Saturday, March 24, 2007

Damn That Toast

Seriously...yeah that's pretty much it seeing as i've already bitched about my life to the max and can't think of anything else to say right now. It's nice outside today. Hopefully it wont snow tomorrow. Also hopefully, I will have a good week next week, which means that not only will the weather be nice, but i will not want to kill myself. Why you ask? beacuse of the toast.

You see, bread is very good, but when you want to make the bread better, you toast it and add butter. The only problem with this is the more you toast the bread, the higher the risk you run of ruining your scrumptious snack all together. while a nice golden brown is appreciated and considered worthy in life in lieu of the pallid, whiteness of bread, the toast can quickly devovlve from a beautiful brown to an [i have a bad vocaublary so just insert a word that means "disgusting and really really bad"] black. it's hard to know when to stop toasting your toast, and only years of life experience can tell you just what that perfect time is. Most people however, can get a good idea of how much is too much before they're toast has actually turned to nasty black ash. I however, have never been a good or cautious toaster. With every added minute on the dial, i was intrigued by the increasing amount of warmth rising from the mouth of the machine, and often questioned just how warm it really was only after i looked down and saw the dark abyss where my healthy golden toast used to be that i turned off the toaster, and realized what i had done to my once tasty golden toast. I do not like black toast. I am not think i am a black toast type of person. I dont deliberatley burn my toast, i am just attempting to make it more delicious, really. I cannot undo the toasting i have done, and it will be a long time before i can get a new white piece of bread out all together. I can only hope that I have not burned my toast too much, and that if i add enough butter i'll still be able to palatte it without grimacing as i am forced to swallow it. or maybe if Im really lucky, my toast will be scrutinized further, and i will find that if you scrape the little bits of ash off the surface, it was not too black at all, and an even nicer shade of golden brown.

Wish me luck, and a tasty piece of toast.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Juicy's List of Fabulous Fuck Ups

I would just like to take this time to announce that I have fucked myself over yet again, and my life continues to hit newfound alltime lows that were not considered possible up until this point. Here's why. But Before I go onto bitch about my masochisticly cursed existence i would like to shout out all my friends, old and new, because theyre pretty much the only valuable things I have left after half a term, and maybe even a whole year if i think about it too much, of dissapointing myself.

1. as for the first most promintent problem on my mind, i may be pretty dumb sometimes (as i was at this particular time, VERY dumb and just getting dumber) but im not dumb enough to post anything about it on the internet. lets just say we'll see where it goes, and pray to God above (if he exists, or perhaps just Fate if it has any plans for me after all) I stil have a shot at my top choice college and a solid year and a half of working myself into a stupor was not literally flushed away.

2. On the topic of making poor decisions, i have recently realized i am an absolute failure at time management. I also re-realized (this seems to happen alot, so we can add an inablity to learn from the first fuck up to my list of fuck ups) that i cannot live on no sleep and gross amounts of taurine and caffeine, nor can i really buckle down and work in my friends rooms, nor can i socialize until 2 and then start productive work at 4 and continue it until 6, nor can i set my alarm for 5:30 and actually expect myself to get up, nor can i leave off three major assignments to one weekend. (which at my school really means "a day and a half of free time," its very misleading...) Up until now i feel i have been cut a ridiculous amount of slack for my inability to "actually hand anything in on time" (<--- words that will start an epiphany, I swear) but im sick of needing it. really. im sortof disgusted with myself.

3. for the reason detailed in number two, i skipped several classes to catch up and did not get my grades back up to where i want, and i think one of my teachers hates me...(at least one anyway) So not only will i have to deal with my dad yelling at me for poor grades and number 1 simontaneously (ouch), i also get to explain to my advisor what the fuck was going on that last week of school, in addition to number 1. because of said falling grades, again, about a year and a half of work has now been defenstrated.

4. this isnt really a fuck up, but i would just like to take this time to yell at blogger for making me upgrade and confusing me with this new google account thing. thanks blogger, thanks alot for making my life even more annoying. youre supposed to be comforting me here.

6. i failed my drivers test. i blame the car completely, but this still counts as a fuck up...

7. end of this hockey season....awesome start, then I don't know what happenned...this was probably concurrent with when i stopped sleeping

8. i'm 17 and still alone. i dont even want to think about how many fuck ups that entails.

by now youre probably thinking "don't worry juicy, theres more to life than grades, achieving personal goals, freedom, sports, relationships, and college admission" and this is very true, but there may aswell not be because it just gives me something else to fuck up eventually. woohoo!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Dear Life, A few questions...

1. What the fuck? It seems everytime I think something is in my past it creeps up on me when i least expect it and most need it. Is there such a thing as destiny and fate, or is this just the way things work out? (though I suppose if im a N.o.F I cant really question fate's bad...) And if everything from your past does come back to you eventually and is in that way 'fated' to happen, then doesn't that almost make fate less of a big deal if it applies to everything, and not just a few special instances? or,

2. Is just my life this fucked up? seriously...all this shit happenns that always seems so interconnected with everything else and freakishly ironic. Am I just a hallucinating psycho? I mean, we know I'm a psycho at least, Jesus Christ never knew how much of a psycho I was, but why do these things keep happenning to me? and why do they always have to be such a big deal? on the opposite end of the spectrum, If i stop reading my life like a book i might be able to be a little more objective, maybe still a psycho but at least not a psycho with some twisted perception of reality. Then again I'm starting to learn we're all a little psycho.

3. When Dammit? OK, I get the whole 'things happen for a reason and you can always learn stuff' concept, and I've learned a shit load, but what exaclty am I supposed to do with loads and loads of knowledge about how Im a PSYCHO???

ok yeah, 2 40 AM, done WAYYY too much thinking for one day and not enough sleeping for one week, def time to call it a night...dont ask me to explain this....