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Every year, I tell my family that I'd really prefer not to go on the traditional family vacation down to the Virgin Islands, and every year I manage to somehow get guilted in dragging my sulking self up at 6am the day after Christmas to spend 4-10 days in the tropics. Of course, no one I have ever met actually understands my plight. It's always "Oh, how lucky you are to be going there!" or "Oh that's just wonderful!" and I have to smile and agree with them because if I say anything otherwise I'm clearly a spoiled brat. No, No it's not wonderful. There was a time when it was wonderful, of course, but those days are long gone. Now, family vacations just mean I have to spend several days in solitary confinement with my neurotic relatives in a cell phone deadzone with nothing to do except swim, sleep on the beach, and go out to dinner with them. One day we might go out on a boat or go into town, but honestly that's it- we lie on the beach and do nothing for several days. It is an epic waste. Normally at least one fight occurs, so with no other distractions I'm left brooding about it for at least double the normal time period. While most people would revel in the opportunity to do so many new and exciting things, 20 years of the exact same routine has left me so jaded that I honestly could care less. After two days, I'm already in a horrible mood, counting down the days till departure, and keeping up the mental mantra of "get me the fuck off this island" as if I were actually shipwrecked.

I don't care if I sound spoiled but I have yet to see how nice weather and a first class ticket compensate for this. Luckily I've had no problem drinking here since I was 15, but that's pretty much the only available coping method.

Infact, I've decided I prefer summer in New England to tropical vacations. After winter I feel like I've really earned the heat.