Saturday, March 24, 2007

Damn That Toast

Seriously...yeah that's pretty much it seeing as i've already bitched about my life to the max and can't think of anything else to say right now. It's nice outside today. Hopefully it wont snow tomorrow. Also hopefully, I will have a good week next week, which means that not only will the weather be nice, but i will not want to kill myself. Why you ask? beacuse of the toast.

You see, bread is very good, but when you want to make the bread better, you toast it and add butter. The only problem with this is the more you toast the bread, the higher the risk you run of ruining your scrumptious snack all together. while a nice golden brown is appreciated and considered worthy in life in lieu of the pallid, whiteness of bread, the toast can quickly devovlve from a beautiful brown to an [i have a bad vocaublary so just insert a word that means "disgusting and really really bad"] black. it's hard to know when to stop toasting your toast, and only years of life experience can tell you just what that perfect time is. Most people however, can get a good idea of how much is too much before they're toast has actually turned to nasty black ash. I however, have never been a good or cautious toaster. With every added minute on the dial, i was intrigued by the increasing amount of warmth rising from the mouth of the machine, and often questioned just how warm it really was...it was only after i looked down and saw the dark abyss where my healthy golden toast used to be that i turned off the toaster, and realized what i had done to my once tasty golden toast. I do not like black toast. I am not think i am a black toast type of person. I dont deliberatley burn my toast, i am just attempting to make it more delicious, really. I cannot undo the toasting i have done, and it will be a long time before i can get a new white piece of bread out all together. I can only hope that I have not burned my toast too much, and that if i add enough butter i'll still be able to palatte it without grimacing as i am forced to swallow it. or maybe if Im really lucky, my toast will be scrutinized further, and i will find that if you scrape the little bits of ash off the surface, it was not too black at all, and an even nicer shade of golden brown.

Wish me luck, and a tasty piece of toast.

5 comments:

gbz said...

I like burned toast...maybe my real life love of overcooked food corresponds to my mildly self-destructive nature (in a nexusy kind of way)

Gavrich said...

Oh JV, dismount from your low-horse. You are not self-destructive. You're harmless (not a bad thing), even to yourself.
8]

Juicy said...

oooh...deep....


someone can be both self destructive and harmless, in fact, thats probly a pretty good combo...

and for the record, he can be VERY self destructive

Gavrich said...

Well, I believe your toast has come out pretty well, considering.

And in the words of the legendary doler-out of over-the-radio avice Dr. Laura Schlesinger, "Now go do the right thing."

Anonymous said...

You don't like black toast? You're probably a racist.