or how much time I spend passed out over a text book, I would like to think that this will sure as hell be better than high school. And if I learned anything from my Astronomy reading today, I learned that if the entire history of the universe was condensed into a calandar, I was born about .05 seconds ago, and I'll have graduated in about another 1/90 of a second. So even if college isn't all it was dreamed up to be, in the big picture, it's not the end of the Universe.

Hello, My Name is Juicy!

...And welcome to college. Well, technically It's more like pre-college, or to be more specific, preorientation. (if you were wondering, it sucks) The table I was put in by fortunate mishap ended up actually meshing well, so woohoo I have people to sit at the lunch table with. But what I miss ridiculously are my old friends. Like, the kind I don't have to retell my entire (somehwat uninteresting) life story to when we talk, or with whom I can comfortably make Asian jokes. Shout outs to you allllllll.


I of course cannot help but be reminded of my first (horribly awkward and lonely) year at boarding school. If it weren't for having gone through that and knowing that I'll find my peeps eventually (even if it does take 2 years) I would probably be scared shitless right now. That, or actually bothering to be social and checking out the people who live across the hall from me. But hey, I've got a year, right?


So what exactly is it like here? Well on my first night the older students and us played a huge game of never have I ever. So while I still don't know half of the people's names, I can tell you who's been walked in doing it up the ass by their parents, (on a volvo, to be more specific) who's taken ecstasy, and who's had a threesome. Soon it will be Convocation, when we all wear as little as possible (saran wrap skirt anyone? total nudity is also a possiblity) and get drunk and scream while being spoken to by the faculty. So now I will also be able to tell you who's got a nice bod and who doesn't, but still not be able to remember half their names. Welcome to a women's college?

Eww, It's August

About a year ago this time, I wrote a blog entry about how August is the most pointless month ever. I continue to beleive that. Seriously, what awesome thing ever happens in August??? Perhaps I'm just socially deprived in having to keep up with a group of friends that branched off into about 4 different cliques and who have been busy all week ( : ( ) but perhaps I'm not alone. And yeah, PR will be fun, but other than that it seems all I do is go on the boat with dad (mehh), work, and pack for college. I'm going on vacation in a week, which further deprives me of the opportunity to see my friends though spending quality time with the Madre should be interesting, and then I'm back here and off to college in under a week. Shit. I know this is a very pointless blog entry, but like I said, it's fucking August, so I really have nothing better to do.

"How to Spot a Manwhore" and Other Juicy Tidbits...

Well, it seems Juicy has come a a long way from her double hitter weekend. Not too far in the long run, but far enough to keep her summer interesting, and to pass on some tidbits of juicy advice to all you Mango Addicts out there. (Or just those of you with nothing better to do on the internet...)


1. How to spot a manwhore:
A. all of his facebook action is from girls
B. ok, that's all i've got for now, but it does the trick.

2. When a guy is drunk he will be slightly more prone to sexual activity. This fact will be verbally expressed many, many, many times.

3. If a guy gets so drunk he makes a complete fool of himself over your hotness, there is the slight possibility he will not call back once his friends tell him everything they will never let him live down.

4. A TRUE man will have the balls to call back anyway. Bitch.

5. When a guy doesn't call you back for 1-2 weeks but then does when there is an approaching social event involving the both of you, he is doing this in order to make things not be awkward and leave a good impression. This is all in the hopes of ass getting.

6. How to spot a manwhore who does not call you back: See section 1, then factor in a sentance involving the words "sorry" "forgot" "call" and "you." Bitch.

7. Phone tag can be very satisfying. One has the joy of being called back, but without the stress that comes from talking on the phone with people you want to impress. However, if this safety device is abused, interest will eventually fade. (unless he really, really likes you. see #10 for more info)

8. When a guy tells you about all the bad luck he's had with women and how he is often taken advantage of because he is a nice guy, this is actually a cleverly disguised ass getting tactic known as "playing the sensitive card."

9.If a guy calls you 1-3 times a day, everyday, and sometimes more often when you don't pick up (AKA more frequently than your own father) he either A.) really, really likes you; B.) has an obsessive personality; or, C.) is really really bored. Only time will tell.

10. If a guy with whom you have been slightly flirtatious hooks up with "a really hot 25 year old" within 24 hours of hearing you hooked up with someone else, he has a motive... we're not exactly sure what it is yet, but it's there...we think...

