Well, it's senior spring (I know this because today all I brought to class was a pen) and I am still stuck in rm. 10 because my advisor says she needs to talk to people before she takes me out, even though I only have one week left, no more work to do, and it was my idea to put me in here in the first place, go figure...
Anyway, it's because of this massive chunk of free time in rm 10 that I am sitting down and blogging for you today, even though I don't really have anything specific to blog about (and by specific I actually mean "interesting" and "well-structured") but hopefully that will change by the time you have finished reading this. then again, maybe not.
I couldn't sleep last night, so right now I'm pretty much my usual walking-zombie of a self. Just thought I would throw that in there. But after hours of tossing and turning and thinking about life, I came up with an idea: Next time i keep a diary or journal (I don't know if it would work for a blog cuz i don't always post so frequently) every day i should complete the following sentance honestly on a daily basis: "I wish that _____." You see, it sounds ridiculously PC and lame, but by giving our lives just that much more direction, we can have a slightly better idea of what we want to get out of life and work for it. We can also look back to our previous thoughts and aspirations. I know I sound like a bloody self-help book right now, but cut me some slack here it was 4am...
Before I was unable to sleep, yesterday was interesting because I was stuck in a personal dilemma: graduation dresses. Should I wear the straight cut, but lacy, Lily Pulitzer graduation dress (that looked very classy, and well, like a graduation dress) or the flowy, sparkely one that, though not really what I had in mind for the occassion, looked really cool and hippy-esh? I found myself thinking: should I look like I did during my 6th grade graduation? in a little, classiclally cut talbots piece that did the job yet somehow didn't feel right? Should I wear the dress that looks like a graduation dress? the dress that fits me very well and is slimming, but comes from one of the preppiest companies ever that many others maybe wearing? OR should I wear the dress that originally I did not care for but mom wanted to keep it and the more I tried it on the more I liked it? The dress that was bought, as is much of my other clothing, in the teen section of a department store? The dress that sortof looks like a flower child might wear it? Is it too much for graduation? am I still that much of a nonconformist, and do I want to flaunt that at graduation?
Now that I have managed to take a stupid thing like graduation dresses and turn it into a dilemma of conformity v. nonconformity, you can understand why it took me an entire afternoon to nail down one. They both looked cute. Needless to say now that I reflect on it, I may be a little sweatier on the day thanks to the lack of $200 linen, but I went with the hippy one.
Once my mom left, it was my last sunday on campus before graduation. (6 days bitches!) So I found myself doing what I always do on sunday, except this time it was more fun because I didn't have any work hanging over my head. (Actually I just remembered I do, but oh well, I have another 45 min to kill. ) So I went to the klingon's basement to watch sci fi with him and george, then ate dinner, then chilled with george and tried to watch 2 movies but the fates were clearly against it, so we hung out with mark in the stud until his feed, then we wandered around campus to kill another half hour.
OK so now I am clearly rambling but that is pretty much my sunday in a nutshell. Oh, and if any of my readers would like to supply me with reviews/information regarding Alexia or Trima pills, please do so. I've been doing a lot of online research and the two seem *very* fishily related and I think once were owned by the same company but I can't find anything official...Yeah, if it's not a total scam, I'm gonna try it.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The End of Emo (Serious!) and Some Words on Change...
Well I don't feel like finishing my last paper of the year (finally!!!) so instead I am going to update my blog, because it's been awhile since I wrote something that wasn't obnoxiously emo, and I feel the old Addiction could use a little revamp...maybe that will come later as a birthday present or something, but here's a start. Oh, and I'm bringing back candy necklaces...
Speaking of changes, I graduate in ten days. Yes, ten, exactly. The countdown is getting close...I think it just hit me yesterday, when I saw what I will now refer to as 'My Tent' (for those of you who arent in the prep school loop, every year they set up a large white tent on a certain lawn to host the spring formal dance and graduation) or maybe it just hit me today, when i was looking at my free blocks in my agenda trying to waste away class time and then realized that this was my last day of thursday classes. Ever. I would never have my classes in this order ever again. After these last few days: no more block schedules, no more orderly, organized days, no more lunches in Watts with friends, no more the exact same group of friends, no more coats and ties, no more bells, no more dress code, no more cramming in the library, no more wasting time in the computer lab.
