I should really talk about finals, and pass on the lessons I've learned to you younger folks about pretty much everything not to do the week you have final exams, (eg: rediscover that you and OSK share a great skill for talking on the phone, and do this for 3 hours until your cell battery dies in lieu of studying for chemistry, or invert your sleep cycle, or leave off a paper so late you spent all your finals time writing that instead of studying, or realizing, once you've turned in said paper, that you forgot about another entire page of lecture notes, the double sided one observing the middle chunk of the lecture.)
But let's talk about something else in this short BFTSONDW (see my recent comments)
Let's talk about the state of my life at the moment, particularly, my affairs with the opposite sex. For starters, I think it can now officially be said that I have a bump buddy/fuck buddy/ bitch. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. Secondly, despite being massivley inexperienced (though since I'm a girl we can put a euphemistic spin on that and call it "virginal and innocent") I still find myself fighting the skepticism that I have developed throughout my entire life. infact, the more I see of the dating world, the more I find myself dissillusioned (not that I ever really was "illusioned") and deterred by the massive amount of Bullshit it entails. I've always had an incredibly low tolerance for bullshit, So I guess me and dating don't mix. I guess we'll find out at some point in the next few years, and if we don't, well at least I'll have really, really good chemistry grades. Here's an example of said bullshit:
Guy that wants to get with Juicy: oh I know that girl, she's wierd
Juicy: oh yeah I know her too! she's like one of my best friends!
Guy: Oh yeah well like, she's cool...
Seriously. it's funny how much stuff you can magically find in common with someone when they want to feel you up. Can anyone be trusted, then? who knows. My mom (who I find myself continually shouting out as I get older and more cynical) once told me that a guy will say anything to get laid. Point apparently proven. She also once told me (due to sortof awkward circumstances involving a family friends wife leaving him that I'm sorry she had ot endure come to think of it) that guys have needs, and not to feel special just because you are in a conveniant location to fullfill them. Enter drunken college social life- yup, also true. Now let's add to this area of intensely concentrated cynicism in which I was raised a divorce, a shaky relationship with my dad, experience with boys from like 1st-3rd grade that would scare me for the rest of my life (don't ask), and a general lack of trust in all people. Result: I think I have issues showing emotion. Like, real emotion. You know those extra nice girls that can just run around and hug everyone and become BFFles after like five minutes? I appreciate them and all, they're nice and make good ice breakers, but at first they always make me feel like such an isolationist dork because I could just never be that comfortable around so many people after five minutes to the point where I'm hugging them. The same goes with the flirts. You know, those girls that, if watching a movie or doing some other sort of relaxed activity, will immidiately attach themselves to the (most attractive, if its a plural) guy present and insist they cuddle/walk arm in arm/hold hands, or something like that. Like seriously, I'm not sure whether to oggle their smooth flirtational skills (which I lack, if you haven't noticed based on like, this entire entry) or just laugh at their desperation/need to maximize contact with the opposite sex. Either way- I still feel more isolationist, awkward, and dysfunctional.
Now, despite the previous paragraph and previous logic (which held that I might have a few scarce relationships, and then either marry or die alone with my 9 cats), I have still managed to accumulate a fuck buddy, a short list of admirerers, and a professed romantic Interest. You would think that given the previous paragraph, I should consider myself lucky to have this fuck buddy, list of admireres, and especially the professed romantic interest, and return the favor. But as life goes on and finals get even more stressful, I find myself incredibly nonchalant about this enitre situation. How is it that after attending a women's college for an entire semester, I still feel there is an excess of uncesseary testosterone that pervades my existance? Maybe I have too many close guy friends, or maybe it's just cuz i'm extra ballsy, who knows. I should probably go paint my nails or something, and shave.
I once read about a girl that didn't actually achieve orgasm during sex until years after she started. (Scary thought) I also read somewhere that girls get off easier sometimes when just doing it themselves, or when doing it with each other. (No, my college has not yet turned me the other way) Conclusion of all this: Men- who needs them?