11. When you give a guy your number out of the blue, even with merely friendly intentions, he will try to use this to get him ass.

12. If a guy with whom you have not spoken in years calls you at 2am and blatanly propositions you....No, I think you all can figure that one out for yourselves. I Hope.




So that's pretty much my summer in a nutshell. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. ; )

The Time of Your Life

I am starting college in about a month, and turning 18 somehwhat shortly after. I will spend (hopefully) 4 years in college partying it up with my friends and travelling to exotic places. After that I will go to law school, continue to party though probably a little less, and graduate (again, hopefully) when I'm about 24. After that its a few years of the party that is "your early 20s." Sounds like I have a great life ahead of me, right? But what comes after that? A solid job behind a desk, marriage, children, even if I don't everyone else will...It's all down hill from there! Everything we've been waiting for for so long, climaxing, but then slowly sloping downward. This is it kiddies, the best effing years of our lives, right infront of us. And After that, before you know it's even hit you, it's nothing but down hill from there. Enjoy it while you can.

18 means only two years left of teenagerdom, and then bam, you're an adult. Holy shit.

Happy Birthday Mango Flavored Addiction!

Yup...Believe it or not, Mango Flavored Addiction is one year old. (Awww!) One year (and one day...oops, sorry) ago, Juicy Got Bored and Got a Blog. I don't know what exactly to give a blog for its birthday, (maybe a makeover, or perhaps some better content?) But I'm sure I'll think of something. In the Spirit of OSKs post, it only seems fitting that I use this post to reflect on all the changes that have taken place since MFA came to be...

1. The most obvious change over the past year is the type of content. MFA has seen both long, serious pieces in the past, short silly pieces more focused towards the blog buddies, and some more recent and more personal pieces. I don't really know what I would like to have more focus on, but chances are I will change my mind once I decide it anyway, so oh well.

2. My relationship with the blog buddies: around this time one year ago, DrK and I had a variety of strange late-nite induced AIM convos, Gavrich and I chatted casually, OSK was more a friend of a friend (or maybe not...can't really remember), and I didn't think I would ever talk to Vertical ever again. We also all used to check our blogs and comment religiously. (I miss that!)Now, DrK and I have slightly more sane conversations, Gavrich and I are and fellow travel buddies (yes, he went to senior parties!), OSK is one of my closest friends, as is Vertical whom I will hopefully keep up with even in college. Whod'a thunk it.

3. The Blog Buddies themselves: around this time one year ago, Drk was still a manwhore, but a far more naive and inexperienced one. It was his ex that liked him back then, now thanks to her, well, she's his ex, but they are still awesome friends. Gavrich would have probably gasped if someone told him that he would be considering drinking at senior parties, or "letting lose" a little in college. (PS I'm still glad he didn't) OSK has a whole blog entry about how he's changed. (snap snap for the darker side) Vertical was a nice (?), naive and inexperienced little line who was still dealing with all the sad things that happen to people who are nice, naive and inexperienced, while eating a lot of his lunches by himself. In one year, he also found himself in the 6 person clique, being accessory raped by like 10 girls, and getting smashed at senior parties. (at which he and gavrich looked like total pimps for escorting up 3 very lovely ladies...if I do say so myself...) Whoaza.

4. Jay-Z

5. My Self: Yes, the Juicy one herself has also experienced many changes over the past year. At the beginning of my blogging career, I was still healing from Junior year's exertions, but still had a generally over achieving attitude that flowed a little into senior year...before I found myself in a 6 person clique, would rather chill in OSKs basement than do work (having sex, of course), got tortured, got bad grades, got into major disciplinary trouble, hated life, got emo. Who knew. Now I'm not really sure how much of an overachiever/happy person I am/ever was, but I guess we'll find out soon enough in college.

6. I gave TP guy a shot, plus I might be a relationship person after all...what?

7. I'm going to a women's college, who the hell saw that coming...

Anyway, that is my short and sweet reflection on my Juicy Life and this Juicy Blog in the past year. Hope you Mango Addicts enjoyed it as much as I did, see you next time. (maybe with a nicer layout)

The Road Trip: Part Deux...

