Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Oh My Google

OK, I surrender. No protests, no radical resistance, no guerilla forces. Google has taken over and I accept that. Better yet, I have decided to swear my loyal allegiance to Google here and now, so as to avoid any problems when this becomes mandatory in the far future. Google, I am faithfully yours, there is no need to threaten my family or place dead animals in my bed.

They were clever alright, letting us think that we had control at first. We thought they were helping us with all their useful search engines, then conversion tools, then driving directions, then email, then statistics counters. Soon I suppose there will even be Google fast food restaurants. (Just think: GoogleFood. "Hey, honey I'm hungery, can you google me a burger?") But now we know the truth: They're on top, and resistance is futile.

The proof that Google now posses more power than any other entity on earth? Google Street View. Not only does Google know where you sleep, but it knows where you sleep in 360 degrees. We already have GoogleNews; It's now only a matter of time before "GoogleParty" sprouts up, followed by "GoogleLife."

So remember, if you happen to be doing something that Google might not like and you see one of these:

Run. Just Run.

(and maybe check to see if I'm driving, cuz that looks like a pretty sweet job.)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Oh, Canada!

Every spring, multitudes of American college students head north to escape the brutal, oppressive liquor laws of their country. They go towards hope, they go towards dreams, they go... to Canada.

The general consensus? Excellent. Going on vacation to Canada is exactly like going on vacation to Europe, except you only drive several hours instead of flying, and the exchange rate is actually in your favor. Really, cultural novelties, cobblestone streets, quaint pubs, and (in our case) awkward language barriers included. Poutine anyone? I might just never bother crossing the Atlantic again.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


There are some things you do in life not because they're good, but because you just can't not do them. Things like rubbernecking on the highway, gawking at plane crashes, and seeing this movie:


(obviously it will suck, but the hilarity of that artilcle entirely compensates)

PS- I've actually been wanting to blog about this for awile, but I liked the way the number of blog posts lined up with the month...