A Day in the (not so juicy) Life of Juicy

So everyone else (aka all like five people whose blogs i read) is writing about their life, so i figured i might as well try and amuse you with mine. The key word in that sentance of course, is try.

Today was nice because it was raining. Maybe it seems odd to be on a dock in a new england during a mild storm, but it's actually really cool. i dont know if it's something about the surrounding fresh chaos, or the feeling of mysterious possibility (as if a sherlock holmes novel could begin to unfold around you at any minute) but it is, and has a kick ass sound track to boot. I spent the afternoon running errands with dad for his boat, going back to hang out on his boat, and reading my book for english next year on boat in middle of said rainstorm. It was chill.

When we came back to my house, my dad didnt want me to get sick ( i was sopping wet) so he instisted i have a rum shot, and kept saying "it's good for you! It's good for you" (ok dad, whatever...) I hate anything straight over 40%, (then again, the last hard liquor i had was green, maybe not such a good sign...) so i went to mix it but he insited I take it straight. We clinked, and he pretty much just laughed at me while my eyes started to well up. I was just recoverying the feeling in my esophagus when I got a hint of a slightly more pleasant after after taste and realized: I miss beer! Seriously, what the fuck is up with this country, stupid enforced liquor laws...it's disgusting. Vertical: that weekend is coming, and soon (even if i have to say i'm staying at elizas or something) Koopon and Klingon- when do you guys learn to drive?

Anyway, my grampa came over for dinner and i sat through the usual words of wisdom while my dad sang along to this random opera song he's obessed with (it was the same song last week) the homemade pasta was good. Then my dad started talking about how cool it would be if i got into Harvard or Brown, and how the double advantage being a woman there is all the great guys i would get to meet, and i might even marry a sucessfull buisness person! I totally called him out on this of course (and they wonder why im such a fem nazi at school...) and even my grandpa agreed with him. thats like, beyond a generation gap! But really, for starters, if it's a feminine advantage as opposed to a male one, then i guess im gay all of a sudden because it works both ways. Second of all, if i can't sleep over my guy friends houses now, how on earth can i be in prime condition to produce grandbabies by the time im in my 20s!

After dinner my grandpa gave me a ride back to my mom's house. I complimented her on the bow from the chocolate box that she tied in her hair, told her rum might make a great cure for her ulcer, and then went to my room to read more. I got bored with reading and too impatient to read on to the saucy bits, so i've been online ever since, sitting infront of the TV watching sitcoms sans cable, and there's really no one interesting online to talk to so I'm writing this (actually there almost was, but ill get to that later) it's 12:30, and i seriously need to finish that book so i can get up and write that essay tomorrow, but oh well.

Hold on, was that some thing juicy that was hinted at in the last parenthetical? well, sorta, not really. a friend of mine once told me i was a nexus of fate, so perhaps the unvierse is extra sensitive to my 'i'm sixteen and still single will someone please shoot me' cries. Day 1: old 'friend' (who has been trying to hang out with me since 7th grade) brings it up again, i finally block him after telling him that i wont hang out with him because i have this not so farfetched impression he's just been trying to get in my pants for years. His pre-block response? something like "why would i ever try for someone that i know is out of my league?" Ok dude, a word of advice before i go: no girl is that stupid, work on the BS lines. Day 2: So about a year ago, i turned down the opportunity to hook up with this really cute drunk guy on my last night in Paris, mainly because i'm a deaf idiot. Anyway, so I IMed him a little after the trip, nothing he seemed too interested in. But on Day 2, he IMs me totally out of the blue, stressing the 'we should hang out' and gives his cell. He lives in NY and was probably drunk (as always), but it's nice to know i've got a drinking buddy in the city who owes me some action ; ) Day 3: already buzzed on the last 2 days of pseudo lovin, i IM a cute guy i've known a bit after he rated me something on facebook. (i actually rated him something awhile ago, but oh well) I was being sorta odd (and made this one really bad joke) so i sorta let the convo die, but when it was good it was good, and at least there are other people in the world with whom i can randomly speak french.

OK so now it's 1 am and i'm cracking up over fraisier re runs, still not reading, and it's raining again. (just in case you started to think my life was actually getting interesting)

PS: if you derive nothing from this pretty pointless entry, know this: POETRY.COM IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flavor of What???

Ok, what is it that everyone finds so enticing about Flavor Flav? He's short, skinny, looks dishevelled all the time, wears a VIKING hat (which by the way is so not ghetto), is sorta squinty, has a raspy voice, and overall looks like a bit of a junky. Now I feel bad for writing this, and I'm sure he's a very nice person and all, but in the real world 'nice' normally doesn't get you your own TV show where a variety of attractive women are all vying to be with you. *trys to fend off bad blogging karma*

Which brings me to another question: what is it that would encourage young women in this society to go on a show where they will all be vying for one man? it seems fun to a certain extent, but when you have all these girls saying "omigod he has to pick me! he has to pick me!" you start to see just a bit of an imbalance in power/respect. maybe this is just me being a fem nazi (though they do it for guys too and i don't think that's good either) but don't they realize that he probably means alot more to them then they do to him? (seeing as he has a choice between six and all...)

Remember back when The Bachelor(ette) was on? Right and left, you'd hear the contestants proclaiming their love for the prize and getting all emotional, without realizing it's all BS! I mean, they put you in a house, cut you off from the rest of the world, and make you contest for one prize with a bunch of other people in the exact same circumstance. Obviously, this is going to have the same psycological effect of placing a group of people together on an abandonned island: they're all going to go a little whacco. You're not actually in love, you stupid person, your emotions are just being amplified because at that time, the producers have made sure that that person and the contest is all you have to think about! How can you not realize that?!? Furthermore, what would entice someone to waste a whole television season's worth of their life trying to get together with a total stranger? Couldn't you at least go on the Trump show and get a decent job? or Project Runway (personal fav) and try and become a well-renouned fashion designer? Do you seriously have no other talent that is currently in demand by television audiences? (Chances are, you do. Pants Off Dance Off anyone?)

