Fuck Buddies

(Or "If I'm Ever Asked to Give a Speech Inwhich I Impart Deep, Life-Learned Wisdom upon Youth, This will Surely Be It")

Today I was talking with a friend of mine who was faced with a common decision: should she or should she not make plans to hook up with someone, despite the fact that she had been consistantly sleeping with someone else almost everyday for the past month. While the obvious answer is "yes, why not, you're just sleeping together," it provided me with the opportunity to do some serious thinking about the term "Fuck Buddies" and it lead to some pretty startling revelations.

I have always been an advocate of the great, clean cut simplicity that the term "fuck buddies" or any variation thereof seems to offer. While most people argue that just trying to keep things at that level will ultimatley fail- either resulting in a more meaningful relationship or one person desiring a more meaningful relationship and being sorely dissapointed, I disagree. Call me an idealist, but I honestly believe that it is possible in this world for two people to maintain a steady sexual relationship, and even maybe a simultaneously normal one too, without having things get too messy.

But why do things get messy? I think I've figured it out. You see, even though both parties will gladly acknowledge that they are each others' "fuck buddies" (or booty call, or FWP, or what ever they've decided to call it) and honestly admit to anyone else that they're using the other person to at least a small degree, they would hate to really think the same thing of themselves. It all depends on the way each person looks at it. While most people have no problem with "they're physically attracted to me but for some reason or another have no desire to be in a relationship" (the core basics of your average fuck buddy/FWP/BC situation) they may well have a problem with "When they're really feeling desperate and have run out of all hotter options, that's when they call me up!" or "They have a medical condition where they're just really horny all the time and have to take it out on someone!" (both of which may well be hidden or not-so-hidden details in such a relationship). In sum, It has very little to do with how much you like your fuck buddy, but very much to do with how much you think your fuck buddy likes you.

The key then, to maintaining an ideal and long lasting fuck-buddy relationship, is not nearly as simple as one might think. It requires either a.) a thorough, and at least semi-respectful understanding between two people that may actually not be so easy to find with just anyone, or b.) an intricate and careful manipulation- a balance of feeding the other person's ego just enough so that they'll enjoy sleeping with you and not feel like a tool, but not excessively so that they think you might actually want something more out of the relationship. In the latter sense, the ideal fuck-buddy relationship, therefore, might actually be a surprisingly challenging thing to maintain. Furthermore in the latter case, an ideal and lasting fuck-buddy relationship actually never lets its members see it for what it truly is in too much detail, even if they both well know the basics what's going on.

To conclude, while sex drive is obviously a key factor in perpetuating a fuck-buddy based relationship, ego and self-esteem can actually be just as important.




Hm. Fascinating.

My Dignity < A Spoon

In writing this blog, I've made no secret of being occassionally discontent with my, uh, "subpar" personal life. I realize bitching about this kind of stuff gets old pretty fast, so I've tried to cut down as of late, but the following was too good to pass up:

Today for lunch, I stopped at a small convenience store for a sandwhich to take to the library.

Me: And a spoon please, for the dessert.
Counter Guy: Just one spoon?
Me: Uh... yes, just one.
Counter Guy: You're eating all alone?
Me: Uh, yes.

Really? At Noon? On a Wednesday? Is the concept really that horrendous?

Oh, and the "creamy milk specialty" turned out to be essentially yogurt. Hmph.

Pretty in #FFC0CB

I'm not really sure how I feel about pink electronics.


Yes, I know pink is one of my favorite colors.


Yes, I know I should revel in the opportunity that so many things are now available in pink.


But to be honest, it kind of rubs me the wrong way. It's become almost expected in selection choice. What was once "black or white" is now "black, white, or pink." It's the all-too-predictable, looks-savvy, girly option. Where it once took a great feat of passionate and dedicated shopping to find that truly unique, special something in pink; it's now been reduced to the status quo. By purchasing an electronic device in pink, it's almost too clear how well I'm fitting into some (genius) marketing scheme for valley girls, sorrority sisters, and trophy wives. And whatever happenned to all the other dozens of colors in the world anyway? Now a purple computer, that would be something.


But I suppose I shouldn't spend too much time bitching about this. After all, that would render me a horrible hypocrite. Everyone, meet Pinky. She looks something like this:




Pinky is exactly half the size of Sabriel (my main laptop), roughly a third of the weight, and has about 16 times the battery life. (Sadly, I'm not exaggerating). Did I really need a netbook? Couldn't I have just quit my bitching and moaning about back pain, bought a new battery for my laptop, and made do? Maybe. But I'm convinced this thing will somehow exponentially increase my productivity. (Even if it just means I can log onto AE anywhere and get work done in 20-30 minute chunks between construction.) And besides, it's just so damn cute.

Interrobangin'

I turned 20 the other day so I figure blogging about it is pretty necessary. How do I feel? Well, I was having a great day until someone reminded me that, in ten years, I'll be thirty. Actually, I don't feel that old. I'm in age limbo. By teenager standards- yes, I'm grown up and therefore essentially dead to the world. But by adult standards, I can't possibly be any younger. Ultimately, they both kind of cancel each other out, leaving me with the mere shock that my age now starts with a 2. That's the wierd bit.

I recently learned about a new kind of punctuation that Word calls an "Interrobang." It looks like this:

I think that pretty much sums up twenty, in a nutshell.

RFTSOB

Recently, I've taken to re-reading old blog posts en masse when I want to waste time in the wee hours of the morning instead of sleep. First mine, then the blogbuddies. Having spent the past hour and a half wrapped up in happy blogosphere nostalgia of years past, here are my thoughts:

1. God this blog used to suck. As annoying as it is when people never post, I now fully understand your wise desire for quality control.

2. Note to self: avoid excess ditzy smiley faces in comments. Actually, work on commenting skills all together.

3. Once upon a time, I would tell people "oh yes, and these are the nerdy friends I hang out with. I only understand what they're talking about maybe a third of the time." Now, looking back based on what I know now, I'm pretty sure that number has tripled. It's official, I'm out of excuses. Oh well, the dork side is nice, plus they have cookies. (or at least that's what the t-shirt said)


Also- As you may know, I recently ran into a serious (yet serendipitous) snag in an attempt to dedicate the aching void in my life to WOW. When my credit card wouldn't work initially, an investigation yielded the following results: You see, a character cannot be transferred from the European server to the US server, making any efforts I put in whilst over here absoultely fruitless once I head back stateside. Furthermore, joining the European server means paying 14.99 Euros a month, not dollars. At the current exchange rate, plus the cost my credit card charges to convert, that's well over double what I would pay in the US. Initially I was able to get over my cheap-ass self enough to pay $14.99/mo for the joy that is being a Horde Tauren Shaman (I know, Tauren, surprising, right?) but this is simply too much.

So I need some serious help- and by that I mean another (preferably free) game to fill the void until I'm back in the US for an extended period of time. Come to think of it, with the multitude of mmorpgs out there, surely there exist several games just as awesome as warcraft, just without the brandname allure and hefty price tag, right? (BGII is still an option, but try finding a game store for US PCs in Francophone Switzerland. Internet shopping fails because I've probabaly already spent enough on international shipping from US websites to have the import facility in Zurich give me an entire file. Plus, this is also very expensive, which brings us back to the problem that started this questline to begin with- my cheap-ass self. And no, when you're in this deep to character development, Pokemon simply won't do. )

Suggestions? Guidance? Obi Wan?