Popeye = Lies

Everyday, people live their lives by a series of assumptions and "facts" that society has engrained into them over the years. "Eight hours of sleep is better for you than four," for example, and the ever famous "There are some things in life that you just need to do, whether you like it or not."

But the following is a potent reminder that just about any of these facts can be completely wrong. Never hesitate to question the authority, you might just be right after all.


Everyday, parents force spinach down the throats of disugusted, unhappy children at mealtime. When the children complain, the parent says "But honey, you need to eat spinach because it's good for you. You need all that iron to grow into a healthy grown-up!" and continues to force the vile substance down the child's throat. This leaves the child feeling violated, and the parent feeling guilty, but knowing that they are doing what is right for their child.

Or are they? Children, the time has come to rise against your elders. They are incorrect, and you need suffer no longer. Next time you are forced to swallow mouthful after mouthful of abhorrent green abomination, retalliate with the truth. Retaliate with this:

"Actually, the kind of Iron in spinach is inorganic, and it's physically impossible for our bodies to absorb any more than a mere tenth of it, even with a huge amount of Vitamin C to aid the absorption process. That's the same Iron content as most other vegetables, and even less than others."

If you're parents haven't already had their minds blown with the sheer power of that statement (and their child's excellent knowledge of college level Biochemistry which clearly exceeds their own), and in return say something like "You should still eat your Spinach because of all the other healthy vitamins and minerals in it!" then tell them this:

"It is true that Spinach will give you around half of your daily dose of a few types of B vitamins, which is impressive compared to some other vegetables (broccoli especially. I should note here that broccolli only contains trace amounts of any vitamin or mineral and could easily be susbtituted for a tastier necessity.) but there are far more efficient ways to get it. Carrots actually contain double the B vitamins of spinach, along with other nutrients, and taste far better when served caramelized with sugar. To make spinach an even less admirable sounding option, one should add that spinach actually contains over %400 of your daily dose of Vitamin K. Think that sounds healthy? Wrong. Vitamin K is fat soluble, not water soluble. This means that if you exceed the daily dose then your body cannot easily excrete the rest, so it becomes stored in the body's fatty tissue. Regularly exceeding the reccomended dosage by 2-3 times the normal amount (which spinach clearly does) can actually lead to health problems later in life."


What's that? Did I just say that Spinach could be considered less healthy than other vegetables? Why yes, yes I did. Now go on, children, take that which I have given you and set out into the world to spread the glories of truth and freedom from the oppression of misinformed parents everywhere.

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Did you like what you just read? Excellent. Because in a few weeks, the Mango is going Pro : ).