Some relationships are like Santa Clause: Back in the day they were the best thing ever. They were totally worth getting excited for, and the fact that you two had found each other in this chatoic and random existance that is life seemed either incredibly lucky or gloriously predetermined by some higher power, as everything just seemed to fall into place so perfectly. But then one day, something snares. When I was young, I once noticed a very specific kind of chocolate that my Mother ordered from a catalogue at school. A month or so later when that same chocolate appeared in my Easter Basket, my suspicions were aroused. One not so significant car ride soon after, I finally confronted the issue. "It's true," my mother confessed, "There's no Easter Bunny." "And Santa's the same?" I asked, "Yes" she said. Some Relationships are similar: over time, things just don't add up the way they used to. Eventually, you start to see flaws that you didn't even realize you were choosing to overlook in a haze of hopeful and happy romance. And then one day, you finally let yourself see the person for who they really are and not what you wanted them to be. You swiftly dump them accordingly, and that's the end of that.
Years later, you might find yourself in a bit of a relationship slump, feeling cynical and generally out of the Holiday Spirit alltogether. All the usual evidence shows that they've clearly been missing you and want to get back together (it's almost cruel really- how indifferent you've been compared to them) and all of your common sense tells you it could work. A quick Facebook stalk reveals they're better looking than ever (believe it or not, I might just have found a male under 28 who can pull off facial hair) and you start to wonder if maybe you were a little quick to judge them after all... but something still holds you back. Just like Christmas will never be the same without believing in the magic of Santa Claus, this relationship will never go back to being as good as it was before you dropped the roses and the rose colored glasses. The desire to return to such a happier state is understandable, but to attempt to actually do so is just foolish. (You did consider shelving all that and just using them for sex- but that would be cruel in their current state and make for one hella awkward reunion. Plus, that would require admitting to yourself just how desperate you really are- *shudder*.)
So it's pretty much a shit situation all round: You're stuck deciding between a relationship with someone who clearly cares about you a lot but whom you're not sure if you even like, or another who-knows-how-long of [insert tumbleweed here]. (Oh, and if you pick the former but change your mind, you just fucked them over twice.) You know the truth and what the right thing to do is, but like so many grown-ups, a tiny pathetic part of you can't help but wonder if maybe you're the Scrooge, and there really is such a thing as a Christmas miracle afterall.
Luckily, however, there are some realtionships you can always depend on. Whether you want to cuddle up with sweet textbook words or be fucked hard and dirty on an exam, there is one thing that will always be there for both. Oh yeah baby, guess who's back....
Oooh!
2 comments:
The irony of the negative "see(ing) flaws that you didn't even realize you were choosing to overlook" is that it may be possible to find love in any person if you stick it out. Think about it- lovers start out as conditional relationships: 'I will stay with you so long as you don't do certain things.' But then we have our unconditional relationships, which (once again ironically) are the ones we've been forced to endure. Family, for example. Who's to say you wouldn't love your family if you'd met them later in life as opposed to being born to and into them? With relationships we always see an out. If things get bad enough, we can cut the person off and wipe our hands clean. Families all have rough times, often more rough than the majority of relationships. Yet we still love our family. So are all break-ups just the product of giving up too easily when love could be found (or found again) in the future if you stick it out?
At this point you probably think I'm back to my sickeningly optimistic self from years back. However, if we could find love with anyone if we kept trying, that also means that any relationship we're currently in is a waste of time compared to the hundreds of other better hypothetical relationships we could be in, as those people are definitely out there. So is being in any relationship that could be better just a safe move, as we as humans are afraid of being alone? It really is a shame that life has a ticking clock.
I agree with what youre saying to a certain extent, sticking it out and longevity/ time can add alot too any relationship. But if there's not very much there to begin with, then the interest just kinda fades out and you wonder what your'e even still working towards.
There isn't always another better relationship out there either, though, because part of what makes a relation ship good is a history between two people which can never be replicated. I think it's all about finding the right balance.
Another point- the way you love your family is different than the way you love someone you voluntarily want to make a part of your family. Many people don't even like their families. You, as a child, endure your family because you know they care about you, and you make a point to be nice to them and see them on holidays because you know it would hurt them if you did otherwise, and sometimes they can be fun to talk to. But I don't want to talk to my grandparents on the phone for hours or spend exorbitant amounts of time with them. Obviously, neither one of us will ever get to know each other too deeply beyond the respectable grandpa/good hardworking granddaughter roles.
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