A not so famous psychiatrist once told me that in our romantic relaitonships, we are striving to correct problems we had with our relationships with our parents. (that's probably where Freud comes in.) I would just like to say that I honestly think that that is a load of bull crap. Yes, your parents are the first members of both genders you encounter, and from that you will learn what you like and don't like. But as you meet more people you will gain a more complex understanding of people, and you will gain a more complex view of what you want in a person. Freud says that we look for a partner that is either very similar to or the exact of opposite of our mother or father (depending on your gender and perhaps orientation) but surely this only works on a quality by quality level. Some qualities you might wish to be the same, others the opposite. To make a vast generalization for all of them is completely wrong. (OK i've met my fair share of guys with mommy-complexes, but that's not everyone. Thank God.) In addition, I don't think that people who were abused as children are into S&M, but that's just a hypothesis.
However, someone abused as a child might choose to not have kids so that they never become the evil parent they once had. I think that is the place where we truly seek to rectify the relationships we had with our parents: the relationships we have with our own children. Personally, the only time I find myself wondering about my future offspring or even wanting to create them is when I'm pissed at my 'rents, and I think this makes sense. For starters, how many times have you sworn under your breath that you'll "never do this to my kids." Furthermore, every parent wants to "give their kid what they never had" often times whether the kid wants it not. For example, a parent that felt their parent never gave them enough freedom will give their child far more freedom than they ever had. This child might then grow up to wish they had stricter parents in the long run, be strict with their kids, and the vicious cycle continues. It's like interlocking puzzle pieces of well intentioned compensation and overcompensation all forming the leaves of the family tree.
But back to the topic of relationships. Yup, it's that time of year again, peaches. It was about a month ago when I first took a stroll in target only to see everything from heart-themed dinner wear and kitchen utensils (wouldn't you only use them once a year anyway?) to candy packs from every decade to pretty much any product you could ever imagine in pink and red. I was just about to sigh and start the traditional oh-so-fabulous wallowing in self pity that goes along with the holiday when I realized: "Wait a minute, I really have no reason to be doing this, wtf?" Well that was an indicator if there ever was one. Bummer. (But maybe the mommy complex should have been a red flag after all?) Anyway, till then we can always celebrate Anti-Valentines Day (the 13th before the dreaded day for many) and revel in the color scheme and candy on the day itself just for kicks. Truth be told, I think this is going to be least eventful Valentines day I've ever had. I'm not emo about being eternally alone but there's really no one to make the holiday a total landmark occasion either. (And I already got into college, not that that wasn't fun last year) Oh well, I have a current fling going with all MA radio stations (seriously, they're amazing!) and TRUE Love lasts a lifetime....
Tomorrow bitches! and they BETTER still be dressed like that!!!
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