And just when I thought I was itching to graduate and get the hell out of this horrible year, I gotta hand it to ya, I'm gonna miss it...
But until then, I can still look forward to the parties and having what will probably be the most kick ass summer ever, not to mention college : ) (even though I also realized today how much of a huge change that is going to be, and it sortof scared the shit out of me...)
More on changes: When I first came here as a not-so-wee sophomore, I remember thinking of the seniors as these big, old, untouchable people. (then again when I first got here almost everyone was untouchable, and sortof all blended to form a large social wall that I would sit in front of and observe with amusement, occassionally attempt to climb, but never get dissapointed too much with if I failed) Then again, I always thought I would feel so much older as a senior in highschool, or at least look a little taller or more savvy/mature/bad ass. (I blame my lack of car keys...I seriously think that does the trick) I remember when i was 13 or 14, 17 seemed so far away, so close to 20 it was like the last threshold of my young life, but now that I'm here I still feel like I have a little ways more to go (phew!) 18's in 6 months, that should be fun. I guess another thing to add into this section would be how much everything's so ridiculously changed since sophomore year- myself, my views, my friends, my life- It seems like such a long journey that I never thought would end. I always knew it would, I just could never really picture it...Shit man, I'm going to college.
I'll break with the cliches to give you a little anecdote: Once I was chilling with my blog buddies in the comp lab, and I said "But just think, for the rest of our lives, when we look back on highschool, this is gonna be it!" And it's true to, no redos, and it can help determine who you are and how you act for the rest of your life...(or can it? I dunno yet but that's what I've heard) Then JV of course made a joke while trying look cool and to do a snapsnap: 'yeah! just this! right here! right now!" while gavrich typed something on his laptop and I continued to procrastinate my comp gov paper. Haha, too true.
We've got ten days guys, for christsakes, make it something you're proud of. Penis candy anyone?
Speaking of changes, I graduate in ten days. Yes, ten, exactly. The countdown is getting close...I think it just hit me yesterday, when I saw what I will now refer to as 'My Tent' (for those of you who arent in the prep school loop, every year they set up a large white tent on a certain lawn to host the spring formal dance and graduation) or maybe it just hit me today, when i was looking at my free blocks in my agenda trying to waste away class time and then realized that this was my last day of thursday classes. Ever. I would never have my classes in this order ever again. After these last few days: no more block schedules, no more orderly, organized days, no more lunches in Watts with friends, no more the exact same group of friends, no more coats and ties, no more bells, no more dress code, no more cramming in the library, no more wasting time in the computer lab.
And just when I thought I was itching to graduate and get the hell out of this horrible year, I gotta hand it to ya, I'm gonna miss it...
But until then, I can still look forward to the parties and having what will probably be the most kick ass summer ever, not to mention college : ) (even though I also realized today how much of a huge change that is going to be, and it sortof scared the shit out of me...)
More on changes: When I first came here as a not-so-wee sophomore, I remember thinking of the seniors as these big, old, untouchable people. (then again when I first got here almost everyone was untouchable, and sortof all blended to form a large social wall that I would sit in front of and observe with amusement, occassionally attempt to climb, but never get dissapointed too much with if I failed) Then again, I always thought I would feel so much older as a senior in highschool, or at least look a little taller or more savvy/mature/bad ass. (I blame my lack of car keys...I seriously think that does the trick) I remember when i was 13 or 14, 17 seemed so far away, so close to 20 it was like the last threshold of my young life, but now that I'm here I still feel like I have a little ways more to go (phew!) 18's in 6 months, that should be fun. I guess another thing to add into this section would be how much everything's so ridiculously changed since sophomore year- myself, my views, my friends, my life- It seems like such a long journey that I never thought would end. I always knew it would, I just could never really picture it...Shit man, I'm going to college.