So it seems every summer/major break we try to plan one of these and every summer/major break, it fails. But perhaps this time will be different? who knows...anyway, the Klingon and I have similar feelings about wanting to get out and about this summer, so here are some ideas:


* Visit me in Stratford (I still want to have a beach bonfire and burn all my papers)
*Spend the day in NYC (parents might want something more speciific...baseball game perhaps? random show? amusement park? filming of TV show?)
*six flags
*Ye Olde Swimming Hole
*Mission of Love: NY Style
*Visit Moose
*Visit Anne
*Visit Julie
*Visit Young (hey it was worth a shot...)
*Visit all of our friends in a giant circle
*Hang out on my dads (now) humungous boat
*Visit the eldest Z brother (and party it up)
*Go to Boston (see bball game/yell at certain admissions offices)
*Go to Rhode Island (see above, and then mooch off of OSK's having a house there)
*Use the laptop to have trek marathons in strange and unusual locations...(ok yeah that idea sucked...help me out here!)

A Time for Deep Reflection...

Seriously....so first my mom gives me a relatively new perspective on myself by calling me lazy (ok maybe she was right there...) and unhelpful, and accusing me of having an excessivley nonchalant/laid back attitude. In short, she made me feel like the spoiled brat I have always feared becoming. Glad to know your so happy with me mom. She also asked "where's the spark? the joie de vivre?" but then again, that's something i've been asking myself for awhile...maybe it'll creep back up in college, maybe not. I hope so, but of not whatever.... I should probably do more about this...but that brings us back to square one. I also have a strange aversion to obviously trying to impress people because I feel like a goody two shoes. If I'm ever doing something nice, one should generally avoid complimenting me. So now even if I wanted to be more "helpful" I would feel wierd doing it. Anyway, so as if I'm not already feeling mehh-enough about myself, TP kid starts directly hitting on me and I full frontal Spazz. Seriously, ask DrK, he said I was acting like a little girl. So while I'm worrying about the quality of person I am, we can also wonder why I am obviously severly undeveloped in certain areas and have the emotional maturity of an 8 year-old. Once we've figured that out, I can ask the doctor to take another look at the strange lump on my neck that my mom keeps bugging me about (just when I had once and for all overcome my infamous cancer-based hypochondria) and wonder why my left ring finger now cramps up whenever I type. Perhaps I should try meditation...

Juicy Update

So once again today I found myself on a severly delayed train heading south from spending Friday night with the blog buddies, (for those of you unaware, we all live in the same tiny ass state but I live about an hour away. Said tiny ass state has horrible public transportation.) and spent about five hours trying to get home by train when the drive is only a little over and hour. (yeah, really gotta get on that whole license thing and yes I can drive dammit!) Though spending an entire day travelling (or worse: waiting to travel) is not the best way to pass time, I did find myself in the company of some interesting strangers. Namely: Jeff, a gay bartender at a club I know of who also works with autistic children. He just broke up with his boyfriend, so we talked about feelings. It's nice to know I'm not the only person who thinks they had the worst year ever. The night before this encounter, while I was watching an episode of That 70s Show in which Eric and Donna break up but still go on a date together, Jeff and his former partener John were actually doing this. The evening resulted in him getting flowers thrown at him and a drunken argument, but hey, at least they did it in comfy millenium sneakers instead of clogs. I mean really, I love the 70s....but clogs?

I also met a flight attendant and an odd Auntie and her nephew (both very nice and interesting people) and saw someone who looked exaclty like my middle school crush from behind. (Seriously, they had the same hair and walk and everything...I stopped and stared for like 5 min until he turned around and turned out be like 20 something)

If the scariest thing DrK has ever seen is me driving, then the second scariest thing he will ever see is probably me being put in a position of responsibility. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Juicy got a job. Well...she almost got a job. She was going to be hired by a pizza place (i kid you not) 5 min away from her house and it sounded great, but they only wanted her on weekends and her dad apparently needs her on the boat. Mehh, there goes that offer. I want a real job dammit, and if experience has taught me anything these are not easy to come by. The hunt continues...

In other news, the universe has been freakishly responsive to my previous blog post in the form of TP guy, except I will probably never see him again. Mission of Love to NY, anyone? (except not cuz that would be creepy, even for me and I'm the one going there...) Oh, and I'm also slowly but surley redecorating my room and have become hooked on Star Trek. Yes, I said it. After such exposure, Resistance was Futile. (But I still reserve the right to mock you all for knowing wayyyy too much about those Shows/Movies/Mini Series/ that Media Enterprise, even if it is cool.)

