I would just like to announce to you al, comrades, that I have infact, found the fountain of Youth. (Well, actually it's more like the fountain of productivity, but it's all about accomplishment and ability in the end, isn't it?)
First, comrades, you must go deep into the caves of mystery (the library basement) and find a quiet, private space inwhich to practice this ritual. When you feel your deep exertions starting to catch up to you, you must take a break and travel. On your quest, you must procure the drink made from the mystical buzz-giving bean (coffee) and consume it. This is to be accompanied by a tasty, sugary snack.
When the caves of mystery nolonger produce their artificial light by which you work, journey back to your place of residence. Here, you will briefly rest your mind and body by means of gossip, in preparation for the long night ahead.
Around 1 am, you must travel again downwards- this time, to El Dorado, also known as the realm of residential relaxation (TV room), and begin to forge that which you designed in the caves of mystery. Here, ladies and gentleman, is the great discovery of our time: Hockey Games and VH1. With such amusing, musical, yet essentially mindless noise being emitted from the box of hypnosis(TV), your mind will not be tempted to wander in the ways it might wish to in the wee hours of the morning. While the plush couch accomadates comfort, you will be immune to your bed's tempting call. When combined with the mystical buzz-bringing bean's more condensed potion of stamina (an energy drink), some great phenomenon in the very essence of this programming will keep you running and focused until the wee hours of the morning. Even when 6 am comes, not once will you have felt the urge to run down the path of cowards into the land of the dormant. Instead, you will be amazed at your own abilities. At 7, a refreshing trip to the warm springs that fall from the ceiling (a shower) will have you energized, purified, and ready for the day to come.
But here comrades, is where even I failed. Alas, I stole too much from the Great Golden City. I was too productive, did too much. Had I finished my work even an hour later, I would not have wondered what to do with these odd two hours before class. I let my eyes rest, I was concious at first, so concious....but No. I failed you comrades, I failed you all. Though I saw with my own eyes the chronological arrival of my intellectual commitments ("The Man") I instead defected to the dark land of the dormant. For this, I am deeply sorry, and only hope you can forgive me, and that you shall have better succes than I in the journeys to come.
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5 comments:
Somehow watching any TV alone after 3 AM always makes me tired...
And I refuse to become a slave to the mystical buzz-giving bean as so many before me have.
I too, refuse to answer the call of the giving bean. To be dormant is to rejoce in action the day following, and every day following.
Besides, to waste the triple sleep in is blasphemy XD
Haha "sleep in" oh the nostalgia (not) for when my weekends lasted one day and class meant i actually had to get up at 7:40 and go...suckas.
and that's the brilliance of this plan- it's really not too caffiene based. I only went through half a bottle of an incredibly mild energy drink, It was really the TV that I think did it...
In my experience with staying up, "magic formulas" like this are great the first time, but only coincidentally.
For instance, if you're really ADD, then not even a library basement will be empty of distractions. Caffeine is great, but it can turn on you and make you too twitchy to work. TV apparently works for you, but what happens when you accidentally flip to something legitimately interesting and can't look away?
I think the only universal trick is the one thing you missed: having something to do.
(best post in a long time btw)
Journey to El Dorado: Update
Yeah you are right about this being somewhat a product of coincidence and being dependant on the task at hand: I tried it again last night, watched quality TV for two hours in hopes of avoiding the awkward gap (i had to tear myself away from a fascinating doumentary about white holes, ironically enough to do a science lab, it was horrible...) and then went to do my lab (did you know fresh prince of belair is on in like a 3 hour chunk from 2-5 am on nick at night? feel old yet?) only to relaize that as great as this works for mindless essay writing, I lacked any capacity for figuring out a lab report, and had to wait until a fellow chem student came down for breakfast so it could be explained to me. (obviously, my very prescence at breakfast implies the fact that I never slept) That student told me that being awake for 24 hours is the equivalent of being very, very drunk. I do not doubt this because seriously, even when you haven't reached 24 hours yet, what episode of fresh prince is that funny? Not to mention I legit considered deprivation-dialing people.
I then of course, passed out around 8 am. DAMMIT!
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