I'll break with the cliches to give you a little anecdote: Once I was chilling with my blog buddies in the comp lab, and I said "But just think, for the rest of our lives, when we look back on highschool, this is gonna be it!" And it's true to, no redos, and it can help determine who you are and how you act for the rest of your life...(or can it? I dunno yet but that's what I've heard) Then JV of course made a joke while trying look cool and to do a snapsnap: 'yeah! just this! right here! right now!" while gavrich typed something on his laptop and I continued to procrastinate my comp gov paper. Haha, too true.
We've got ten days guys, for christsakes, make it something you're proud of. Penis candy anyone?
Sunday, May 13, 2007
You'll say that we have nothing in commmon...
...no common ground to stomp on, and we're falling apart...Then I said what about breakfast at tiffany's? She said I think I remember the film. Oh yes, I recall: I think we both kinda liked it, and I said well thats the one thing we got!
yeah....anyway, I would just like to preface this blog by informing all my readers of the second major blogging rule (the first being that anything read here cannot be used against myself or anyone I write about)
Rule #2- the address of a blog or any portion of its contents is never to be given to a prospective significant other/significant other/ anyone else who may in any way endanger the level of posting honesty, bluntness, and/or integrity. ( i mean seriously... look what happenned to vertical's...)
by having visited this page, you are now forced to adhere to that statement by consequence of paperclip castration or another equivalent horror. (yeah...I said it...)
Moving on....
So It was almost a double hitter saturday, which is a big deal in Juicy's loser life because she's been on a losing streak since middle school. The second hit has probably been rendered a DSQ, but it's still nice to know I can meet people without going out of my way to flirt my balls off. (haha that statement's funny cuz I'm talking about flirting but I don't have balls, well, not physically...) Anyway, with all the good fortune that has come to me in the past 24 hours, I have also realized a horrible curse:
Guys that have CLEARLY articulated interest: 4
Percent of which I was interested in: 0
Percent of which were on the "wow, I would have to be pretty desperate to go there" list: 100
yeah...I'll get off my bitchy high horse now by saying that 4 was somewhat endearing in his slowness...but then again, that sounds bitchy according to some... so I guess I'm just an ungrateful bitch. (another fabulous reason for rule #2)
Are my standards too high? I doubt it....(really) And ever since last years' psychoness the usual list of attractive qualities got near annihilated so that opened up another 40 percent of the population... I know a lot of you think that I'm just itching to get some but I just want to take a second to clarify that I'm actually not that desperate (except for maybe that one time...) and no, it's not all physical. (which is a nuisance, maybe I should just get balls...psh...you guys have it way too easy...)
Yeah so I'm gonna stop now I just wanted to point that out, plus I figured my lucky day deserved a post and some deep reflection...
yeah....anyway, I would just like to preface this blog by informing all my readers of the second major blogging rule (the first being that anything read here cannot be used against myself or anyone I write about)
Rule #2- the address of a blog or any portion of its contents is never to be given to a prospective significant other/significant other/ anyone else who may in any way endanger the level of posting honesty, bluntness, and/or integrity. ( i mean seriously... look what happenned to vertical's...)
by having visited this page, you are now forced to adhere to that statement by consequence of paperclip castration or another equivalent horror. (yeah...I said it...)
Moving on....
So It was almost a double hitter saturday, which is a big deal in Juicy's loser life because she's been on a losing streak since middle school. The second hit has probably been rendered a DSQ, but it's still nice to know I can meet people without going out of my way to flirt my balls off. (haha that statement's funny cuz I'm talking about flirting but I don't have balls, well, not physically...) Anyway, with all the good fortune that has come to me in the past 24 hours, I have also realized a horrible curse:
Guys that have CLEARLY articulated interest: 4
Percent of which I was interested in: 0
Percent of which were on the "wow, I would have to be pretty desperate to go there" list: 100
yeah...I'll get off my bitchy high horse now by saying that 4 was somewhat endearing in his slowness...but then again, that sounds bitchy according to some... so I guess I'm just an ungrateful bitch. (another fabulous reason for rule #2)
Are my standards too high? I doubt it....(really) And ever since last years' psychoness the usual list of attractive qualities got near annihilated so that opened up another 40 percent of the population... I know a lot of you think that I'm just itching to get some but I just want to take a second to clarify that I'm actually not that desperate (except for maybe that one time...) and no, it's not all physical. (which is a nuisance, maybe I should just get balls...psh...you guys have it way too easy...)
