Hey! Why Don't We Get Ice Cream? It's Cuz I'm Sick... Go Look At The Birds!

Hmm, so much to blog about so little will...Now Here at MFA, we appreciate our readers. Not only do we prepare awesome (well, attemptedly awesome) Annual Mango Dinners (pictures soon) but we also offer lots of little tid bits of Juicy life advice, so here goes:

1. The age of a person is indirectly proportional to the rate at which they consume alcoholic beverages. It's never failed me- dinner parties, cocktail hour, chillaxing; the younger you are, the faster you drink.

2. Here is the reason all children act like crazy, disobedient, obnoxious miscreants: cartoons. Because children ultimatly aim to please and be humorous, they imitate the crazy antics they see and find funny in cartoons. This is why they think it's funny when they kick and punch each other/you, don't listen, don't shut up, etc. etc.

3. Having to put immense effort into controlling yourself from acting on violent thoughts inspired by said children when around them for more than 5 consecutive hours is perfectly normal.

4. Knowing someone likes you and getting borderline cocky about it is fun. Knowing someone doesn't like you and wallowing in your own self-pity about it is normal. The hazy, unsure, indifferent middleground, however, totally sucks.

5. As most of you already know, I have a thing for school supplies with funky designs and bright colors. When back to school shopping, selection is always key. This year however, I finally met my match. Screw Office Max and Staples, Wal-Mart is bitchin. They must have had 3 aisles of three ring binders alone. Like a folder's design but wish it was a notebook? They've got it. Like those post-its but wish they came in a smaller size? got it. Slightly different color? Sure. Wings and an incorporated coffee maker? I didn't see one, but had I asked an employee for help I bet they could have found that too. And just when I thought there really wasn't anything left to sell:

WTF? (That's a type of wine, btw.)*

*Though maybe it's a part of a trend, since just today I saw not plain "Mint" or even "Spearmint" Altoids. Oh no, they were "Creme de Menthe"