Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

Last night, I saw a movie called "Secretary." In this film, a girl is recently released from an institution (where she was placed because she loves to inflict pain on herself) into the real world, and starts cutting again once she has to return to all of her same old family problems. In search of something to do, she gets a job as a secretary for a local lawyer. She stops cutting, only to replace the act with being his sexual submissive. (getting off from doing everything exactly as he tells her, then making mistakes on purpose so he can spank her, etc.) Just when I thought the film couldn't get any more bizarre, this kinky relationship comes to a halt because the lawyer realizes he is actually falling in love with her, and v.v. At the end of the film (WARNING SPOILER) the submissive secretary proves her to love to him up to a point where he cannot just ignore her (it was sorta gross...)and so finally he acknowledges that he loves her, they have a really hot sex scene, then get married. (If you were wondering, this film is rated R, has a shitload of nudity and I've never seen more scenes of a chick jerking off....anyway...) The main point of the ending narration was something about how they both understood each others' love for acknowledging the pain in life, and understanding how the other one enjoyed being loved.

As my friend was crooning over their adorable loving relationship and how incredibly cute it was, I found myself thinking "What the fuck? How could a movie that spends half of its time acting as porn- S&M porn at that- actually have led to a sweet and romantic ending?" (Another line also stood out, one from the tapes the protagonist listened too when she was coming out about being a submissive- "Who said love has to be soft and gentle all the time?" hmm...)



Sex is a biological necessity, but it's good for the species to do it with people they care about because that ensures better chances that the child will be well cared for. On the same note, It has also developed into a medium for showing affection for others, while silmuntaneously becoming a way to overpower and dominate them. And on the other end of the spectrum, lots of people will hava amazing sex with people they don't even know. (which perhaps brings this whole thing full circle, back to biological necessity) This is definitley not the first movie ever made inwhich something that started out as very sexually base actually devleoped into something more, but what exactly is the relationship between sex and, well, relationships?



I guess everyone's different- our class couple back in the day barely french kissed, but perhaps that stored up sexual tension (if it existed) resulted in their fighting on a daily basis? My friend said that when her parents met, they just knew they were meant for each other. They didn't really want to have sex, infact, the only reason they did was to have kids. (Ironically enough, that kid turned out to be sortof a horndog....perhaps its a recessive gene?) Another friend of mine once saw a documentary made about married asexual couples- that's right, couples that are married but have never actually had sex. They're reasoning? One woman said "things are so good now! why risk messing that up?" True, adding a sexual level to a relationship can complicate things, and that's one theory (according to another friend of mine) for why friends don't have sex. Then again, it can also enhance them. I was talking to another friend of mine who described having a deep emotional relationship with someone, in addition to a fantastic physical one, while still just being friends and dating other people. (Though I'd like to see where that relationship ends up in a few years...) When Odysseus was stuck with Calypso, he missed his wife dearly, but the goddess sugessted that they use sex as a medium to develop a positive relationship between them, and it did work up to a point.



As you can see, I don't really have an answer for all of this, Nor do I beleive that one exists that could be applied to the majority of the population, but until then, we may have at least figured out one thing...



About that halloween costume....