Yeah so I'm gonna stop now I just wanted to point that out, plus I figured my lucky day deserved a post and some deep reflection...
Friday, May 04, 2007
23 Days and Counting...
...way...too...slowly...I just want to graduate so I can stop being paranoid and be rid of this entire fucking year. I'm sick of procrastinating and not doing work cuz of all these fucking meaningless distractions. I'm sick of kicking myself for not working because i'm afraid i'll lose my spot in college and don't want to go to summer school. I'm sick of being "sick" to compensate for being a fuck up. I'm sick of feeling like it's sophomore year again, emo shit included. I'm sick of getting reports. I'm sick of freaking out every time I get a report because im afraid i'll get the boot. I'm sick of more and more bad things just piling up on me that are entirely my own fucky fault. I'm sick of not learning from my own mistakes for the billionth time. I'm sick of all these fucking couples. I'm sick of nothing good ever happenning except for getting my fav chocolate for doing well in Comp Gov. (then again today I bombed a test so oh well. If you were wondering why, it's cuz I'm a fuck up.)
I know it's idealistic to think that in college i'll be able to magically go back to perky over achieverness, or even if that's who I am anymore, or that i'll stop procrastinating, or actually get up on time, but there's still hope. I've already accepted the fact that i'm comprised of at least %50 pure fuck up (on a good day), at least they wont rub it in my face with reports 24/7, or chapel talks about fellow fuck ups of ages past. If you know me then you heard the chapel talk today, all about warnings v. actual consequences. story of my life. It was funny too, I probably would have enjoyed it more if i weren't cramming for a test that i had all the time in the world to study for, but didn't because, well, I'm a fuck up. Seriously, even my friends are starting to get sick of me bitching about it.
I don't have too much else to say today, unless actually I felt like it, but no truly emo statement is ever complete without...
Don't Let Me Get Me
Pink
Never win first place, I dont support the team
I cant take direction, and my socks are never
Clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I cant do nothin
Right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I cant take the person starin back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Dont let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah
La told me, youll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are.
Tired of being compared to damn britney spears
Shes so pretty, that just aint me
Doctor, doctor wont you please prescribe me
Somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz Im a hazard to myself
Dont let me get me
Im my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Dont let me get me
Im my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Doctor, doctor wont you please prescribe me
Somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Dont let me get me
Dont let me get me
Im my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I know it's idealistic to think that in college i'll be able to magically go back to perky over achieverness, or even if that's who I am anymore, or that i'll stop procrastinating, or actually get up on time, but there's still hope. I've already accepted the fact that i'm comprised of at least %50 pure fuck up (on a good day), at least they wont rub it in my face with reports 24/7, or chapel talks about fellow fuck ups of ages past. If you know me then you heard the chapel talk today, all about warnings v. actual consequences. story of my life. It was funny too, I probably would have enjoyed it more if i weren't cramming for a test that i had all the time in the world to study for, but didn't because, well, I'm a fuck up. Seriously, even my friends are starting to get sick of me bitching about it.
I don't have too much else to say today, unless actually I felt like it, but no truly emo statement is ever complete without...
Don't Let Me Get Me
Pink
Never win first place, I dont support the team
I cant take direction, and my socks are never
Clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I cant do nothin
Right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I cant take the person starin back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Dont let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah
La told me, youll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are.
Tired of being compared to damn britney spears
Shes so pretty, that just aint me
Doctor, doctor wont you please prescribe me
Somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz Im a hazard to myself
Dont let me get me
Im my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Dont let me get me
Im my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Doctor, doctor wont you please prescribe me
Somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Dont let me get me
Dont let me get me
Im my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
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