Random Shout outs to Brandy. (who will probably never read this) Good luck with your stalker. You have a cool name which vertical should sing to you about, (Brandy! You're a fine girl! What a good wife you would be...But my life, my love, and my Lady is the SEAAAA!) and document so I can laugh at it. To conclude this evening's update of events, there is a slight risk of me being a horrible person, but other than that the weather is looking good for the next few days. Over and Out.

Happy Birthday Little Blonde One!!!

OK, so I was unable to get my very good friend a birthday present and cannot do something in person because she lives in Canadia, thus, I have dedicated a blog post to her. Happy Birthday Randi. I think you're turning 16- enjoy the most overrated year of your life (at least that's what it was for me, I'm sure yours will be alot better) and your pretty blonde hair.

Since I talk about feelings and emo-ness with Randi a lot, It is only fitting that this blog post do the same. For the past couple of days, I have had the strongest urge to have a huge chic-flickathon. Love Actually, the American Pies (esp #2! yes, it is a chic flick), maybe some Amelie or Accepted, (wow, lots of As there...) all watched cuddled up on the couch with lots of chocolate and a box of tissues. Sadly (or maybe fortuitously?) there is no nearby functioning DVD player so instead I settled for VH1's "40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs" (Cuz I can't fight this feeling anymore! Yes I've forgotten what I started fighting for!) which managed to mock all of the emo out of me. You see, society does not look happily on honest, strong emotions. When someone comes on very strong, it's often viewed as creepy, or a load of bull shit to just get the other person in bed. (this is especially true if the person coming on is a guy) From my experience, caution usually pays off, as the emo-ness is usually either the latter, or the result of little other emotional experience. (then again, that also just goes to show you what little experience I've had. Blogging Rule #3- If my advice fucks you over, it's not my fault. You have my condolences.) As time goes on, the more experienced people become, the more they see dating and relationships as more of a game than a deep emotional pursuit. (the epitome of this being Sex And the City) Everyone at least partially wants the honest emo that is so often shunned, but everyone is groomed to be excesssivly cautious and not get hurt. It is here where I am tempted to divide the world into a bipolar spectrum- Relationship people (who are more open and intouch with their inner emo, often searching for just a few deep relationships) and Non-Relationship people (who more prefer a variety of shorter, less meaningful affairs with far less emo). NR leaning people are not necessarily more eexperienced or in denial, they just have other prorities, or know better than to look for a deep relationship at a that point in time. Ok yeah no shit Juicy that's not rocket science, but I'm getting to my point. (and I never really liked physics anyway...) My point is that I always thought I leaned more towards the non-relationship side of the spectrum, and I am sure that after more cyncial life experience that is where I will be (or hopefully at some point in college cuz I really don't want to waste my precious college years in a serious relationship) but the more I think about it, yearn for my fav chic flicks, and compare myself to others, the more I am starting to think I might lean more towards the relationship side of the spectrum after all. That isn't to say that a one night stand is totally off limits (cuz that was pretty satisfying) but I guess if there was more on the plate id take that too.

You may wonder why it took Juicy so long to come out of the closet about such a simple matter, but like I said, society frowns on honest, strong emotions. Not to mention the more desperate for love you are, the far easier it is for people to take advantage of you. (I'm referencing all those horrible match.com adds, BS psychics, and internet predators) Ever since I was little, my mom told me a guy will say anything to get a girl in bed, and sadly enough i've rarely met people that have proven otherwise. If you just wanna screw, tell me and save me the trouble, please. That's probably how I can justify calling a movie like American Pie 2 (best known for Stiffler's gigs and a lesbian sex scene) a chic flick- the guy chooses someone he cares abiout over the girl he just wants to fuck.

Now I feel I've shared quite enough of my inner emo for today, so I will go to the ghettos of Stratford in search of a "real job." Oh, and here's a juicy fact: they've supposedly developed a pill for pregnant women to take to prevent their children from being homosexual. Bull shit. I'd say damn extremists love your kids for who they are, but then again I'd also say abort a handicapped kid, and that opens up a whole new can of worms.

Blog Post #50 and Happy Graduation Juicy!!!

