Notes from the Head of the Kids' Table

...Well, actually, I ended up ceding the space of honor to a small blonde girl who wanted to sit next to my cousin, but you get the idea. I didn't actually mind sitting at the kids' table- what with the 8 year olds and their burp jokes, it's not so bad. And then of course on the way home my Dad starts talking about how he looks forward to spending holidays with my future family, but the past three hours of familial chaos have almost fully convinced me to never, ever reproduce. Christmas morning was lovely too, in the traditional manner. I got up on time (according to me) but late (according to my mom). My dad came early so I didn't get to open any of my presents. Instead, I was in the bitchiest mood ever and ended up shouting at him because he didn't tell me he was coming early and generally never gives me any respect in life. At first he tried to dodge my aggressive blows with "C'mon, Juicy, It's Christmas!" to which I responded several times "I Don't Care!" And I gotta say, I really didn't.

Maybe it's because the joy of Christmas is half in the hype, and I got home one day before Christmas and one day after crazy finals week. Maybe it's because I now sadly lack the childish imagination to really get into the holiday spirit. Maybe it's because I find it hard to see anything beyond a huge commercialistic enterprise. Maybe it's because I didn't get to open my presents. Maybe because after years of thinking something unusually good might happenn just because it's Christmas, and after nothing particularly fantastic ever occurring except for the odd good gift, I've just given up all together. (And yes, I tried watching Love Actually, and not even that did it.) What did I do on Christmas Eve? I went to a nursing home and ate my aunt's cooking with my other aunt. (who can barely talk but when asked about politics can magically and unmistakenly yell "Giuliani!") I then came home and bitched about my family online with OSK. (one big thing to look forward to in maturity: spending Christmas Eve with friends) Yup, Happy Holidays. I think I am now an official Fesitvus convert- I simply see no reason to celebrate Christmas, nor derive any deep joy from doing so except for opening presents. Is it best, then, that I stop celebrating it all together?

And here's another thing: on Christmas Eve and on the Day I had some wine to attempt to get myself feeling a bit more cheery, and I gotta say, for the first time, I actually genuinley liked it.