I Just Got Carded...at a Geek Convention

I just recently lost my geek virginity. Sure, I was nervous, felt a little awkward and embarassed aboout it, but it was enjoyable. Really, a nice group of people, comfortable environment, cheap cost, cool craft tables, overall a good time. I was hoping the "character building panel" would focus more on novels and writing than RPGs, but hey, it was an enlightening experience.

But this I was NOT ready For, young and pure flower that I am. Maybe I should have started to have second thoughts when they had to check my ID at the door, or when my friend who also expressed interest in going was nowhere to be found. But I was phoneless and intruiged (and had already paid) So I figured I might aswell give it a shot. The panel title: "BDSM"

I entered a room with a few others, and a man was standing at the front with a striking resemblance to my highschool physics teacher. He proceeded to pass around films that he thought really epitomized the greatness of BDSM/dark fantasy in fantastic and horrific storylines, and I tried my best to not picture him getting off to the stuff. I knew I was in over my head when he asked the crowd "Only reveal it if you want, but can anyone here identify whether they are a top or bottom?"

The 'academic panel' also lead to: "has anyone ever gone to any local demonstrations?" and "Has anyone ever had a full leather mask placed on their head?"I don't know what was sketchier: the guy who seemed to have a little too much to say on the topic, or the fact that he went to a club about 20 minutes from where I live. Then again, there was also the woman with blue hair who looked to be in her fifties. When asked what word she most identified with BDSM, she said "ritualistic." Uh Huh...The panel was also populated by the somewhat large, dykey blond who facilated the RPG panel, a smelly guy with dog ears, a surprisingly sweet and innocent looking redhead, and about five other normal looking indiviuals, one of which is on the crew team. (Just in case you were wondering who would show up to a BDSM Panel in a geek convention at 11 on a friday night in a women's college.) I don't say this often in life, but Thank God I didn't actually know any of them.

Now it takes A LOT to make me feel awkward, especially if the topic is anything sexual. Really, almost anything goes and I'm an open book, but this still somehow managed to cross my threshold. It actually had me quitely doodling in the back, staring down at my desk and taking notes for the purpose of "escapism blogging." AKA: Get me the fuck out of here; the sooner I am writing about this than experiencing it, the better. This feeling quadrupled, of course, when we got onto the topic of "borderline nonconsentual" and when someone made the joke "telepaths don't use a safety word!" This was clearly not for n00bs. My general train of thought upon leaving a polite ten minutes early: Quick! Think of something pleasant and nonsexual: Puppies and Unicorns! Wait, not Unicorns, crap...Butterflies! Damn, that doesn't work either! Um...Kittens! Yes! Puppies and Kittens! Puppies and Kittens!

I need a chic flick and I need it now. Let's not tell too many people about this one, OK?