So it seems we have stumbled across two very important milestones...the fiftieth (so small, yet so large) blog post on Mango Flavored Addiction and the highschool graduation of yours truly. (not to mention the funnest week ever with more milestones, maybe ill tell you about that later, if you're nice to me.)

graduation was fun...I mean really, you get to wear a pretty dress, get told how smart you are, and feel special for a day. After graduation was even more fun, because 2 of your best buds spend the night at your house, then go with you and more of your buds to party it up in VT and Sharon, CT over the course of 2-3 days. (They also take foreshadowing pit stops in Northampton, take advantage of their spanish speaking abilities, wear bags over their head, meet really cool limo drivers, are deprived of donuts, have deep drunken conversations, have lots of sex, pee in random places, watch Star Trek, and name their hypothetical children. As for me, I just took a faceplant into the bushes.) Reunion anyone? you bet!

Once I had slept for 16 hours and somewhat recovered from the aforementioned excursions, I spent a day with my friend exploring the new town I live in and getting my nails done/eating a humongous sandwhich that fed me for 2 days. I also considered trying to make new friends in the ghettos of Stratford, but they would probably shoot me.

After this, despite graduating and all, I once again found myself on school grounds. Except this time I was spending the night, along with the rest of the Chess Club, at OSK's house in celebration of the end of the year for all our underformer friends. (haha you still have to go to boarding school...) This being-on-campus did not disturb me though, because I could walk around campus at 4am and not get in trouble, drive without signing out, etc. etc. We also went quasi-skinny dipping (It was very awesomely old school.), drank energy drinks (what else is new?), played lots of pool, ran around a field screaming, were circled by a minivan (that I tried to jump into) and watched Anne climb on top of a bus.

As you can see, this isn't much of a blog post. It is more like a random list of events that, for the first time in awhile, I would just like to remember. And I think there might be a few more to come too, Which is why I am thinking of starting journaling again. You see, starting the summer before 7th grade up until 9th grade, I was actually a really intensive artistic journaler. (sounds so cool, I know) And I think I might take it up again to document this summer and my college years. The thought also occured to me on the last day of classes, when, despite his class being the bane of my existence, my philosophy teacher gave us some useful life lessons that I plan on sticking too so I can live a more meaningful life. I don't know what this means for Mango, but hopefully I will find some way to balance both, and this will definitley not be the last post.

But wait, did Juicy just say she actually learned something? Yes, despite slacking off more this year than she has in awhile, Juicy actually learned a lot. And seeing as I am now a highschool graduate, I can legitimatley pass on to you Mango Addicts a few of the critical life lessons I have learned this year (despite the fact that I stopped doing the reading in winter.)

1. In the present one must simply accept that not everyone gets what they want or deserve. Life is sometimes merely a series of actions and reactions with no sympathetic governing higher force. Infact, in the short term, Life is often a flaming shit hole. Deal with it. Karma is a long term thing, and something good will happen...eventually.

2. the tiniest things can have the biggest, most entirely disproportional and unjustified consequences.

3. the truth always comes out to somebody.

4. the following are physically impossible. No matter how many energy drinks you have they will not be accomplished, so do not even fool yourself into thinking they will happen:
- completeing the majority of the assigned reading and writing a paper for it in one day

- writing more than one general length paper in one day

- staying up all night and actually spending all night productivley working

- staying up all night and not falling asleep in class the next day without massive amounts of caffeinated gum.

-getting 3 major assignments done in one day, even if it is a free day

5. You are not invincible. You may well have finally screwed yourself over for the last time. Yes, It could happen to you.

6. Never say Never, ever. One night I thought to myself "wow, things could not possibly get any worse, I would almost be amused to see what fate could come up with to make my life even worse!" Guess what, it did. As I was talking to someone on the phone afterwards and explaining to them how my life now surly could not possibly get any worse, I looked out the window and usual damp spring weather had turned into a raging blizzard in about 15 min. I kid you not. Never say never. Ever.

7. If you really want something and beleive in it, fucking go for it. Accepting failure is better than perpetual false hope. And don't cop out half way, try to convince yourself it's not that important, or sit back and calculate and take the safe route. Sometimes the only way to get it is to just jump.

8. You should probly stop once you get into double digits...it's a delayed reaction. From now on, we shall no longer use the "T" word.

9. Hydration is next to Godliness.

10. Never use an Academy of Driving car. ever.

11. Amor Fati dammit.

12. Everyone's a little psycho inside.