PS- triangle, obviously you are needed, but you do inevitibly add 2 to the penis count (Yes, I just insulted one of you but I can't decide which...) Sorry if this entire article wreaks of TMI, but hey, it's 2am and I have been studying for days straight. I'm feeling pretty wreckless.
Guy that wants to get with Juicy: oh I know that girl, she's wierd
Juicy: oh yeah I know her too! she's like one of my best friends!
Guy: Oh yeah well like, she's cool...
Seriously. it's funny how much stuff you can magically find in common with someone when they want to feel you up. Can anyone be trusted, then? who knows. My mom (who I find myself continually shouting out as I get older and more cynical) once told me that a guy will say anything to get laid. Point apparently proven. She also once told me (due to sortof awkward circumstances involving a family friends wife leaving him that I'm sorry she had ot endure come to think of it) that guys have needs, and not to feel special just because you are in a conveniant location to fullfill them. Enter drunken college social life- yup, also true. Now let's add to this area of intensely concentrated cynicism in which I was raised a divorce, a shaky relationship with my dad, experience with boys from like 1st-3rd grade that would scare me for the rest of my life (don't ask), and a general lack of trust in all people. Result: I think I have issues showing emotion. Like, real emotion. You know those extra nice girls that can just run around and hug everyone and become BFFles after like five minutes? I appreciate them and all, they're nice and make good ice breakers, but at first they always make me feel like such an isolationist dork because I could just never be that comfortable around so many people after five minutes to the point where I'm hugging them. The same goes with the flirts. You know, those girls that, if watching a movie or doing some other sort of relaxed activity, will immidiately attach themselves to the (most attractive, if its a plural) guy present and insist they cuddle/walk arm in arm/hold hands, or something like that. Like seriously, I'm not sure whether to oggle their smooth flirtational skills (which I lack, if you haven't noticed based on like, this entire entry) or just laugh at their desperation/need to maximize contact with the opposite sex. Either way- I still feel more isolationist, awkward, and dysfunctional.
Now, despite the previous paragraph and previous logic (which held that I might have a few scarce relationships, and then either marry or die alone with my 9 cats), I have still managed to accumulate a fuck buddy, a short list of admirerers, and a professed romantic Interest. You would think that given the previous paragraph, I should consider myself lucky to have this fuck buddy, list of admireres, and especially the professed romantic interest, and return the favor. But as life goes on and finals get even more stressful, I find myself incredibly nonchalant about this enitre situation. How is it that after attending a women's college for an entire semester, I still feel there is an excess of uncesseary testosterone that pervades my existance? Maybe I have too many close guy friends, or maybe it's just cuz i'm extra ballsy, who knows. I should probably go paint my nails or something, and shave.
I once read about a girl that didn't actually achieve orgasm during sex until years after she started. (Scary thought) I also read somewhere that girls get off easier sometimes when just doing it themselves, or when doing it with each other. (No, my college has not yet turned me the other way) Conclusion of all this: Men- who needs them?
PS- triangle, obviously you are needed, but you do inevitibly add 2 to the penis count (Yes, I just insulted one of you but I can't decide which...) Sorry if this entire article wreaks of TMI, but hey, it's 2am and I have been studying for days straight. I'm feeling pretty wreckless.
2 comments:
Give science a few more decades and we'll be able to grow babies in test tubes. Then, women: who needs you?
We seriously need to have a long chat one of these days, I'm way WAY too far behind on everything. (as are you, but nothing happens in my life so it doesn't matter)
Dude, you can't grow a baby in a test tube, you would more likely need a nice cushy, moist, insulator that could grow with the thing. That would cost hundreds to thousands of dollars per baby to engineer, and eventually put the human race in even more debt. (an arguable flaw in the hypothetical validity of Brave New World) Wheras an actual woman would probably be far more cost efficient. (free, minus the cost of eating for two)
Now what do men have to do for all this? Jerk off into a cup. Surely we could more easily engineer a series of small flagellic cells with somewaht randomly varying genomes en masse than we could whole children.
hah.
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