August is Such a Bullshit Month

...I mean seriously, when was the last time something exciting ever happenned in August. Everyone goes abroad or to camp in july, then comes back in August and either goes on some random family vacation, does all the reading/summer work they put off during july, melts by the pool, or finds some other way to essentially do nothing. Time itself seems to be getting lazy- when was the last time you automatically knew what the date was in August? There's no denying the lingering sense of boredom that seeps into the million small moments that comprise this month. And it's effects are clear: with little else to think about, people seem constantly caught up in their own neurosis. When this is not the case, the lack of activity causes people to make stupid decisions (piercings, beards, the list goes on...) and follow completely random and nonsensical trains of thought. (like about skittles) Come to think of it, the effects of the month of August are very similar to those of drugs. True, if it weren't for the fantastic dullness that is August people would not even mildly look forward to going back to school, nor would they have anything to romanticize about after the windy rush of September has come, but until then, August sucks.

Red White and Bull Shit: Exactly How Dependable Is Democracy?

If there's one thing everyone seems to be able to agree on in America, it's that we all have the right to disagree. We have turned that train of thought into a system we prize very much, also known as democracy. Democracy of course has multiple advantages, but sometimes I can't help but see some fallbacks to the utillitarian, 'power to the people' philosophy, especially with the current elections in place. Just because people vote for a canidate, are they really voting for what they want or need?

If you read my last blog entry/quote, it's frightening to think that some people would support a variety of issues that they have no idea about, simply because a canidate claims to support Christian values. True, he is against abortion, gay marriage, and a large amount of stem cell research, but what about the billions of other things he's affected? One issue voting is a pretty dangerous way to go if you're not looking at the whole picture. And finally, what the hell does religion have to do with politics in general? Aren't we supposed to be glad we at least try to put up the illusion of seperating the two, having viewed the atrocities of middle eastern theocracies? Everyone has a right to their own beliefs, and if you want to believe that the gay couple next door to you are going to burn in hell for their sins, that's fine. But leave the punishing up to God, not the government. (And if you do think the government is more necessary than God to do that, then I ask you to reasses your personal faith to begin with.)

A lot of people are also far too easily swayed by charisma. Just because a canidate has good social skills, it does not mean he has good leadership skills. Wasn't it President Johnson whose poor social skills actually made him work even harder for people while he was in the oval office just to gain their support? That's the kind of thing that should sway a person's vote, not a sturdy handshake or a kiss on your baby's forhead. In fact, alot of the campaigning that happens, especially for the presidency, is frankly total BS. It's pure marketing. Whether it's republicans trying to appeal to family values and small home town America, or democrats just insulting the hell out of the Bush presidency at any excuse, neither of these are particularly informative to me when the polls open up. Why can't they just skip all the PR bullshit and give me a list of what each canidate is standing for and what (s)he's not, what (s)he plans to do about current and possible future problems, and maybe even have and independant organization do some research for me. How did (s)he do in lower politics? what is the ratio of things (s)he said (s)he would do compared to the things (s)he actually did? etc. etc. I know it sounds oversimplfied, but I would much rather have a straightforward packet of information from an unbiased organization than have to listen to speeches that try and speak to our emotional side instead of our sensible one. True, we've got the debates, and I don't know how many voters tune in for them, but I have a feeling it's miniscule compared to the hoards of people at political campaign events. And didn't Kennedy even manage to turn the debates into a PR event? Finally, if you're going to advertise yourself, please do advertise yourself. One of my major pet peeves is when politicians devote entire add campaigns to spilling dirt on their opponents. Seriously, do you have anything better to say? At least try to balance it out a little.

Then of course, there are the people who join a party and stick to it. It doesn't matter who they're voting for, so long as their party is in power. I also think this is not such a good idea. Do you know why some sort of two part system has lasted in this country almost since it was founded? that's because, and obviously no devoted party member will admit it, but neither ideology is perfect for every situation. It's a known fact that when the economy is going well, people want freer markets and fewer trade barriers, while in times of economic trouble people will sacrafice more capitalistic freedoms for food on the table. It doesn't make sense to vote for the same party at every election, simply because the changing times make some idealogies better for the current situation than others. (This doesn't hold true in all cases, but it can be said about many of them)

So what should we do about this? Sadly, there's not much. I think it would be great if we could create an organization to compile and distribute completely unbiased information about canidates to every registered voter, (which would probably cause an onset of slander lawsuits and bribing, not to mention be very costly) and maybe give every voter a class in how to handle and analyze this information to what really suits their needs, (again, mucho opportunities for subjectivity and a huge cost to tax payers) then we would see a more intelligent voter turn out. This way, canidates could cut the crap and be forced to get to the point. I know this program sounds really idealistic, but something has to be done.

American people live in a country that empowers them more than many other countries worldwide, and in exchange for this great power comes the responsibility to use it wisely by voting intelligently. Just think of how much happier everyone could be if they invested a little more thought and effort into the future of their country or state! Think of the higher standards government would be held to, and the better integrity of its people and policies! It's pathetic that a large percentage of Americans don't even care enough to vote to begin with, but of those who do, so many are easily swayed for the wrong reason. Only the people can stop this, and if it continues, only the people will suffer.